Zero Thoughts

[hogbreath]

As I read all of the thoughts and feelings on Ground Zero, I thought that I might share some of my own thoughts with you.
Tonight is my last tour of my detail down to the WTC site. For the last thirty or so days, I've gone down to bring home my brothers.
I, like many of you, have many friends that are missing, and I went to WTC with the full intent on getting them home.
As the month went by I felt the fustration of working a whole tour and not finding anytime, but I also had the proudest moment of my young career when I helped a recovered brother out of the hole and carried him to the ambulance while the honor guard looked on.
Now, its time for me to go home. And although I feel as proud about the work i have done, there is another feeling.
The feeling of "Did I do enough?", "Could I have digged more?", "Why do I get to leave when so many can't?" and ultimatly the feeling that I am abandoning my brothers.
I went down there to get Mike home to his mother. I went down there to get Dennis home to his family. I went for Sergio, Chris, Pat and all of the other guys that I know by name alone.
On Saturday, I'll going to the memorial service of BC Stack, I worked with his son, he's a good guy. I wonder if he'll think that I didn't do enough to bring his father home.
Hopefully tonight I'll get to bring him home, and make a memorial service into a funeral. We've been lucky enough to do it a couple of times. So, if you have any comment on the post, do one thing for me, wish me luck.

Thanks

I Miss My Brothers.

[ 12-04-2001: Message edited by: Hogbreath ]

[FF.1205]

Good Luck to you and the rest of FDNY in your efforts.


GOD Bless FDNY and ALL of the Lost Brother's

Dave
Firefighter
FTM, PTB, RFB

[Lewiston2FF]

Brother, I pray for you. This will probably come as little comfort to you but, I think you could have spent the next 3 months there and would still be asking yourself if you could have done more. Or, if you have done enough.
As for why you get to go home and others do not, you will have to ask God that one.

I wish you luck, may you do all you hope to do tonight.

Just remember tomorrow, or any of the days that follow should you need a shoulder to lean on, I am here brother.

[DeputyChiefGonzo]

Hogbreath...you have done your time at the Hell known as Ground Zero. Do not feel that you are abandoning your brothers...they still live in your thoughts and prayers and they will always be with you as will the support of your brothers and sisters in the fire service throughout the world.