As I sat in my psychology class, I had no idea that world events were playing out dramatically on the news. I had no idea...
I found out that we were under attack as I went back to my dorm, and found my RD posting counseling meeting flyers. Confused, I went up the unusually quiet dorm and into my room.
I will never forget the first words somebody said to me " We are under attack."
To this day, anytime I think back to those days, or anytime I see images or hear sounds or anything of the sort, I get a full body chill. And I think: What could I have done?
At the time, I was not a member of a department, nor was I an EMT. I was just a Fire Science student.
As I sit and think back on that day, I am consumed with a feeling of... guilt? I should have gone to help. I had friends who went. Who had gear, or scrounged, hopped onto a bus or train, and went into the city to help. To this day, I am regretful I did not go. I feel as though I chickended out. Though I know now, in retrospect, that there was almost nothing anyone could have done for the firefighters, police, and civilians in those buildings, I can't stop myself from thinking: Did I miss an oppurtunity to change a life? If I had gone, who knows. I may have been able to do something. Even if that something was only sit with a stranger and console them, or hold someone's hands as they cried out to heaven.
I understand that in the future, when I am a full carrear firefighter ( volly now, as well as EMT), I will have more oppurtunities than I would like to console people, or to try and save lives.
This is the primary question I want to pose to the people whom share this site with me: Why do I feel guilty about not going and helping? Should I? Please, help.
Your Brother forever,
++++
I found out that we were under attack as I went back to my dorm, and found my RD posting counseling meeting flyers. Confused, I went up the unusually quiet dorm and into my room.
I will never forget the first words somebody said to me " We are under attack."
To this day, anytime I think back to those days, or anytime I see images or hear sounds or anything of the sort, I get a full body chill. And I think: What could I have done?
At the time, I was not a member of a department, nor was I an EMT. I was just a Fire Science student.
As I sit and think back on that day, I am consumed with a feeling of... guilt? I should have gone to help. I had friends who went. Who had gear, or scrounged, hopped onto a bus or train, and went into the city to help. To this day, I am regretful I did not go. I feel as though I chickended out. Though I know now, in retrospect, that there was almost nothing anyone could have done for the firefighters, police, and civilians in those buildings, I can't stop myself from thinking: Did I miss an oppurtunity to change a life? If I had gone, who knows. I may have been able to do something. Even if that something was only sit with a stranger and console them, or hold someone's hands as they cried out to heaven.
I understand that in the future, when I am a full carrear firefighter ( volly now, as well as EMT), I will have more oppurtunities than I would like to console people, or to try and save lives.
This is the primary question I want to pose to the people whom share this site with me: Why do I feel guilty about not going and helping? Should I? Please, help.
Your Brother forever,
++++
Comment