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Weird But True

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  • I SAID: "PARDON?"

    Police catch burglar having sex in basement of building he had broken into

    Canadian Press October 13, 2005

    PITTSBURGH (AP) - Pittsburgh police say they caught a serial burglar in the act - a sex act.

    Officers found Robert Calloway, 40, in the basement of a Squirrel Hill apartment building he had broken into, police said. Authorities said Calloway was having sex with a woman who was not identified. He was charged with Monday's break-in, as well as in three others in recent weeks. Calloway matches the description of a man caught on surveillance tape breaking into the basements of other apartment buildings, police said.

    In all the cases, Calloway is accused of prying the locks from storage area doors. Sometimes nothing was reported missing; in other cases, a leaf blower, gas can, and tool box were taken, police said.

    Storage bins had been broken into in the basement where Calloway was found having sex with the woman, police said.

    It was not immediately clear whether he had an attorney.

    © The Canadian Press 2005
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

    Comment


    • October 13, 2005 -- A man sentenced to nine months of house arrest made a tearful plea for the judge to jail him instead — arguing that having to listen to his wife's constant nagging was cruel and inhuman punishment. "I need some peace!" pleaded Ahmed Salhi, a 24-year-old Algerian convicted of violating immigration laws in Ferrera, Italy. The judge took pity on Salhi and commuted the rest of his sentence to a proper prison.
      ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
      NEVER FORGET 9-11-01
      343
      CAPT. Frank Callahan Ladder 35 *
      LT. John Ginley Engine 40
      FF. Bruce Gary Engine 40
      FF. Jimmy Giberson Ladder 35
      FF. Michael Otten Ladder 35 *
      FF. Steve Mercado Engine 40 *
      FF. Kevin Bracken Engine 40 *
      FF. Vincent Morello Ladder 35
      FF. Michael Roberts Ladder 35 *
      FF. Michael Lynch Engine 40
      FF. Michael Dauria Engine 40

      Charleston 9
      "If my job was easy a cop would be doing it."
      *******************CLICK HERE*****************

      Comment


      • October 14, 2005 -- It's the thought that counts in a marriage proposal.
        Chris Mueller, 25, was etching the big question into a soybean field in North Dakota when he noticed the "m" in "marry" took up too much room. He decided to cut corners, spelling "KATIE WILL YOU MARY ME?" Then he took Katie Goltz for an airplane ride. "I said, 'Yes' and cried, like all girls do," said Katie of Hillsboro. "I thought it was so sweet that he spelled it wrong. I thought it made it more cute and more special."
        ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
        NEVER FORGET 9-11-01
        343
        CAPT. Frank Callahan Ladder 35 *
        LT. John Ginley Engine 40
        FF. Bruce Gary Engine 40
        FF. Jimmy Giberson Ladder 35
        FF. Michael Otten Ladder 35 *
        FF. Steve Mercado Engine 40 *
        FF. Kevin Bracken Engine 40 *
        FF. Vincent Morello Ladder 35
        FF. Michael Roberts Ladder 35 *
        FF. Michael Lynch Engine 40
        FF. Michael Dauria Engine 40

        Charleston 9
        "If my job was easy a cop would be doing it."
        *******************CLICK HERE*****************

        Comment


        • No happy returns on this deposit.
          October 15, 2005 -- A Swedish man who donated his sperm to a lesbian couple in the early 1990s has been ordered to pay child support for their three kids. The man told his nation's highest court that the women had agreed that he would not be involved in raising the children in any way. But after the two women separated, the biological mother of the three kids demanded child support from him — and the court ruled in her favor.
          ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
          NEVER FORGET 9-11-01
          343
          CAPT. Frank Callahan Ladder 35 *
          LT. John Ginley Engine 40
          FF. Bruce Gary Engine 40
          FF. Jimmy Giberson Ladder 35
          FF. Michael Otten Ladder 35 *
          FF. Steve Mercado Engine 40 *
          FF. Kevin Bracken Engine 40 *
          FF. Vincent Morello Ladder 35
          FF. Michael Roberts Ladder 35 *
          FF. Michael Lynch Engine 40
          FF. Michael Dauria Engine 40

          Charleston 9
          "If my job was easy a cop would be doing it."
          *******************CLICK HERE*****************

          Comment


          • Down Under twist on putting all your eggs in one basket.

            October 16, 2005 -- An Aussie was busted and jailed for two years after he tried to smuggle 23 bird eggs out of the country in his underwear. And the puns just keep on coming — most were cockatoo eggs, a protected native Australian species.
            ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
            NEVER FORGET 9-11-01
            343
            CAPT. Frank Callahan Ladder 35 *
            LT. John Ginley Engine 40
            FF. Bruce Gary Engine 40
            FF. Jimmy Giberson Ladder 35
            FF. Michael Otten Ladder 35 *
            FF. Steve Mercado Engine 40 *
            FF. Kevin Bracken Engine 40 *
            FF. Vincent Morello Ladder 35
            FF. Michael Roberts Ladder 35 *
            FF. Michael Lynch Engine 40
            FF. Michael Dauria Engine 40

            Charleston 9
            "If my job was easy a cop would be doing it."
            *******************CLICK HERE*****************

            Comment


            • October 17, 2005 -- Hey, let's waste taxpayers' money.
              That's what seems to be happening in Oakley, Idaho, where municipal elections are being held — even though there are no candidates! Oakley has two city-council vacancies to fill, but no one has filed the papers to be placed on the ballot. And there's no law that states elections can be canceled in that case.
              ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
              NEVER FORGET 9-11-01
              343
              CAPT. Frank Callahan Ladder 35 *
              LT. John Ginley Engine 40
              FF. Bruce Gary Engine 40
              FF. Jimmy Giberson Ladder 35
              FF. Michael Otten Ladder 35 *
              FF. Steve Mercado Engine 40 *
              FF. Kevin Bracken Engine 40 *
              FF. Vincent Morello Ladder 35
              FF. Michael Roberts Ladder 35 *
              FF. Michael Lynch Engine 40
              FF. Michael Dauria Engine 40

              Charleston 9
              "If my job was easy a cop would be doing it."
              *******************CLICK HERE*****************

              Comment


              • The PC Police have struck again.

                October 18, 2005 -- An English theater group staging "Snow White And the Seven Dwarfs" this Christmas has been ordered to drop the word "dwarfs" from the show because some people could find it offensive. The Coxheath Players in Kent must now substitute it with either "gnomes" or "guardians of the forest."
                ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
                NEVER FORGET 9-11-01
                343
                CAPT. Frank Callahan Ladder 35 *
                LT. John Ginley Engine 40
                FF. Bruce Gary Engine 40
                FF. Jimmy Giberson Ladder 35
                FF. Michael Otten Ladder 35 *
                FF. Steve Mercado Engine 40 *
                FF. Kevin Bracken Engine 40 *
                FF. Vincent Morello Ladder 35
                FF. Michael Roberts Ladder 35 *
                FF. Michael Lynch Engine 40
                FF. Michael Dauria Engine 40

                Charleston 9
                "If my job was easy a cop would be doing it."
                *******************CLICK HERE*****************

                Comment


                • October 19, 2005 -- Magician David Copperfield says he plans to impregnate a girl onstage — without touching her. "Naturally, it will be without sex. Everyone will be happy about it, but I'm not telling you any more," the illusionist told the German magazine Galore. Uh, didn't we already read about this in the Bible?
                  ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
                  NEVER FORGET 9-11-01
                  343
                  CAPT. Frank Callahan Ladder 35 *
                  LT. John Ginley Engine 40
                  FF. Bruce Gary Engine 40
                  FF. Jimmy Giberson Ladder 35
                  FF. Michael Otten Ladder 35 *
                  FF. Steve Mercado Engine 40 *
                  FF. Kevin Bracken Engine 40 *
                  FF. Vincent Morello Ladder 35
                  FF. Michael Roberts Ladder 35 *
                  FF. Michael Lynch Engine 40
                  FF. Michael Dauria Engine 40

                  Charleston 9
                  "If my job was easy a cop would be doing it."
                  *******************CLICK HERE*****************

                  Comment


                  • October 20, 2005 -- Three Florida seniors took their time getting home from church — a full 24 hours. Alice Atwater, 72, drove pals Florence King, 86, and Ruthelle Outler, 84, about 20 miles to church from their home in Upson County. But they got lost, really lost, on the return trip and detoured through Birmingham, Ala., Atlanta and Macon, Ga.
                    ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
                    NEVER FORGET 9-11-01
                    343
                    CAPT. Frank Callahan Ladder 35 *
                    LT. John Ginley Engine 40
                    FF. Bruce Gary Engine 40
                    FF. Jimmy Giberson Ladder 35
                    FF. Michael Otten Ladder 35 *
                    FF. Steve Mercado Engine 40 *
                    FF. Kevin Bracken Engine 40 *
                    FF. Vincent Morello Ladder 35
                    FF. Michael Roberts Ladder 35 *
                    FF. Michael Lynch Engine 40
                    FF. Michael Dauria Engine 40

                    Charleston 9
                    "If my job was easy a cop would be doing it."
                    *******************CLICK HERE*****************

                    Comment


                    • October 21, 2005 -- A Boston Celtic fan got a prison term longer than prosecutors and defense attorneys had agreed to, all because of his love of Larry Bird. Lawyers in Oklahoma City had reached a plea agreement for 30 years behind bars for a man accused of shooting with intent to kill and robbery — but Eric James Torpy wanted his prison term to match Bird's jersey number, 33. "He said if he was going to go down, he was going to go down in Larry Bird's jersey," said District Judge Ray Elliott. "We accommodated his request, and he was just as happy as he could be."
                      ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
                      NEVER FORGET 9-11-01
                      343
                      CAPT. Frank Callahan Ladder 35 *
                      LT. John Ginley Engine 40
                      FF. Bruce Gary Engine 40
                      FF. Jimmy Giberson Ladder 35
                      FF. Michael Otten Ladder 35 *
                      FF. Steve Mercado Engine 40 *
                      FF. Kevin Bracken Engine 40 *
                      FF. Vincent Morello Ladder 35
                      FF. Michael Roberts Ladder 35 *
                      FF. Michael Lynch Engine 40
                      FF. Michael Dauria Engine 40

                      Charleston 9
                      "If my job was easy a cop would be doing it."
                      *******************CLICK HERE*****************

                      Comment


                      • Said only like he can. Tell it like it is, George!

                        "Been sitting here with my ***** in a wad, wanting to speak out about the bull***** going on in New Orleans. For the people of New Orleans... First we would like to say, Sorry for your loss. With that said, Let's go through a few hurricane rules: (Unlike an earthquake, we know it's coming)

                        #1. A mandatory evacuation means just that...Get the hell out. Don't blame the Government after they tell you to go. If they hadn't said anything, I can see the argument. They said get out.. if you didn't, it's your fault, not theirs. (We don't want to hear it, even if you don't have a car, you can get out.)

                        #2. If there is an emergency, stock up on water and non-perishables. If you didn't do this, it's not the Government's fault you're starving

                        #2a. If you run out of food and water, find a store that has some.(Remember, shoes, TV's, DVD's and CD's are not edible. Leave them alone.)

                        #2b. If the local store has been looted of food or water, leave your neighbor's TV and stereo alone. (See #2a) They worked hard to get their stuff. Just because they were smart enough to leave during a mandatory evacuation, doesn't give you the right to take their stuff...it's theirs, not yours.

                        #3. If someone comes in to help you, don't shoot at them and then complain no one is helping you. I'm not getting shot to help save some dumb***** who didn't leave when told to do so.

                        #4. If you are in your house that is completely under water, your belongings are probably too far gone for anyone to want them. If someone does want them, let them have them and hopefully they'll die in the filth. Just leave! (It's New Orleans, find a voodoo warrior and put a curse on them)

                        #5. My tax money should not pay to rebuild a 2 million dollar house, a sports stadium or a floating casino. Also, my tax money shouldn't go to rebuild a city that is under sea level. You wouldn't build your house on quicksand would you? You want to live below sea-level, do your country some good and join the Navy.

                        #6 Regardless of what the Poverty Pimps Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton want you to believe, The US Government didn't create the Hurricane as a way to eradicate the black people of New Orleans; (Neither did Russia as a way to destroy America). The US Government didn't cause global warming that caused the hurricane (We've been coming out of an ice age for over a million years).

                        #7. The government isn't responsible for giving you anything. This is the land of the free and the home of the brave, but you gotta work for what you want. McDonalds and Wal-Mart are always hiring, get a damn job and stop spooning off the people who are actually working for a living. President Kennedy said it best..."Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."

                        Weird But So True
                        Last edited by E40FDNYL35; 10-22-2005, 05:58 AM.
                        ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
                        NEVER FORGET 9-11-01
                        343
                        CAPT. Frank Callahan Ladder 35 *
                        LT. John Ginley Engine 40
                        FF. Bruce Gary Engine 40
                        FF. Jimmy Giberson Ladder 35
                        FF. Michael Otten Ladder 35 *
                        FF. Steve Mercado Engine 40 *
                        FF. Kevin Bracken Engine 40 *
                        FF. Vincent Morello Ladder 35
                        FF. Michael Roberts Ladder 35 *
                        FF. Michael Lynch Engine 40
                        FF. Michael Dauria Engine 40

                        Charleston 9
                        "If my job was easy a cop would be doing it."
                        *******************CLICK HERE*****************

                        Comment


                        • Sorry Ray!

                          Ever wonder why nobody ever claims to have written these things themselves instead of saying the George Carlin or Robin Williams or or or wrote/said them????!!!!

                          Funny stuff though ... even if George didn't write it.

                          http://www.snopes.com/katrina/soapbox/carlin.asp

                          Hurricane Rules


                          Claim: Comedian George Carlin wrote a list of "Hurricane Rules."

                          Status: False.

                          Example: [Collected via e-mail, 2005]

                          Been sitting here with my *** in a wad, wanting to speak out about the bull**** going on in New Orleans.

                          For the people of New Orleans... First we would like to say, Sorry for your loss.

                          With that said, Lets go through a few hurricane rules: (Unlike an earthquake, we know it's coming)

                          #1. A manditory evacuation means just that... Get the hell out. Don't blame the Government after they tell you to go. If they hadn't said anything, I can see the arguement. They said get out... if you didn't, it's your fault, not theirs. (We don't want to hear it, even if you don't have a car, you can get out.)

                          #2. If there is an emergency, stock up on water and non-perishables. If you didn't do this, it's not the governments fault you're starving.

                          #2a. If you run out of food and water, find a store that has some. (Remember, shoes, TV's, DVD's and CD's are not edible. Leave them alone.)

                          #2b. If the local store is too looted of food or water, leave your neighbor's tv and stereo alone. (See # 2a) They worked hard to get their stuff. Just because they were smart enough to leave during a manditory evacuation, doesn't give you the right to take their stuff... it's theirs, not yours.

                          #3. If someone comes in to help you, don't shoot at them and then complain no one is helping you. I'm not getting shot to help save some dumbass who didn't leave when told to do so.

                          #4. If you are in your house that is completely under water, your belongings are probably too far gone for anyone to want them. If someone does want them, Let them have them and hopefully they'll die in the filth. Just leave! (For Christ's sakes, it's New Orleans, find a voodoo warrior and put a curse on them)

                          #5. My tax money should not pay to rebuild a 2 million dollar house, a sports stadium or a floating casino. Also, my tax money shouldn't go to rebuild a city that is under sea level. You wouldn't build your house on quicksand would you? You want to live below sea-level, do your country some good and join the Navy.

                          #6. Regardless what the Poverty Pimps Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton want you to believe, The US Government didn't create the Hurricane as a way to erradicate the black people of New Orleans; (Neither did Russia as a way to destroy America). The US Government didn't cause global warming that caused the hurricane (We've been coming out of an ice age for over a million years).

                          #7. The government isn't responsible for giving you anything. This is the land of the free and the home of the brave, but you gotta work for what you want. McDonalds and Walmart are always hiring, get a damn job and stop spooning off the people who are actually working for a living.

                          President Kennedy said it best... "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."

                          Thank you for allowing me to rant.

                          Origins: This list of supposed common sense 'rules' has been attributed both to comedian George Carlin and to New Orleans blues musician Bill Boudreaux. It does not appear to be the work of either: Boudreaux's name came to be associated with the piece more than a week after it appeared, and Carlin's did not appear in association with it until October 2005. Our first sighting of the item was on the alt.vacation.las-vegas USENET newsgroup, where it appeared in a 14 September 2005 post. Even at that early date the identity of the diatribe's author had been obscured, with the poster later disclaiming having written it himself in the discussion thread sparked by his
                          offering.

                          George Carlin has disclaimed authorship of similar humor-tinged political screeds (e.g., "Paradox of Our Time," a 'things were better in the good old days' essay executed in the form of a comparison list, and "I'm a Bad American," a point-form essay advancing the cause of intolerance.) As we've discovered, just about any unsourced list of witty observations about politics and social mores will eventually become credited to him as it passes from inbox to inbox. As he has posted on his web site about such soapboxings:
                          DON'T BLAME ME

                          Floating around the Internet these days, posted and e-mailed back and forth, are a number of writings attributed to me, and I want people to know they're not mine. Don't blame me.

                          Some are essay-length, some are just short lists of one and two-line jokes, but if they're flyin' around the Internet, they're probably not mine. Occasionally, a couple of jokes on a long list might have come from me, but not often. And because most of this stuff is really lame, it's embarrassing to see my name on it.

                          And that's the problem. I want people to know that I take care with my writing, and try to keep my standards high. But most of this "humor" on the Internet is just plain stupid. I guess hard-core fans who follow my stuff closely would be able to spot the fake stuff, because the tone of voice is so different. But a casual fan has no way of knowing, and it bothers me that some people might believe I'd actually be capable of writing some of this stuff.
                          George Carlin offers this bit of wisdom: "Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it came from one of my albums, books, HBO shows, or appeared on my website."

                          Barbara "disgeorged" Mikkelson

                          Last updated: 7 October 2005
                          September 11th - Never Forget

                          I respect firefighters and emergency workers worldwide. Thank you for what you do.

                          Sheri
                          IACOJ CRUSTY CONVENTION CHAIR
                          Honorary Flatlander

                          RAY WAS HERE FIRST

                          Comment


                          • October 23, 2005 -- Alaskan pilots headed for Wasilla can scratch moose off their list of hazards now that the municipal airport has installed an electrified anti-moose mat on the runways. Seems airport workers have spent enough time chasing away the 1,000- pound animals, who have proven adept at breaching the airport's fence. "An airplane could disintegrate if it hits a moose," a public works official said.


                            Originally posted by RspctFrmCalgary
                            Carlin
                            Funny stuff though ... even if George didn't write it.
                            Now did I say George Carlin wrote that? GeorgeWendtCFI wrote that...ain't that right George W.
                            ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
                            NEVER FORGET 9-11-01
                            343
                            CAPT. Frank Callahan Ladder 35 *
                            LT. John Ginley Engine 40
                            FF. Bruce Gary Engine 40
                            FF. Jimmy Giberson Ladder 35
                            FF. Michael Otten Ladder 35 *
                            FF. Steve Mercado Engine 40 *
                            FF. Kevin Bracken Engine 40 *
                            FF. Vincent Morello Ladder 35
                            FF. Michael Roberts Ladder 35 *
                            FF. Michael Lynch Engine 40
                            FF. Michael Dauria Engine 40

                            Charleston 9
                            "If my job was easy a cop would be doing it."
                            *******************CLICK HERE*****************

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by E40FDNYL35
                              October 23, 2005 -- Alaskan pilots headed for Wasilla can scratch moose off their list of hazards now that the municipal airport has installed an electrified anti-moose mat on the runways. Seems airport workers have spent enough time chasing away the 1,000- pound animals, who have proven adept at breaching the airport's fence. "An airplane could disintegrate if it hits a moose," a public works official said.




                              Now did I say George Carlin wrote that? GeorgeWendtCFI wrote that...ain't that right George W.
                              No, you didn't say it, but the person who first wrote and posted it on the net did!
                              September 11th - Never Forget

                              I respect firefighters and emergency workers worldwide. Thank you for what you do.

                              Sheri
                              IACOJ CRUSTY CONVENTION CHAIR
                              Honorary Flatlander

                              RAY WAS HERE FIRST

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by RspctFrmCalgary
                                No, you didn't say it, but the person who first wrote and posted it on the net did!
                                Oh In that case thanks...
                                ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
                                NEVER FORGET 9-11-01
                                343
                                CAPT. Frank Callahan Ladder 35 *
                                LT. John Ginley Engine 40
                                FF. Bruce Gary Engine 40
                                FF. Jimmy Giberson Ladder 35
                                FF. Michael Otten Ladder 35 *
                                FF. Steve Mercado Engine 40 *
                                FF. Kevin Bracken Engine 40 *
                                FF. Vincent Morello Ladder 35
                                FF. Michael Roberts Ladder 35 *
                                FF. Michael Lynch Engine 40
                                FF. Michael Dauria Engine 40

                                Charleston 9
                                "If my job was easy a cop would be doing it."
                                *******************CLICK HERE*****************

                                Comment

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