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  • Originally posted by MalahatTwo7 View Post

    "This is the weirdest case I've ever seen," said police Chief Ben McBride.


    McBride said no one has reported seeing the vandal in action. The only clue is a blurry picture of him caught by a surveillance camera at the middle school last year.

    The man was 6-feet-tall or slightly taller, and slender. He had a dark complexion, and McBride said the man's dark hair was styled in a "1980s, feathered look."
    Pssst, it's the guy who keeps sliding out of his chair...
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

    Comment


    • A Darwin Award "Near-Miss"?


      Police: Man who wanted picture gets 'train rash'

      Tuesday, September 16, 2008 (09-16) 16:36 PDT Fargo, N.D. (AP) --

      Police say a man who wanted his picture taken next to a moving train suffered "train rash" but no serious injuries when he got too close to the train.

      Police Sgt. Jeff Skuza said the 34-year-old man and two friends were in Fargo for a conference. He said they went around the security gates at a train crossing so he could have his picture taken.

      Skuza said the man thought the picture would be better if he got closer to the train. But he stumbled and the train caught his back, ripping his shirt and pants. Skuza called it "a bad case of train rash." He also said alcohol was a factor.

      Police did not release the man's name. Skuza said he was treated and released from an area hospital.

      Information from: The Forum, www.in-forum.com
      If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

      "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

      "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

      Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

      impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

      IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

      Comment


      • JUMP! 25 years to the future:

        "So Jane Doe. Why did you become a Lawyer?"

        "Well Sir, Ya see, I was born on the Bench and it just kinda stuck with me."

        Fairfax County Woman Gives Birth in Courthouse

        POSTED: 9:37 am EDT September 18, 2008
        UPDATED: 10:05 am EDT September 18, 2008

        FAIRFAX, Va. -- Fairfax County officials said a woman has given birth in the hallway of the county courthouse.

        The 32-year-old Burke woman was accompanying her husband Tuesday to small claims court, where he was a plaintiff in an eviction case. Authorities said they called paramedics after the woman complained of labor pains.

        The woman, whose name was not released, was placed on a sofa in a courthouse hallway, where she gave birth to a girl.

        Copyright 2008 by The Associated Press.
        =========

        Key up Twilight Zone sound track.
        Roll tape.
        Fade in Rod Serling......

        "Consider this young man if you will. He worked hard through his high school years, with the idea of becoming....

        Stuck 'agent' tells cops of secret bomb mission

        Wednesday, September 17, 2008 (09-17) 16:26 PDT Knoxville, Tenn. (AP) --

        It wasn't the preferred way to enter the Knoxville Museum of Art, but Richard Anthony Smith told police he was on a mission. The 25-year-old Knoxville man called 911 from his cell phone before dawn Wednesday saying he was trapped in an air conditioning duct leading from the museum roof, Knoxville police spokesman Darrell DeBusk said.

        Police and firefighters reached the roof, found a rope and cable and followed them to a vent shaft. Peering inside, they spotted Smith about 45 feet down.

        "Mission failed," he told them.

        Hoisted up and read his rights, Smith told police he was a "special agent from the United States Illuminati, badge number 0931" and had rappelled onto the museum from a helicopter, a police report said.

        He said he was following orders to "defuse and confiscate" a Soviet-made nuclear warhead, specifically a "MERV6SS-22AN" warhead, according to the report. The bomb supposedly was hidden in a blue, plastic cow sculpture in the museum basement, he said.

        However, Smith told officers his "agency" called while he was in air-vent limbo to say it made a mistake and the bomb might be in a Memphis museum instead.

        Police charged Smith with aggravated robbery. He was being held on $2,000 bond at the Knox County Jail. Authorities said he did not have a lawyer.

        "Fortunately he was able to reach his cell phone," DeBusk said, "or he may not have been found for quite some time."
        Last edited by MalahatTwo7; 09-18-2008, 02:32 PM.
        If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

        "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

        "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

        Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

        impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

        IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

        Comment


        • Sounds like health code violations....


          "Illinois police arrest woman accused of bartending in the buff

          By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS


          DELHI, Ill. - Here's a tip: Bartending nude can get you arrested.

          Sheriff's deputies doing a routine check this week at a southern Illinois bar say they discovered a not-so-routine sight.

          Authorities allege that 33-year-old Janet Brannon was naked while serving bar patrons at the Cabin Tavern in Delhi.

          Brannon was arrested and charged with misdemeanour public indecency. She was freed on $8,000 bond.

          She was the only bar employee working at the time, so the tavern was closed Thursday."



          Comment


          • Originally posted by firecat1 View Post
            with misdemeanour public indecency. She was freed on $8,000 bond.
            $8000 bond for a misdemeanour? I doubt she would even have been arrested here, would probably have been charged on summons!
            "Professional" means your attitude to the job...

            Nullus Anxietas ..... (T Pratchett)

            Comment


            • Ok, who called the cops?
              I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

              Comment


              • I will agree with the statements about soap operas, but I have to draw a definative line regarding Mickey Mouse. He is as much "Apple Pie" to folks older than 35 as apple pie is to the entire continent.

                Saudi Cleric Places Fatwa on Mickey Mouse

                By Steve Fritz posted: 2008-09-22 05:50:00 ETBuzz up! del.icio.us

                In a story that’s so weird his has to be considered true, a leading Saudi Arabian cleric has declared Mickey Mouse to be an “agent of Satan.” As such, he has put a fatwa, or death sentence , on the Mouse’s head.

                According to the London Telegraph Sheik Muhammad Munajid claimed the mouse is "one of Satan's soldiers" and makes everything it touches impure. He warned that depictions of the creature in cartoons such as Tom and Jerry, and Disney's Mickey Mouse, had taught children that it was in fact loveable. The cleric, a former diplomat at the Saudi embassy in Washington DC, said that under Sharia (Islamic law), both household mice and their cartoon counterparts must be killed.

                Not that Mickey’s alone in the condemnation department. During the Moslem holy month of Ramadan, Saudi Arabia’s chief cleric, Sheikh Saleh el-Lheidan, has also spat venom at the Olympics and Turkish soap operas. He declared the international sporting event “obscene” and claiming that nothing made Satan happier than seeing females athletes dressed in skimpy outfits. As for the soaps, he has issues with various bedroom scenes.

                “I advise the owners of the shameless satellite stations who distribute programs promoting impudence, insolence and silly humor,” said el-Lheidan. “I warn them, they’re wasting people’s time and corrupting them. If they don’t heed our call, their killing could be permissible.”

                According to CNN, viewers across the Arab world are absorbing it all in; unaware, or uncaring about the edict controversy.

                This is not the first time the Mouse has come into conflict with the Muslim world. A few years back, the Palestinian political group Hamas used an almost exact duplicate of the Mickey, named Farfour, as a sort of host of its own TV show. From this pulpit it used to preach death and destruction to its audience, young Palestinian children.

                In 2007, the character was also “murdered” on air. A co-host of the show declared Farfour was killed by an actor posing as an Israeli official trying to buy Farfour's land. At one point, the mouse called the Israeli a "terrorist."

                "Farfour was martyred while defending his land," said Sara, a teen co-star. He was killed "by the killers of children," she added.
                If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

                "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

                "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

                Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

                impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

                IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

                Comment


                • Kind of a serious post, but thought provoking in its nature, due to the wide variances of persons awarded.

                  Who Are This Year's 'Geniuses?' Katrina Doc, Bridge Expert Among MacArthur 'Genius' Winners

                  POSTED: 2:45 am EDT September 23, 2008
                  UPDATED: 2:49 am EDT September 23, 2008

                  CHICAGO -- A violin virtuoso, an architectural historian who studies ancient bridges and a family physician who rebuilt an Alabama health clinic after it was destroyed by Hurricane Katrina are among 25 recipients of this year's MacArthur Foundation "genius grants."

                  The $500,000 fellowships were announced Tuesday by the Chicago-based John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation. Recipients may use the money however they wish.

                  Dr. Regina Benjamin said the money will help rebuild her rural health clinic in Bayou La Batre, Ala., which serves 4,400 patients. It was rebuilt by volunteers after being destroyed by Katrina, only to burn down months later. {"So I built another castle. That one burned to the ground, then fell into the swamp. BUT this one. The third one held." }

                  "The patients came by and they were crying," said Benjamin, 51, remembering one woman who handed her an envelope with a $7 donation to rebuild. The new clinic is about half built, she said.

                  "If she can find $7, I can figure out the rest," Benjamin said. "The patients I treat have their own disasters. Hopefully this grant will help them in some way. It will be as much theirs as it is mine."

                  John Ochsendorf, a West Virginia native and an associate professor of architecture at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Cambridge, Mass., said he at first didn't believe the news that he'd received a grant.

                  "I had to sit down. I had tears running down my face. I had a hard time breathing," Ochsendorf said. "It changes everything. This is validation."

                  Ochsendorf, 34, uses engineering and architecture to explain the ancient world. His research team studies Incan suspension bridges that cross gorges of the Andes Mountains.

                  The MacArthur Foundation names the fellows, who are recommended to the foundation's board by a 12-member selection committee.

                  Jonathan Fanton, president of the MacArthur Foundation, said he makes several calls a year to recipients -- including at least four this year -- and winners are usually shocked.

                  "Generally, there's a pause and expressions of disbelief," he said. "I've had people drop the phone or say they need a minute because they feel weak."

                  Seven previous MacArthur grant recipients went on to receive Nobel prizes, Fanton said.

                  "Giving support to exceptionally talented people allows them to develop their talents, and society is better for the work they do," Fanton said.

                  Other winners of this year's fellowships include an inventor of musical instruments, an urban farmer, a saxophonist, a stage lighting designer, an astronomer who studies the geometry of the universe, a novelist who writes about ethnic conflict and a critical-care physician who studies how to avoid human error in clinical practices.

                  Daniel Socolow, who directs the MacArthur Fellows program, said the foundation looks more at recipients' future promise than their past performance.

                  "It's not a particular thing they've done, it's a sense of the person," Socolow said. "There's something unusual about this person. These people have a distinctively creative approach to the field they're working in."

                  One of this year's recipients is Leila Josefowicz, 30, a solo violinist based in New York who travels the world performing with orchestras and conductors. The native Canadian made her Carnegie Hall debut at age 16 and said she finds excitement in playing pieces from modern composers.

                  "If I'm not worried about playing the circuit just for financial reasons, this can give me a buffer," Josefowicz said. "I'll spend more time studying and listening out there and choosing the composer I want to work with. I'm so grateful to work with composers to bring more concertos to the violin repertoire."

                  Kirsten Bomblies, 34, a plant evolutionary geneticist in Tubingen, Germany, said the money will allow her to expand her research.

                  "Maybe try to explore some slightly riskier options that maybe I otherwise wouldn't be able to get funding for," said Bomblies, originally from Castle Rock, Colo. "We rarely have that opportunity. I think I might write a book at the end of it all, a scientific book ... just to get some of the ideas that we have on paper."

                  Rachel Wilson, a 34-year-old neurobiologist at Harvard Medical School, said her grant will help pay for experiments she might not otherwise have been able to afford. Wilson studies electrical activity in the brain, and her findings may affect treatments for Parkinson's disease and deafness.

                  "As scientists we're kind of trained to try to keep ideas in pace with funding," she said. "It's difficult to think about experiments that aren't in your price range, so to speak, and maybe that crushes the creative process."

                  Copyright 2008 by The Associated Press.
                  If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

                  "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

                  "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

                  Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

                  impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

                  IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

                  Comment


                  • Man Goes to Court After Butt Stapled Shut. Patient claims he couldn't defecate for 17 days

                    POSTED: 12:21 pm EDT September 23, 2008
                    UPDATED: 12:36 pm EDT September 23, 2008

                    BALTIMORE -- A West Virginia man is suing a Frederick County, Md., doctor for allegedly stapling his rectum shut during an operation, preventing the patient from defecating for 17 days, The Baltimore Examiner reported.

                    The mistake allegedly took place when Ronald Watkins, 64, had surgery for a rectal tumor, according to his lawsuit.

                    Dr. Manuel Casiano's lawyer said Watkins' bowels merely became "swollen shut," The Baltimore Examiner reported.

                    Since the surgery, Watkins experiences "rectal discharge" and must wipe 12 to 15 times a day, and he has had other procedures that otherwise would have been unnecessary, according to his attorneys.

                    The defense said Watkins' smoking two packs a day contributed to his bowel problems, The Baltimore Examiner reported.

                    Copyright 2008 by nbc4.com.
                    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

                    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

                    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

                    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

                    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

                    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

                    Comment


                    • Almost posted this as a "stand-alone"

                      PETA Urges Ben & Jerry's To Use Human Milk

                      POSTED: 2:21 pm EDT September 23, 2008
                      UPDATED: 10:28 pm EDT September 23, 2008

                      VERMONT -- People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc., urging them to replace cow's milk they use in their ice cream products with human breast milk, according to a statement recently released by a PETA spokeswoman.

                      "PETA's request comes in the wake of news reports that a Swiss restaurant owner will begin purchasing breast milk from nursing mothers and substituting breast milk for 75 percent of the cow's milk in the food he serves," the statement says.

                      PETA officials say a move to human breast milk would lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies on factory farms and benefit human health.

                      "The fact that human adults consume huge quantities of dairy products made from milk that was meant for a baby cow just doesn't make sense," says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman. "Everyone knows that 'the breast is best,' so Ben & Jerry's could do consumers and cows a big favor by making the switch to breast milk."

                      In a statement Ben and Jerry's said, "We applaud PETA's novel approach to bringing attention to an issue, but we believe a mother's milk is best used for her child."

                      Read PETA's letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield

                      September 23, 2008

                      Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, Cofounders

                      Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc.

                      Dear Mr. Cohen and Mr. Greenfield,

                      On behalf of PETA and our more than 2 million members and supporters, I'd like to bring your attention to an innovative new idea from Switzerland that would bring a unique twist to Ben and Jerry's.

                      Storchen restaurant is set to unveil a menu that includes soups, stews, and sauces made with at least 75 percent breast milk procured from human donors who are paid in exchange for their milk. If Ben and Jerry's replaced the cow's milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers-and cows-would reap the benefits.

                      Using cow's milk for your ice cream is a hazard to your customer's health. Dairy products have been linked to juvenile diabetes, allergies, constipation, obesity, and prostate and ovarian cancer. The late Dr. Benjamin Spock, America's leading authority on child care, spoke out against feeding cow's milk to children, saying it may play a role in anemia, allergies, and juvenile diabetes and in the long term, will set kids up for obesity and heart disease-America's number one cause of death.

                      Animals will also benefit from the switch to breast milk. Like all mammals, cows only produce milk during and after pregnancy, so to be able to constantly milk them, cows are forcefully impregnated every nine months. After several years of living in filthy conditions and being forced to produce 10 times more milk than they would naturally, their exhausted bodies are turned into hamburgers or ground up for soup.

                      And of course, the veal industry could not survive without the dairy industry. Because male calves can't produce milk, dairy farmers take them from their mothers immediately after birth and sell them to veal farms, where they endure 14 to 17 weeks of torment chained inside a crate so small that they can't even turn around.

                      The breast is best! Won't you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow's milk to breast milk in Ben and Jerry's ice cream? Thank you for your consideration.

                      Sincerely,

                      Tracy Reiman

                      Executive Vice President

                      Distributed by Internet Broadcasting


                      So I guess stealing milk from a human baby is better?
                      If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

                      "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

                      "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

                      Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

                      impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

                      IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

                      Comment


                      • All I can say is YUCK!

                        Comment


                        • Err... Ummm.. OK.

                          Drunk driving suspect thanks officers after stop

                          Tuesday, September 23, 2008 (09-23) 16:47 PDT Plymouth, Wis. (AP) --

                          Instead of having a hostile reaction, a driver offered his thanks when officers pulled him over on suspicion of drunken driving for a fifth time.

                          A criminal complaint quoted 52-year-old David Hyland of Plymouth as saying, "Thank you very much for everything you've done for me" after he was stopped early last Friday.

                          The complaint says he added, "I shouldn't have been driving and deserve to get caught."

                          According to the complaint filed in Sheboygan County Circuit Court, a Plymouth police officer saw Hyland's vehicle weaving and pulled him over.

                          After he failed field sobriety tests and registered a blood-alcohol level of 0.14 percent, or over the limit of 0.08 percent, he told officers he knew he had been drinking too much to drive.

                          The felony charge carries up to three years in prison.

                          Information from: The Sheboygan Press, www.sheboygan-press.com


                          Also, not sure what a "criminal complaint" is. Who "complained"? Or is this just legalese wording for "charges pending"?
                          If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

                          "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

                          "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

                          Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

                          impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

                          IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

                          Comment


                          • Ummm. Ok.

                            If real life gets up your nose, blame perfume. Sex, death and war put in a bottle, with treason and ex-virgin's regret

                            Misty Harris, Canwest News Service Published: Thursday, September 25, 2008

                            Sex, death, betrayal, war -- even the precise scent of certain neighbourhoods and fictional characters -- are being sold by the ounce for customers demanding more from their cologne than celebrity endorsements.

                            Called "narrative perfume" by industry insiders, these cutting-edge fragrances aren't necessarily about smelling pleasant but rather smelling like a specific time, place or experience.

                            A perfume at Holt Renfrew called Secretions Magnifique is billed as "an olfactory coitus" due to its notes of bodily fluids, while a scent called Soldat Inconnu aims to replicate the smell of battle that sticks to a soldier's skin. There's even a fragrance that reproduces the exact aroma of a first edition of perfumer Christopher Brosius's favourite novel, which is said to suggest leather bindings, worn cloth and wood polish.

                            Not only are these narrative perfumes changing the way Canadians think about fragrance, experts say their potential for interactive marketing could change the face -- or rather nose -- of contemporary advertising.

                            "When you're trying to influence someone, you want to hit them on as many perceptive neuro-pathways as you can," {sounds like something from Star Trek LOL} says Lindsay Meredith, professor of marketing at Simon Fraser University in B.C. "Imagine seeing your favourite actress splashing on (a fragrance) because she wants to be more seductive or attractive, and by the way, here's a scent strip so you can experience what she actually smells like."

                            This concept was used in special screenings of the 2006 movie Perfume, during which the audience was given scent blotters to sample at specific moments in the film. A street scene in 18th century France, for example, was accompanied by a scent strip carrying the aroma of urine and greasy hair.

                            "This could be very powerful advertising," says Meredith, though he remains skeptical that the "G.I. Joe" scent of Soldat Inconnu is going to have army wannabes lining up.

                            But eau de war is just the beginning.

                            Bond No. 9 uses different fragrance blends to recreate the experience of walking though New York's storied neighbourhoods. Olfactory narratives woven by Etat Libre D'Orange includes that of a hotel hooker (Putain des Palaces), a Judas-like traitor (Eloge du Traitre), and a young woman who regrets having just lost her innocence (Messe Rose).

                            By Kilian offers a veritable orgy in a bottle. Les Liaisons Dangereuses is described as smelling of "bodies slick with sweat, hot with odours of sexual favours."

                            And Black Phoenix Alchemy uses fragrance to evoke literary characters such as Alice in Wonderland's Caterpillar, whose eponymous perfume smells of heavy incense and jasmine layered over "a lush bed of dark mosses."

                            Marian Bendeth, a global fragrance expert with Toronto-based Sixth Scents, says it's all part of the "lightning hot" niche trend. "They're appealing to people who don't want to smell like a teenager," she says. "If it's exclusive, hard to find, if it's different, they want it."

                            Stripped of their stories, which Bendeth explains as branding tools, most of these unusual offerings can be quite pleasing. The controversial Secretions Magnifique, for instance, is described by the fragrance maven as "stunning."

                            Juel Mahoney in London, England, by contrast, says she was "traumatized" by the same perfume, whose notes of blood and sweat instantly evoked memories of a friend being hit by a car nine years ago.

                            "Smell is the most primitive sense there is, and apparently it's close to memory in the brain," says Mahoney, whose brief encounter with Secretions in a department store made her relive the confusion and panic of the accident.

                            "I couldn't get it off me fast enough."

                            © Times Colonist (Victoria) 2008
                            If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

                            "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

                            "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

                            Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

                            impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

                            IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

                            Comment


                            • Imagine a politician wearing something like "Eau de I Smell A Rat".

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by firecat1 View Post
                                Imagine a politician wearing something like "Eau de I Smell A Rat".
                                I always thought it was Essance du Polcat.
                                If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

                                "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

                                "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

                                Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

                                impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

                                IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

                                Comment

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