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  • #16
    Ev'rybody knows that smokin' ain't allowed in school.

    Originally posted by hwoods View Post
    Doug........ Good ones. "Hot Pockets" reminds me of "Willy" in the 8th Grade. Willy was having a quick Smoke in the Boy's room when a Teacher came in. Without Thinking (Something most 8th graders were good at) he stuck the Cigarette in his Pocket. STILL LIT. Sure looked odd going down the hall toward the office with Smoking Levi's...........

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    • #17
      Originally posted by MarcusKspn View Post
      Reminds me of the time I took care of an older lady who had her bra stuffed and her breasts tucked into her pants...
      Well... some of us WERE eating lunch....
      If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

      "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

      "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

      Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

      impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

      IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by PaladinKnight View Post
        Does anyone remember the good old days?
        You mean when kids would roll on the ground fighting for a few minutes, then get up and go back to playing? Rather than pulling knivies or guns?

        When you could have a peaceful day, because you did not have a darn cell phone ringing every 5 minutes?

        How about a car you could work on, and when it was running cost 65ยข a gallon to fuel?

        Or, my faorite, when you jumped off the engine AND PUT THE DAMN FIRE OUT!

        Yep, those days are gone.

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        • #19
          Worth bumping again.

          Originally posted by firecat1 View Post
          1. The nicest thing about the future is . . . that it always starts tomorrow.{doncha love procrastination?}

          2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

          3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all. {*wild cheering with agreement!*}

          4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

          5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.{shouldn't that be 'keep your mouth shut BEFORE you get in deep water'?}

          6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

          7. Business conventions are important . . . because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

          8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

          9. Pet a cat . . . and you will have a permanent job.

          10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.

          11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

          12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. - like, it could be the right number.

          13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

          14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap. {I resemble that remark.}

          15. Be careful about reading the fine print. . . . There's no way you're going to like it.

          16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

          17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)

          18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Yugo.

          19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're probably dead.
          {Personally, I think that should read "after 45"}

          20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind . . . . and the ones that mind don't matter. {[email protected] skippy!!!}

          21. Life isn't tied with a bow . . . . . . . but it's still a gift.
          {what's that saying about looking a gift horse in the mouth?}

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