I have been a volunteer firefigher for almost a year now. Before that I was a explorer for a year. I can't remember why I chose to become a firefighter/EMT, but I knew that I really like the work. It was exciting, and fulfilling. Firefighters have a great work schedule and everyone that I worked with was really encouraging. Then September 11 occured and it just seemed like the right thing to pursue.
Now I am not so sure. I struggle to make it to my pre-assigned shifts, ones that I signed up for. I question constantly my choice to become a firefighter. I have trouble asking questions and I feel stupid for not knowing the answers to problems that seem common sense.
I have always been one to push my limits.. to see how far I can make it. Yet, more and more I keep making excuses for my behavior. For example, I am constantly reminded of individuals that hindered my success in the process of becoming a firefighter. These people would always belittle me or try to stop me from being a firefighter. I know use this as an excuse to not become a firefighter.
The thing is..I like what I do. :P Its hard, and it pushes me were I never thought I could go. In the end its worth it, although getting there is tough.
Nonetheless, I feel like I am at a barrier wall of bricks. I want to ask for help, but I don't know where to start. I can't seem to formulate that first question that will express my thoughts to get the ball rolling. And I don't know who to ask.
If you have any suggestions, please help me out. I apologize for babbling. I thank you for your time and patience. Just writing this seems to help.
Now I am not so sure. I struggle to make it to my pre-assigned shifts, ones that I signed up for. I question constantly my choice to become a firefighter. I have trouble asking questions and I feel stupid for not knowing the answers to problems that seem common sense.
I have always been one to push my limits.. to see how far I can make it. Yet, more and more I keep making excuses for my behavior. For example, I am constantly reminded of individuals that hindered my success in the process of becoming a firefighter. These people would always belittle me or try to stop me from being a firefighter. I know use this as an excuse to not become a firefighter.
The thing is..I like what I do. :P Its hard, and it pushes me were I never thought I could go. In the end its worth it, although getting there is tough.
Nonetheless, I feel like I am at a barrier wall of bricks. I want to ask for help, but I don't know where to start. I can't seem to formulate that first question that will express my thoughts to get the ball rolling. And I don't know who to ask.
If you have any suggestions, please help me out. I apologize for babbling. I thank you for your time and patience. Just writing this seems to help.
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