Lonely Planet

[2andfrom]

Be aware that the Travel Guide"Lonely Planet" one of America's prestigious travel icons is ecstatic about New Zealand ,they are quoted as saying about us "They've long known they live in Paradise and now everyone else does too"
We do not have any nasties here-snakes, crocs,or other bitey things--we have Nobby Clarks, but as long as you do not swim out and pat them on the head they do not cruise the shopping malls--Al Quaeda does not know we exist--one of your Mega Shopping centres would service the entire North Island-and one of our weird quirks is we play a rougher form of your football, without the armour!

Please keep quiet about our location--it has been magic here and we do not want to break the spell!

[superchef]

Please keep quiet about our location--it has been magic here and we do not want to break the spell!

ok. I promse not to spill the beans about the miles of beautiful beaches with no rubbish on them. the view from the fishing boat, the thrill of catching your first snapper, and I have not yet made it to South Island. I promsie not to tell.

[FlyingKiwi]

You told, you told.

Thats it I'm telling on you.

[Dalmatian190]

Al Quaeda does not know we exist

Nah, it's just every operative to arrive sees the nice fluffy & soft "goats" and decides he's received his 72 Virgins...

Does make it pretty easy for Kiwi intelligence to find them that way.

[martinm]

I was made (on pain of painful death), not to tell anyone what it was like when I was there. I live in fear of being blamed for a tourist explosion

[FlyingKiwi]

Dal

I always thought that concept to be "Virgin on the rediculous".

After all, with whats happend after the last 10 years, they must have run out by now.

(And Al Quaeda does know we exist, it's just that our woolly headed green leaning peacenick government refuses to believe the concept.)

[lvwrench]

I just called Donald Trump and he will be there to start construction of his newest high rise luxuary condo, casino and shopping mall. Shouldn't take up more than half the territory. See you should not have said anything.

[2andfrom]

Still safe!

I just called Donald Trump and he will be there to start construction of his newest high rise luxuary condo, casino and shopping mall. Shouldn't take up more than half the territory. See you should not have said anything.

As far as I am aware ,Trump ,like most Americans thinks that Noo Zelund is part of Awestruckingfailure--and will no doubt build his monstrosity somewhere along the Gold Coast with all the other Hi-Rise Towers and Villages in the sky, in the mistaken belief he is in Godszone-even their flag looks like ours.

There is only one of your population we have entrusted with the coordinates, and pass word to gain entry to our Magic Realm.
"Supercheffie"--and she has been suitably bribed with the correct alcohol (which has got her safely addicted)--she knows only us lot have the antidote,which ensures she comes back. Crafty as sh#t house rats us lot.

[Driver76]

aif you want to keep peolpe away then all you need to do is post detailed directions for them to get there by car.

[lvwrench]

playboy

2andfrom: Hoow about if we have HH build a Playboy retreat there?

[2andfrom]

Like your style!

aif you want to keep peolpe away then all you need to do is post detailed directions for them to get there by car.

Driver--I like your subtle approach to the problem(or in our case no problem)
you seem to have the same twisted humour as I have.

lvwrench--if HH can build a Playboy Club for blokes, why the hell in this age of EO cannot we build a Playgirl Club for the blokettes?
I could easily become a plaything for a Drop Dead gorgeous 18yr old who makes Naomi Cambell and that weirdo Paris Hilton look like rejects from the dog pound--as a matter of fact if if it is perfectly legal in the States to open a Firefighters College--why can't we open our own "Be a pretty girls Sex Slave" Campus? More fun than nasty flames!!

PS-Dirty old men need love too!

[lvwrench]

playgirl

2andfrom: I like the concept of a Playgirl club but just make sure they have a Viagra bar for us dirty old men.

[2andfrom]

Solved

2andfrom: I like the concept of a Playgirl club but just make sure they have a Viagra bar for us dirty old men.

A fleet of semi's loaded to the max with the desired medication are heading towards the chosen location.
Alongside the railcars loaded with your beverage of choice--European lagers-JD-Southern Comfort and other legal mind altering refreshment--Ouzo is not one that I choose to get wasted on again,but the first time was an exciting ride!
Should anyone feel that I hold women in low esteem--please realise that my Mum was a female, and I loved her dearly.Not too keen on the MIL-but as we say over here(and I am sure over in your neck of the woods)"Sh#t happens"

[superchef]

no no no...no bunny clubs

Bunnies do nothing but reproduce. Then they would chase all the sheep away. You don't want to buy a rug made with "pure New Zealand bunny fur" do you?


In any case, I have not told the really big secret anyway, so we are safe. I still want to make a few more trips down under (or move there when I have my degree).