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  • Originally posted by ChiefReason
    I wish I had a nickel for every time someone said, "I wish I had a nickel..."
    CR


    I just wish I had a nickel, they raised the price of a can of pop to 55 cents.


    ( in my worst Napoleon Dynamite voice) GOSH !!!
    I.A.C.O.J. "The Cork"

    Comment


    • It could have been a "worse" voice... Goofy:

      GGGAAAAWWWWWHHHRRRRSSHHH

      EHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEEE
      If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

      "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

      "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

      Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

      impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

      IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

      Comment


      • in case I don't have time to check in again

        Take care everyone and stay safe. The land of the kangaroos and kualas is calling my name and in a few days I will be heading down under. Try and behave yourselves while I am away (if that is possible for a house full of firefighters that is).

        Comment


        • Originally posted by superchef
          Try and behave yourselves while I am away (if that is possible for a house full of firefighters that is).

          I am wounded........we always try and behave.

          It's just that we're not to successful at it.

          Have a great trip and bring us some pictures and receipies.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by batchief99
            I am wounded........we always try and behave.

            It's just that we're not to successful at it..

            Well, there is always hope.....
            Last edited by superchef; 05-09-2006, 07:47 PM.

            Comment


            • BEHAVE? Thats like a two syllable word isn't it? LOL
              If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

              "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

              "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

              Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

              impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

              IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

              Comment


              • And now for something completely different......................

                Thread Killer Extraordinaire!

                Comment


                • Yeah.............

                  Originally posted by superchef
                  Take care everyone and stay safe. Try and behave yourselves while I am away (if that is possible for a house full of firefighters that is).

                  It's Not ........
                  Never use Force! Get a Bigger Hammer.
                  In memory of
                  Chief Earle W. Woods, 1912 - 1997
                  Asst. Chief John R. Woods Sr. 1937 - 2006

                  IACOJ Budget Analyst

                  I Refuse to be a Spectator. If I come to the Game, I'm Playing.

                  www.gdvfd18.com

                  Comment


                  • Engineers' Conversion Table

                    For all you engineering types. This is pretty heavy scientific stuff... converting units:

                    1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

                    2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

                    3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

                    4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

                    5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

                    6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong

                    7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Sterling

                    8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

                    9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

                    10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

                    11. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line

                    12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

                    13. 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone

                    14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles

                    15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle

                    16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds

                    17. 52 cards = 1 decacards

                    18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton

                    19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen

                    20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

                    21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin

                    22. 10 rations = 1 decoration

                    23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration

                    24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram

                    25. 4 nickels = 2 paradigms

                    26. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League

                    27. 100 Senators = Not 1 decision
                    SRFD905 - Serving since 1998

                    *~-|EGH|FTM|-~*

                    Comment


                    • Alright you Rotton Bugger! I was in the middle of swallowing coffee when I read the first line...... Very nearly had a wet keyboard!!!
                      If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

                      "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

                      "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

                      Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

                      impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

                      IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

                      Comment


                      • I especially like # 18.

                        18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton


                        Sorry for the near miss on your keyboard...
                        SRFD905 - Serving since 1998

                        *~-|EGH|FTM|-~*

                        Comment


                        • #1 was the killer for me. The mental image that came with that one was almost too much to bear this early in the day.
                          If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

                          "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

                          "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

                          Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

                          impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

                          IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

                          Comment


                          • This came in from The Bossman Warrant Officer:

                            It's sad that Tennessee and Mississippi are the only states that make us
                            look good. Gotta read these.

                            A guy from Tennessee passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved
                            widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.
                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                            How do you know when you're staying in a Tennessee hotel?

                            When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies, "Go ahead."
                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                            How can you tell if a Tennessee redneck is married?

                            There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.
                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                            Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?

                            It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                            What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Tennessee?

                            Documentaries.
                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                            Where was the toothbrush invented?

                            Tennessee. If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been
                            called a teeth brush.
                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                            A Tennessee State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-64 and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?"

                            The driver replies "Bout wut?"
                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                            Did you hear about the $3 million Tennessee State Lottery?
                            (Come on- this is funny!)

                            The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.
                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                            The governor's mansion in Tennessee burned down!

                            Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.

                            The library was a total loss too.

                            Both books-----poof! Up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring one
                            of them.
                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                            A new law was recently passed in Tennessee.

                            When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.
                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                            A guy walks into a bar in Tennessee and orders a mudslide.

                            The bartender looks at the man and says, "You ain't from 'round here are ya?'

                            "No," replies the man, "I'm from Pennsylvania."

                            The bartender looks at him and says, "Well, what do you do in Pennsylvania?"

                            "I'm a taxidermist," said the man.

                            The bartender, looking very bewildered now, asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?"

                            "The man says,"I mount animals.

                            The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar..."It's okay boys, he's one of us!"


                            My sister lives in Tennessee
                            If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

                            "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

                            "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

                            Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

                            impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

                            IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

                            Comment


                            • I guess I'll have to remain a Southern Gentleman and refrain from challenging you to a duel for insulting the Great State of Tennessee with such base humor. It is quite obvious sir, that you don't know Jack.
                              Attached Files
                              ullrichk
                              a.k.a.
                              perfesser

                              a ship in a harbor is safe. . . but that's not what ships are for

                              Comment


                              • Just kidding, of course . Tennesseeans amuse me too, even if I are one!
                                ullrichk
                                a.k.a.
                                perfesser

                                a ship in a harbor is safe. . . but that's not what ships are for

                                Comment

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