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You have to be Canadian to understand......

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  • You have to be Canadian to understand......

    Now these are rules that I can say AMEN TO THAT!!!!!

    The following is the OFFICIAL RULES OF ENGAGEMENT for Tim Horton's. Please feel free to pass them along so that we can make the world a better place.

    1) When you enter a Tim Hortons and see a line to one side of the restaurant that DOES

    NOT mean that you can start another line on the other side.

    PENALTY: TOO MANY LINES. People guilty of this infraction must buy coffee everyone in

    the original line.

    2) If you cannot see the donut you want available in the display you CANNOT ask for it

    since the server will then go into the back and eventually return and tell you that - guess what - they don't have it!

    PENALTY: DELAY OF GAME. People guilty of this infraction must return to the end of the line.

    3) The Drive-Thru is for ordering coffee and donuts ONLY. If you need to order a sandwich or soup get out of your car and go inside you lazy slob! It takes too long and they'll probably get your order wrong anyway so save some greenhouse emissions and remember - NO ORDERING FOOD FROM THE DRIVE-THRU!

    PENALTY: OVER ORDERING. People guilty of this infraction will have their tires deflated on the spot.

    4) Cleaning of the Hot Chocolate and Flavoured Coffee machines is FORBIDDEN during times where there are actually customers in the store. What kind of business takes a product off-line in the middle of the day?!

    PENALTY: UNNECESSARY CLEANLINESS. Staff guilty of this infraction will be forced to eat hot, spicy food, then placed in restraints just out of the reach of a nice cool glass of water for an hour.

    5) Placing the lids on the "to-go" cups so that the drink opening lines up with the crease in the cup is a crime against humanity since it has the same effect as gag dribble-cups. Plus, exactly how hard is it to miss that crease when placing the lid on anyway? Yet it seems to happen more than 50% of the time.

    PENALTY: ILLEGAL LID ON THE CREASE. Staff guilty of this must floss with barbed wire for a week.

    6) Franchise owners who open up a store with a Drive-Thru that can't handle at least ten cars in line are a traffic menace. Caffeine addiction is a scary thing that will cause people to stop dead on busy streets just to keep a position in line at the Drive-Thru.

    PENALTY: INTERFERENCE. Owners guilty of this infraction will be forced to order

    their meals via the empty Wendy's Drive-Thru next door for a month.

    7) Going on a coffee run to Tim's for five or more people is a non-starter. First, you'll never remember what everyone ordered correctly. Second, you don't have a hope in hell of carrying that stuff back out to your car. Finally, it will take too long!!! That nice person behind you in line was under the impression that you were just going to order your coffee and go. BUT NO, you have to take 5-10 minutes of our lives while you botch the order then juggle the cups back to your vehicle. Get some backbone - force others to come with you. No more than two orders per person thank you!

    PENALTY: OVER TWO MINUTE WARNING. People guilty of this infraction will be forced

    to drink ALL of the coffee they have ordered and eat ALL the food. Doing this same

    infraction via the Drive-Thru = public flogging.

    8) During Roll-Up-The-Rim-To-Win time all cups left unattended and unrolled for more than one minute are free game to anyone else. Since we know that all the really good prizes are only meant for people in Ontario we've only got a limited shot at anything decent so watch your cups!

    PENALTY: INELIGIBLE ROLLER. People guilty of this infraction must forfeit any prizes won past or present to the new roller.

    9) Staff who fail to recognize that you are a creature of habit and order the same thing every day for over a year at the same Tim Horton's and still meet you with blank stares and an indifferent "What can I get you?" are inflicting an inhuman mental torture. Isn't that what the commercials are all about? Where are the smiles and a hearty "The usual, Bob?"

    PENALTY: INCOMPLETE RECOGNITION. Staff guilty of this infraction must be subjected

    to proof of identity and a strip search every time they try to pick up their pay cheque.

    ..and the final rule of engagement.

    10) Showing up at your son/daughter's hockey game with a coffee from another outlet other

    than Tim Horton's is FORBIDDEN! What are you - some kind of troublemaker? Don't you

    know the way we do things around here? PENALTY: ILLEGAL COFFEE. People guilty of this

    must clean the ice with their tongues between periods.

  • #2

    September 11th - Never Forget

    I respect firefighters and emergency workers worldwide. Thank you for what you do.

    Honorary Flatlander



    • #3
      11) If you frequent the same Tim Hortons more than three times weekly, they must not "run out" of your favorite flavour of dougnuts on more than two consecutive occasions (based on standard doughnut flavors).

      PENALTY: INADEQUATE DOUGHNUT SELECTION. The customer will receive a free year's supply of the doughnut of his choice.
      Never argue with an Idiot. They drag you down to their level, and then beat you with experience!



      • #4
        Dunkin Donuts

        Hello Canada

        LOL If these rules were followed at Dunkins, a lot of penalties would be served. We don't have Hortons down here, but 2 Dunkins in town are usually completely out of donuts of any kind by 5 pm. It's a shame I tell ya.
        There goes the neighborhood.


        • #5
          Only in Canada you say.......Pitty!
          Dave Burn
          (EMT-P Student)
          Effort only fully releases it's reward on someone who refuses to quit!


          • #6
            Not just a Canuck thing........ We have Tim Hortons all over in this area.......
            The comments made by me are my opinions only. They DO NOT reflect the opinions of my employer(s). If you have an issue with something I may say, take it up with me, either by posting in the forums, emailing me through my profile, or PMing me through my profile.
            We are all adults so there is no need to act like a child........


            • #7
              I must be the only one in this country doesn't like Tims
              A'int No Rocket Scientist's in The Firehall


              • #8
                Hahaha thanks for the rules!


                • #9
                  LOL..That was great..First Off during the hockey season I make Tim Hortons runs during the intermissions for 7 people and remember them all so.. ..As for my roll up the rim cups...I am convinced they have a seperate pile of cups with my name on it...I've won and Donut and I can even begin to think how many coffees I've drank....Probably 4 or 5 a day, every day since its started...(This is also the same during non roll up the rim)...And it wasn't even in my own Tim's that I won it...

                  And they always know my coffee.. ..Large Double Double baby
                  If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?



                  • #10
                    I don't agree with #7. It's about 35 km from our hall to the nearest Tango Hotel. Anybody who shows up with a Tim's cup better have one for everybody on duty. Usually it's six or seven XL Triple TRriple!
                    I.A.C.O.J. - Getting crustier every day


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by ndvfdff33
                      And they always know my coffee.. ..Large Double Double baby
                      I was down in the US a while back, and walked into the local doughnut/coffee franchise. I asked for a Double Double, and I got a blank look from both girls behind the counter.

                      It took me five minutes to explain the concept to them.
                      Never argue with an Idiot. They drag you down to their level, and then beat you with experience!



                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Smoke20286
                        I must be the only one in this country doesn't like Tims
                        No, your buddy Jean Chretien doesn't like Tim's either. It seems they didn't donate to the Liberal party, didn't receive any money from the sponsorship scandal and wouldn't open a franchise at the Auberge Grande-mere.

                        He also had trouble pronouncing Tim-Bits and is really upset that they don't serve poutine.


                        • #13
                          But on the bright side Tim's legacy will last longer than Uncle Jean's.....LMAO
                          Dave Burn
                          (EMT-P Student)
                          Effort only fully releases it's reward on someone who refuses to quit!


                          • #14
                            I hope you're right dburnemti, I really do


                            • #15
                              As per rule #7, I agree with georlow. We're too far away to take a buddy, and I can carry two of those cardboard drink holders to my car. I promise not to botch the order. We all take ours XL triple triple!


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