The Worst Day

[SkipJack270]

As I sat in my psychology class, I had no idea that world events were playing out dramatically on the news. I had no idea...
I found out that we were under attack as I went back to my dorm, and found my RD posting counseling meeting flyers. Confused, I went up the unusually quiet dorm and into my room.
I will never forget the first words somebody said to me " We are under attack."
To this day, anytime I think back to those days, or anytime I see images or hear sounds or anything of the sort, I get a full body chill. And I think: What could I have done?
At the time, I was not a member of a department, nor was I an EMT. I was just a Fire Science student.
As I sit and think back on that day, I am consumed with a feeling of... guilt? I should have gone to help. I had friends who went. Who had gear, or scrounged, hopped onto a bus or train, and went into the city to help. To this day, I am regretful I did not go. I feel as though I chickended out. Though I know now, in retrospect, that there was almost nothing anyone could have done for the firefighters, police, and civilians in those buildings, I can't stop myself from thinking: Did I miss an oppurtunity to change a life? If I had gone, who knows. I may have been able to do something. Even if that something was only sit with a stranger and console them, or hold someone's hands as they cried out to heaven.
I understand that in the future, when I am a full carrear firefighter ( volly now, as well as EMT), I will have more oppurtunities than I would like to console people, or to try and save lives.
This is the primary question I want to pose to the people whom share this site with me: Why do I feel guilty about not going and helping? Should I? Please, help.
Your Brother forever,
++++

[Ohiovolffemtp]

It was best that you didn't go to the WTC

Skipjack,
It was best that you didn't go to the WTC. One of the keys to managing a large incident is keeping it well organized. That means that command has to be in control of what people are on the scene and what they are doing. FDNY had way more people respond than they could use and had to divert some of their resources to manage all of the unsolicited help.

Yes, some of the folks who swarmed the scen e in the first hours helped, but most of the unrequested responders were turned away - as they should have been.

It is all of our responsibilities to stay with our departments and respond as requested. You did that - and that was the correct thing.

[NJFFSA16]

SkipJack270

I will echo what Ohiovolffemtp has stated. In the initial hours following the attack, many volunteers went to the scene at Ground Zero and were put to work. Urban Search and Rescue units were summoned. As things became organized, mutual aid from neighboring New York and New Jersey was requested. Departments from Nassau, Suffolk, Rockland, Putnam, Westchester and Dutchess counties of New York, along with departments from Bergen, Morris, Passaic, Essex, Union, Hudson, Middlesex, and Somerset counties in New Jersey were dispatched to staging areas in lower Manhattan. Others went to staging at Shea Stadium, Giants Stadium and Liberty State Park. The response was so overwhelming...many never got anywhere near Ground Zero. There were truckloads of food, water, rescue tools, lighting equipment....tons and tons of gear and equipment....that quickly filled the staging areas. Members of the National Incident Management Teams were assigned and began to oversee the day to day operations taking place. ID cards were issued...and STRICTLY enforced. Many freelancers and civilian volunteers were turned away.

Your heart was...and still is, in the right place.