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  • Time is relative to the company you spend it with. If it is your crazy relatives that will not leave, time slows down to an almost immeasurable crawl..
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

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    • Only accused, not convicted!!!

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      • I have a feeling that Thanksgiving is being taken hostage by retailers trying to bump sells before Christmas.. What happened to looking forward to football games and playing cards with family after dinner. Now, everybody talks about Black Friday sales and what time they are going shopping. Most stores around here are opening late Thursday night. It is great for the retail business to have the excitement... but I prefer to get excited about the thought of hot apple pie from the oven, and sleeping past 6a.m. on Friday....


        I just realized that I am becoming my grandpa. Sorry for the rant..


        Pass the dressing.. It won't happen again...
        I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

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        • No rant. When you're right,you're RIGHT. The Bird comes FIRST......Then and ONLY then is it the Bearded ones turn. I'm looking forrward to family activities,stuffing my belly and a LONG overdue nap. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! T.C.

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          • Rant is allowed!!! I'm so over the massive commercialization of holidays, it ain't even funny!


            Originally posted by rhvfd1214 View Post
            Sorry for the rant..

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            • Yesterday was a quiet day in the county with only one "lift assist" call for our small department. I guess all the crazy folks were sleeping after their Thursday night, Black Friday shopping sprees. Maybe there is some positive to this year's dash for the retail cash..
              I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

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              • Ever have one of *those* days?

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                • Slim Jims, for when steak is not an option.
                  I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

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                  • Man the NREMT is a nerve killer, Wife and I just took the paramedic exam on sat. The good part is we both smoked it.
                    Get the first line into operation.

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                    • For All You MARINES Out There

                      The Woman Marine Pilot

                      The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:

                      Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

                      The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.

                      There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.

                      But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.

                      "Janie, do you have a story to share?"

                      "Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

                      She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.

                      ''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. 'What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?

                      "Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."


                      Spoken like the True Kid Of A Marine!
                      If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

                      "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

                      "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

                      Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

                      impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

                      IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by MalahatTwo7 View Post
                        The Woman Marine Pilot

                        The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:

                        Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

                        The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.

                        There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.

                        But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.

                        "Janie, do you have a story to share?"

                        "Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

                        She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.

                        ''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. 'What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?

                        "Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."


                        Spoken like the True Kid Of A Marine!


                        OMG!!

                        Stay away too when she has pms!
                        Stay Safe and Well Out There....

                        Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

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                        • I thought the moral of the story was that an empty whiskey bottle won't break.
                          I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by rhvfd1214 View Post
                            I thought the moral of the story was that an empty whiskey bottle won't break.
                            Hahahhaaa Now THAT is funny cuz that was my first impression too!
                            If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

                            "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

                            "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

                            Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

                            impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

                            IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

                            Comment


                            • Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her reception class pupils put on his boots?

                              He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on.b By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.

                              She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as, together, they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet.

                              He then announced, "These aren't my boots."

                              She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" But once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner were the boots off when he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mum made me wear 'em."

                              Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

                              Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?"

                              "He said, 'I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."



                              She will be eligible for parole in three years.
                              Last edited by MalahatTwo7; 12-15-2011, 04:37 PM.
                              If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

                              "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

                              "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

                              Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

                              impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

                              IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

                              Comment


                              • When asking a teacher for help with your boots, the third time's a harm....
                                I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

                                Comment

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