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Some have wondered where Ol' Stayback has been these few months, well let me tell you....
...it all started with a trip I booked to Branson to see the Captain and Tennile "Girls, Girls, Girls" Tour. Sooomehooow my travel agent made a HUGE mistake and sent me on a rather slow boat to a place called Habookistan. I thought it was odd to take a boat through the Midwest...but I had faith in my agent. Weeeeellll...let me tell you, didn't HE look foolish when I finally made it to Habookistan...I was just in time for a little festival they hold to honor the reproductive system of the Great Horned Yak!!! Man...my first yak festival!!! The Habookees....who take great offense at being called Habookee...annnnnyway...the Habookees set large fires as some sort of religious ceremony. I quickly showed them how fire can be put out using copious amounts of water from their sacred pond. The villagers became quite excitable and were so amazed they were screaming a variety of sayings in their native tongue. It's funny how the language sounds so much like our's after you've been around it for awhile. I could have sworn I heard someone shout something that started with "Mother"...I dunno. The Chief of the Habookees was quite fascinated with my American money and through sign language told me he needed much of it to make some sort of ceremonial gear for the cheek of his right buttocks. The villagers, meanwhile, were chanting about the sacrifice of some "Pale-Faced Weasel"...but the Chief seemed to ignore them as he was collecting my money. You know...come to think of it...I never saw a single weasel while I was there. Man...whenever they catch up with him...WOOOOEEEE!...is he in for a bad day!!
I was honored to take part in the "Drinking of the YUCKPOOIE"...I'm not sure what it was...but it had some holy importance relating to the reproductive system of this Yak. The villagers were sooooo happy to see me drink, one nearly loss control of his functions from laughter. What a jovial bunch they are!! Funny thing is I can't remember the next seven days...and I woke up in Vegas wearing some sort of loincloth and missing my wallet...man that Chief suuuuuure needed a lot of money to make his ceremonial gear!
Anywho..it was a vacation I'll never forget....I guess the Captain and Tennile will have to wait until next year....maybe they'll being playing in Habookistan and I can revisit my new-found Habookee friends.
...it all started with a trip I booked to Branson to see the Captain and Tennile "Girls, Girls, Girls" Tour. Sooomehooow my travel agent made a HUGE mistake and sent me on a rather slow boat to a place called Habookistan. I thought it was odd to take a boat through the Midwest...but I had faith in my agent. Weeeeellll...let me tell you, didn't HE look foolish when I finally made it to Habookistan...I was just in time for a little festival they hold to honor the reproductive system of the Great Horned Yak!!! Man...my first yak festival!!! The Habookees....who take great offense at being called Habookee...annnnnyway...the Habookees set large fires as some sort of religious ceremony. I quickly showed them how fire can be put out using copious amounts of water from their sacred pond. The villagers became quite excitable and were so amazed they were screaming a variety of sayings in their native tongue. It's funny how the language sounds so much like our's after you've been around it for awhile. I could have sworn I heard someone shout something that started with "Mother"...I dunno. The Chief of the Habookees was quite fascinated with my American money and through sign language told me he needed much of it to make some sort of ceremonial gear for the cheek of his right buttocks. The villagers, meanwhile, were chanting about the sacrifice of some "Pale-Faced Weasel"...but the Chief seemed to ignore them as he was collecting my money. You know...come to think of it...I never saw a single weasel while I was there. Man...whenever they catch up with him...WOOOOEEEE!...is he in for a bad day!!
I was honored to take part in the "Drinking of the YUCKPOOIE"...I'm not sure what it was...but it had some holy importance relating to the reproductive system of this Yak. The villagers were sooooo happy to see me drink, one nearly loss control of his functions from laughter. What a jovial bunch they are!! Funny thing is I can't remember the next seven days...and I woke up in Vegas wearing some sort of loincloth and missing my wallet...man that Chief suuuuuure needed a lot of money to make his ceremonial gear!
Anywho..it was a vacation I'll never forget....I guess the Captain and Tennile will have to wait until next year....maybe they'll being playing in Habookistan and I can revisit my new-found Habookee friends.
(Me)
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