Practicle jokes

[Firemedic 61]

O.K. we all know that no one is safe once they
walk into the fire station. Admit it, playing practicle jokes on each other usually takes up some part of your shift. We've all done it and have had some played on us. What are your favorite and most memorable jokes. Lets see who has the best!

[Dalmatian90]

Hehehe...

About a year ago, the door handle to my truck got "K-Y'd." I warned Mike that revenge would come for that slippery experience.

Saturday night Mike went on an ambulance call.

Afterwards, he went to leave. Upon turning on his truck, the defrosters, fan set to high, blew out the entire contents of the "chad catcher" from the station's three hole paper punch...

"Not everyday you get you own ticker tape parade, huh Mike?" as he sat there, chats floating down...

[SmokeJockey]

The best fire house p/j's are those tht really get someone wriled up w/o a lot of work. One night we were sitting around just b.s.-ing and this one guy, hadn't been with us long, but had been a FF for a while, stated that he could run circles around us (the young guys as he put it) on a fire scene. Well, as you can guess that didn't go over too well at all. So as he went to bed we headed to the gear rack. Once there we filled his boots with shaving creme in the toe(so he wouldn't detect it). But wait there's more! We also switched the boots around!! As luck would have it we got a 10-85(general fire alarm)that night. As you can guess once our BUDDY put his bunker pants on he was in for a surprise. He simply laughed the creme off like it was nothing, but once he started walking around on scene he started complaining that his feet hurt. That was when we got our laugh, as he was sitting on the side of the rig, pouring water into his boots and turning them around in his pants. And no--there was no fire.

[piercerules]

We have an unwritten rule that we not mess with the bunker gear to the point that it could hinder the wearer's performance. However I have seen a joke involving bunker gear that was hilarious. A FF just off rookie status placed a pair of shear black crotchless panties on the outside of the bunker pants and then rolled the pants back down into the ready postion (this was done to the senior FF who harrassed him the most). When the alarm dropped the senior FF donned his gear and boarded the apparatus ever so clueless. After a brief firefight and some rehab he found himself in a group among his peers wearing panties for all to see.
Also, I have some people still after me for filling their pillow cases with chocolate syrup.

[smketer]

One of the guys got a new Dodge Ram, well he was always talking trash about how nice his truck was. Well one day one of the guys messed with his engine so the timing would be off, for a week strait the guy was saying how he hated his truck. A few months later the guys told him what they did, everyone still laughs about it.

Another thing we did to a guy is put his car up on blocks so when he goes to drive off he is stuck.

For wildfires we would get bumped up stations to stage and respond to calls in that area. Well its always good to carry a big bag of marbles with you so you can rig things in the station.
In one of the desks we turn the drawer upside down in the capt's area so as he goes to open it everything falls on the ground.

Another is put lube on the toliet seat, always a nice slime mess for the guys when they sit down.

In the dish washer put dawn or some kind of soap used for washing dishes in the sink, the dishwasher will foam for weeks. Then put some in the bottle that is ment for the dishwasher.

How many times has your shift gone to get food, ice cream and you put it in your fridge and the next shift eats it. Next time buy some dummy ice cream and put some ranch dressing, oil, vinger, mostly anything the same color, mix it around some, so when the guys take a bite they will get a very nice gift

[LAWIlson]

Having 27+ years in the fire service I have either been involeved in or witnessed a lot. Of course there are a lot of memorable ones.

I believe I was an Engine Company Captain at the time Riding first out... One of the guys had a pretty nice Jeep and had just put new rims and tires on it; needles to say he was very proud of it and didn't like people to mess with it. We were on a structure fire and he was on duty and riding the second due engine. We generally operated on a first out - first in principle. One of the guys on my engine came up with the idea to mess with him. We jacked up the jeep and removed the tires and set them out at the street corner and put a for sale sign on them. When his engine rounded the corned he commented to his crew that those were just like the ones that he had just put on his jeep. As his engine backed into the station he saw his jeep. I'm sure you can imagine the rest.

Spiking the City managers coffee with tabasco sauce was quite the memorable experience too!

The fun ones are the ones that you play on those that can dish it out but can't take it. Like placing the diaper with a fake turd in it in the guys bunker pants.

The rubber band around the sprayer on the back of the kitchen sink.

And god forbid if you were on duty and it was your birthday. Anything from swirlys to being hung in the stoke basket from the aerial could happen.

There was the time we took a one fireman out and got him drunk and them dropped him on his door step where he passed out and his wife found him in the morning dressed in a frilly little nighty.

We stripped one guy (of course this was no easy task) glued cotton balls to his ***, pasted bunny ears on him and shaved his chest.

Our only rules were that you don't do anything to an individuals bunker gear that would delay a response or cause injury. Well as many of you know that have been in the fire service for any time, there is no place like the firehouse for jokes, and the only limit is the imagination.

[CLWFWFD]

One that was pulled on me that I'm waiting to us is take a 1'long flex tie tied around the u-joint of the victims car, believe me this will drive you nuts.

[Squad 12]

I am a 3rd generation FF here in this little spot called New Albany.

Recently we have had numerous "rookies" pass through #4's. One rookie in particular stands out who will reamain nameless.

I have to say this guy "paid his dues" while working with us, because short of a nervous breakdown, he was put through the pump.

Our little story begins with our little bald headed feller starting his day at the drill tower for some much needed training.

This happend to be an all day training session outside on a hot summer day... not a cloud in the sky!

Well, by the end of the day our nameless Superhero had developed a rather impressive 1st degree burn of the bald cranial dermis, due to lack of cover.

That evening after dinner, said new boy had to leave and attend EMT school.

In the interim he had called his Mom (wife) to bring some soothing relief salve to apply to his scortched dermis.

Well, our mild mannered friend left for his much needed education and shortly thereafter "Mom" arrived with his relief.

Now us guys at the #4 Engine Co. being sworn, respectable and upstanding professional firefighters, dedicated to "brotherhood"
would not dare open a brother firefighters personal package delivered by dear ole Mom... RIGHT!

The door had not closed and we were gathered around the table like a pack of hungry alley cats, ready to tear into the scraps left behind.

Which we did...

Contained inside the mystery bag was a brand new can of "Noxzema" and some midol for his already ragged feminine nerves.

(Just kidding about the Midol)

"What to do What to do...?"

After a rather heated and involved debate about how to f--- with the rookie, it came to us.

A very bright light appeared and a hush fell over the room...

And a very beautiful woman appeared fromt the light... To this day I swear it was Katie Curic!

We all bowed before the beautiful one and we were scered...

but she said fear not, for I bring you good tidings and a solution to your problem...

We were all on the edge of life itself waiting to hear the answer to our problem...

The beautiful Katie spoke...



"You have all toiled with this for much too long... When the less expiereinced one returns from his education, when the sun is low in the sky, and when the grasshoppers go forth to multiply...

I say unto you, remove the Noxzema and replace it forthwith, with this... Betty Crocker White cake frosting."

"Apply it liberally to the uneducated one that dwelleth in this house of dedicated ones."

"Apply it liberally to the uneducated ones dermis that has been severedly exposed to the Great God of Radiation and he will be made the fool of."

So we did! And it was good.

Katie left us a whole can of white cake frosting...

We put his care package back together slick as a whistle and awaited T---'s heroic return.

"Here comes -o--!!!" Was the exclamation.

We all sat as if in a great daze, staring at the boob tube.

--d- comes in... "---d your Mom (wife) left you something for your head on the table."

"Thanks guys!"

He immiediatly went to the relief station and began applying the "pain relieving salve."

We all gathered around and looked at the uneducated one with a beaming bright red bald head with a perfect circumfrance of "Noxzema" around his cranium.

"What are you all looking at?" "Haven't you ever seen anyone use Noxzema before?" The uneducated one said...

I stepped forward and took my index finger and took a big swipe of "Noxzema" off his smoldering scalp, and stuck it in my mouth...

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU THATS NOXZEMA!!!!!!!"

Was the statement from the uneducated one...

"No T---, its cake frosting!"

With that, the relays began to click, and Windows DOS engaged...





I think you guys can figure out what happend next...


The story continues...

[FireCpt809]

Back when one of our Lt.'s was my Paramedic partner. He was quite the high strung type (Still is). His daily routine was at least 3-4 bowls of bran cereal and 2 apples one with each meal.......Well apples was his biggest downfall..thanks to me.

1. wrapping his apples in 2 rolls of tape and aluminum foil

2. Buying a duplicate apple and freezing it in a block of ice.

3. taking a picture of the apples being eaten with a ransom note.

4. best of all.. The local hospital was giving out apples for EMS week. I snuck a duplicate apple into the station. All day I pressed the apple making it feel rotten. Dinner time comes he picks up the apple. " hey this F%$&ing thing is rotten" and swears that it wasnt this way when he bought it. He wants to march back to the grocery store and make a complaint. SO being the good brothers we are all supportive and look at the apple.. " wow that is bad you should get your money back!". The apple comes to me.. When I promply announce there is nothing wrong with it and take a big *** bite. He goes off the page!! " your NUTS!! you ate a rotten apple" Knowing its my apple and its not. He is absolutely beside himself.. The whole shift was laughing so hard we thougth we peed our pants. I then told him about the duplicate apple and how it was made to seem rotten.

I know he misses me since he got promoted. The day I had overtime at his station.. He was seen screaming " NO way!! you cant work here!!!!"LOL

[PUMPERCAPTAIN]

One of the best I have came up with may sound a little sick, but hey aren't we all???

Take a 20cc syringe and a short piece of i.v. tubing. Fill the syringe with warm water or mello yellow. Put it in your pocket and run the tubing through your pants fly... consealed of course.

Approach your favorite firefighter or civilian and play like you have a tummy ache and have been sick all day. Get a few "innocent" bystanders to back up your tummy ache story, and you are in business and countin profits!!

Now you play up the poor sick puppy I need an ambulance crap for awhile then...

with out warning announce you don't think you can make it to the bathroom... squeeze the syringe and "pee" all over the victim(s).

If you have as much luck as I have had, you may actually really wet yourself from laughing so hard.

Be sure to watch the facial expressions on your victim(s).

(Note to self... Be sure you are bigger than the victim or can outrun the victim.)

Have fun!!

[firefightermatt]

Ok Im not an FF yet neither is the person that the joke got played on, but the victim and I have both grown up aroung the local FD. I didnt actuall play the joke but was a part of it. O had gone to the boys and girls club in town to do some recruiting for JROTC after I was finished I went across the street to the central fire station to call my dad. One of the guys on duty asked bout my little brother and I told him that he couldnt come with me and that he had stayed home w/ a headace all day. The guy picked up the phone and called my house (the only person home was my brother)my brother picked up the phone and the guy asked for my dad. My gave the natural response (he cant come to phone right now may I take a message?) the guy said he was the asst. superintendent of the parish school system and asked him why he wasnt in school today and my brother told him why. Then the guy asked for a way to get in touch w/ my dad and my brother gave him his pager #. About this time another dept in the area was doing their daily communications check and it came over the speaker so I ran to go turn it down(luckily their tones sound like a fax machine.) The conversation ended and soon after that my dad was there to pick me up. We told him wht we did and to ask my brother about it when we got home, so we did. He told my dad about it and he was still bleiving it was the asst. superintendent. We told mymom about it when she got home but she went and told him what we had done,ut it was good while it lasted. Later I asked my brother if he herd the tones and he said yea but he thought it was a fax machine or something like that.

[plaza1070]

try this

try clear plastic food wrap pulled tightly ove toliet bowl. With the seat down, you can't see it there. Oh, watch your shoes.

[Smokeetr4]

Try this one, it truly is a riot! Get an old pair of granny panties and slip them over the outside of your victims turnout pants. Hint: the more colorfull the better. Thongs work well also. Roll them back down in response mode and wait for the fun. You won't believe how funny it is when the unsuspecting jokee realizes he has on bright orange bloomers after hopping off the rig. We just tried this out on our Asst. Chief and I laughed so hard I almost forgot my assignment. CAUTION: Pick someone with a good sense of humor!

[Firemedic 61]

Try this one. It takes a little prep but it is worth it!!!
This is a toilet gag and only works with the style toilets that you would find in your house. Get some O2 tubing and some duct tape, go in the bathroom, lock the door and walk over to the toilet. Take the top off the tank and find the refill line(long narrow tube). Cut a 'V' notch out of one end of the O2 tubing and shove it up the refill tube. Watch out that you don't push the float down or you will be soaked. After the line is hooked up run it up the tank and down around the bottom of the bowel and aim it so the water stream will soak someone. Tape it in place and GENTLY set the tank cover back on making sure not to pinch the tubing. If you don't have a seat cover an your toilet I suggest placing the end of the tube under the tank lid in the front(this will saok the crotch area quite well). Go to the next closest bathroom and shut the door to make it seem occupied and wait. This is a real WET joke so watch out!

[FireCpt809]

Here is another one...


Tape a packet of Taco bell hot sauce or Soy sauce under the toilet seat. Fold it in half, tape it to the part that makes contact first with the bowl set the lid down carefully.. Wait for the victim to have a seat and look out....