Not sure if this is the right forum "box" or not, but WWYD...

[MrFreeze]

This technically isn't off-duty discussion, since I was on-duty...

What would you do? Guy comes in to the firehouse that happens to work a different shift. Drunk. Don't know why he came by, but he wasn't with his wife, unless she dyed her hair and lost some weight if you know what I mean. What he was thinking by coming by the place where, let's be honest, we gossip like women sewing a quilt, I don't know. He is out partying. Wife and kids are at home. I feel like he has put those of us that saw him in a bit of a pickle. He is a "brother", but I have a REAL brother, and if I ever saw him doing some crap like that to the MOTHER OF HIS ****ING CHILDREN, I'd whoop his *** after I told him to tell her or I would. But this guy is just a co-worker. One I thought I respected. Similar kinda deal happened to a friend of mine; he found out the best man he'd picked for his wedding was cheating on his wife and kid. By then it was too late to ****can him, but he was still faced with do I tell her? Do I tell my wife and just let it drift to her? Do I whoop his ***? Do I tell him to tell her? I thought I knew what I would do, you know how people always say well if I were you...Well now I'm kinda like him.

What would you do?

[LadyCapn]

Do you know for a fact that this was a "pick up", or was she driving him home and he asked to stop in (hope to god he wasn't driving in this condition)
Until you know all the facts I wouldn't be so quick to think about running to someones spouse with infidelity stories.....trust me........been there (someone went to my ex with stories of me and a good friend).


Personally I'd say keep out of it, it's none of your business and to quote the good ol book, "Be careful how you judge yet ye be judged" (Okay not exact but I'm not exactly a thumper) Things change when your own situation changes and you may find yourself in the same boat some day.
Let your co-worker know you are available to talk if he wishes and listen if he chooses to talk. Other than that MYOB would be my advice.

[MalahatTwo7]

Hmmmm interesting situation/problem. And unfortunately one that I am more than just a little familiar with (at the "receiving" end.)

I guess, first as LadyCapn said... maybe try to approach this guy and just let him know that you all have been put into a very uncomfortable position, and that you are available, if he needs to talk.

From that conversation, you will be able to make a better determination of what actions you want to take. As I say, I have been the receiver of that sort of news before, the only "good" (if you can call it "good") thing about is that she (it has happened x2 in my life now) told me first.

Either way, its a very unhappy place to be, and I do not envy you for that. I wish you well.

[MrFreeze]

It wasn't innocent...

He was with another ff (single) and some chicks, all drunk. I found this all out from one of the other gents standing with me when he came by: He gets phone calls, from a girl from a trip to Lost Wages taken last fall, on his cell. Most of the off-time on a trip to DC for the FF memorial deal last Oct was it? was spent carousing in strip bars, not just by him.

And as far as the judge deal: I can see your point. However, I don't like even being alone with anyone other than my wife, just to avoid the rumor mill. Because even if it is totally on the up and up, it gets bent. It is just easier to watch where you are and who you are with. This wasn't on the up and up. And you're right about whether or not he wants to screw up his marriage and ruin his kids' lives is my business. But I feel like it became my business when he brought it to what is essentially MY HOUSE! And then has the audacity to ask one of the guys that was out there what the rest of us were saying about the situation. WTF do you think we're saying, you know?