What not to do when with the girlfriend

[nwadler]

Hey guys and gals looking for some advice on things not to do when with the girlfriend. This is in regards to responding to calls at the station at certain times and things like that. This comes from responding to the station for a call just as we sat down to dinner at a local restaurant nothing fancy. This hole relationship thing is a little new for me so just looking for some advice. She is very understanding since volunteer firefighting runs throughout her family.

[voyager9]

#1: Family
#2: Work
#3: Firehouse.

Family and Work always come before the firehouse. I've seen too many people get that confused and end up either burnt out, divorced, or both. If you want to volunteer long term its important to find a balance and that means putting the FD on the back burner sometimes.
I'm not going to say I've never done it, but I'd have to think really hard about running out of a restaurant to go on a fire call. It's good that your girlfriend is understanding, but you can't go to that well too often.
I usually ask myself if it is vital that I respond to a call when in that situation. If I'm going to be one of ten guys all standing by for BS then I probably won't go. If it is work, or I know we're strapped for manpower then I may. I try to make sure she's aware of those situations beforehand as well.

[MalahatTwo7]

Sadly and unfortunately I can "One-Up" you on that story, nwadler. Not that I really want to, but true events over come all.

Back in the fall of 2001, after the 9-11 event, I was given orders to board HMCS VANCOUVER and prepare for deployment with the US Carrier Group, JOHN C. STENNIS. We were scheduled to depart for San Diego 29 October. On 28 October my (now ex) wife and I had reservations at one of Victoria's premier resturants, Milestones (home of the Bellini). Anyhow, time came and I was standing at the front door, reaching for the key hook to take down my car keys, when BBEEEEPP BEEEEPP BBBEEEPPP. Damn, there goes the pager.

Then I get "The Look".

Wisely, I pause, and then continue to reach for my keys, but now listening as the page starts to come through, and hearing the station siren begin to kick in. "... Malahat, report of three car MVA, possible entrapment, intersection of Aspen Rd and TransCanada Highway...."

Oh great, thats SOUTH end, and thats the way we have to go to get to the resturant.

Short end of the story is that I got "The Look" again, but it was tempered with understanding that all we would end up doing is getting caught in the traffic tie-up anyway. I ran the call, and we were about 45 min late for our dinner, but she called ahead and explained.

As voyager9 says, family comes (or it should anyway) first - but once in a while, circumstance will trump it all. AND it sucks when it does.

[randsc]

When you're going out to dinner, leave the pager at home. The eff-ing thing isn't an implant. And dinner, generally speaking, happens in the evening. Which would be the time when volunteer fire departments have the least difficulty coming up with a crew.

And if you're in her bed, pager off. Period.

[Grizzracer]

And if you're in her bed, pager off. Period.[/QUOTE]

That's where I went wrong!! Oops.

[KEEPBACK200FEET]

I've always been told to "never leave one fire for another".

[MalahatTwo7]

And if you're in her bed, pager off. Period.

Ok... I'm sure the residents of the house that just burned down - do to lack of hands/resources would enjoy hearing that one. Sure, I know that most times One Man plus or minus does not make much difference, but when your initial fire team is at best, when all turn out for the page, maybe 20, with 4 trucks (one pumper, one tanker) and MA is still 20 min away......

[MasterMerlin]

I've always been told to "never leave one fire for another".

Been there, done that! The only good thing was she was in the FD also, so we both went. Then, as per your comment, you get three fires if you're lucky!!!

[dmleblanc]

Hey guys and gals looking for some advice on things not to do when with the girlfriend

My initial thought was, "Don't take a phone call from your other girlfriend"

When you're going out to dinner, leave the pager at home. The eff-ing thing isn't an implant. And dinner, generally speaking, happens in the evening. Which would be the time when volunteer fire departments have the least difficulty coming up with a crew.

.

Well spoken. Use some judgement and restraint and don't let the damn thing rule your life.

Ok... I'm sure the residents of the house that just burned down - do to lack of hands/resources would enjoy hearing that one. Sure, I know that most times One Man plus or minus does not make much difference, but when your initial fire team is at best, when all turn out for the page, maybe 20, with 4 trucks (one pumper, one tanker) and MA is still 20 min away......

You get 20 guys turning out for the first alarm? You're lucky...

[randsc]

You get 20 guys turning out for the first alarm? You're lucky...

That's what I was thinking. Here, a full box for a first is 15.

I stand by my comment about turning off the pager at certain times. No one can reasonably expect volunteer firefighters to be available every minute of every day. You do what you can, when you can.

Malahat, I imagine that, being a Canadian, you enjoy an occassional adult beverage, or ten. Don't you turn off the pager?

In all seriousness, I would have qualms about turning off the pager if I happened to be in town during the day (doesn't happen much). But in the evening, at least around here, departments can get a good response. ANd the family, work, fire department mantra mentioned above, with which I agree entirely, means sometimes making time to spend with your family (or girlfriend) even at the expense of an occasional call.

[mtvernond]

time....

I would have to agree as most folks have said its a balance that you have to find for yourself. My wife was very "skeptical" at first about me joining the FD b/c of how much time it would take up. Although I have not been on very long I have learned to balance my time if we have plans to go out or are having people over I just turn my pager off, however, if we hear the sirens my wife is the first to turn it back on to see "what's happening"
Good luck!

[MalahatTwo7]

You get 20 guys turning out for the first alarm? You're lucky...

No. That was the entire strength of the FD. Malahat personnel numbers float between 15 and 20 per year. When I joined, we had a whapping 25 members. By the end of that year, we were down to 15.

[randsc]

When I joined, we had a whapping 25 members. By the end of that year, we were down to 15.

Coincidence?

[MalahatTwo7]

Coincidence?

SMARTY PANTS! Actually all those who left had put in their resignations as I was walking in the door - BEFORE any of them knew me. Just the Transient Nature of the Beast in a small town volly station. Or so the Chief always says.

[jccrabby3084]

Wow...you read the title of a thread...think of some great smart*ss thing to say...got it all planned....then you read the post. Damn, now I'm depressed....this was meant to be serious.

Well Anyway....Don't check out the hot bartender too long....
Don't bring her to Hooters....least not for a few dates...
Don't try to gross her out by dropping *ss in front of her....least not the first year.


But to quote my former Chief...if she does gets P.O. about you being a FF.

"Yas...I thought I was in love once, but it was just gas"