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  • Make me laugh

    OK guys and gals. It's a nasty, rainy, cold Hump Day here and I just got my severance package. I will be gainfully UNemployed as of Nov 8. I don't want sympathy, just a good laugh. How about everyone's favorite joke-fire-related or otherwise???
    Pepper

  • #2
    Ok I was going to post this story as its own topic cause its sooooo damn funny but you sound like you need it here. I have to be brief cause I gotta get ready to g work at the ER so sorry if it sounds choppy.

    Funniest Call of My Life:

    So we are on the way to central yesterday and we get bumped out for a wreck like 200 yards in front of us. So we are en route and out at the same time. Hell of a response time. Anyway, we pull up to find 20 highschool girls standing around a we can see one damaged car. Oh my God....there are alot of reports standing around, I think, as we make our way to the crowd. Thank God only 2 of them are actually involved. I guess they travel in packs. Anyway, they are all OK, nothing but no-ride reports to do, no problem. But they say there is a lady on the ground over there. Crap her head is bleeding...looks like a transport. So I go over and start my paramedic thing. Here is the funny part. The first part was just eye candy...literally. Anyway, I ask the dreadfull question of what happened. Here is her story. She was turning left and was behind a long line of cars. Not wanting to wait to get into the left turn lane behine all of the cars going straight, she travels westbound in the eastbound lane. Surprise, surprise, she gets hit almost head on. The impact (with the teenage girls) sends her into a grassy part of a walgreens parking lot and the car is heading towards some 3 foot trees. The airbag is deployed and smoke is filling the cab, the powder from the bag. She sees the trees approaching and decides she does not want to hit them. So in her ripe old age of 68, she bails out...of the car...while it is still rolling....fast. Bam, cut on the head. But thats not the funny part. A book falls down into the floor board, lands on the gas pedal. The car takes out the trees and makes a hard right turn. Heads northbound in the southbound lane and makes impact, at full throttle with a southbound pickup...150 yards away. He was scared to death but OK. It may not be as funny reading about it here but I damn near wet my pants en route to the hospital. I have a hole in my lip from tryint to keep a straight face. Hope it made a little sense and I hope it made you giggle a little.
    My comments posted here do not reflect the views of my department.

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    • #3
      Waterboy, you are incredible!!! I could just picture it!! The mental image had me laughing so hard I was crying. Now my soon-to-be-former coworkers KNOW I'm crazy! Thanks for the laugh and thank God no serious injuries.
      Keep 'em comin' y'all!!!
      Pepper

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      • #4
        Two-thirty one Sunday morning. We get paged to injured person. We arrive on scene to fine a 35-40 year old male walking home from the local American Legion Post after several too many drinks. This individual had taken a wrong turn and was walking up a long private drive. Went about twenty feet and his left foot slipped between the rails on a cattle guard. Yhis individual is really drunk. Any way, we get there to find he has struggled to get free until his knee is so swollen it will not come back up between the rails. I have our engine company break out the jaws. As soon as I asked for the spreaders this guy gets real quite and turns very pale. When he see us set up the power unit and hook up the spreaders he goes to crying. I ask if he is in pain. He immediately begins begging me to not cut off his leg. I get to laughing and can hardly speak. One of the engine crew has to explain we are not going to cut off the leg we are only going to spread the rails enough to get his leg out.

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        • #5
          The Nightmare from hell call!

          My engine company gets dispatched to a local joint for a possible unresponsive patient. Upon arrival I make my way back into the bar area, and sure enough the patient is laying on the floor behind the bar. I just happen to be the only paramedic on the engine this night, so I get stuck with patient care. As I start questioning the patient I begin to get the idea that maybe she isn't really so bad off, and maybe she is just making this up alittle as we go along. I ask my partners to set up the O2 as I get all my baseline vital signs. The patient keeps acting as if she is on the verge of passing out, but will still answer my questions.
          As I lean over to take the blood pressure reading I hear a horrible sounding metal versus bone/skin crunch coming from the cranial region of my patient. I turn in horror to see a shiny metal O2 cylinder laying against her head, and my patient screaming in pain. 'Dear God!' I'm thinking... what have my partners done now!
          It seems that one of them left the bottle standing up next to her head, and of course it fell over and hit her above the eyes.
          I quickly examined her and it didn't appear to be too bad. The paramedics from the ambulance arrived at this time and I have to fill them in on what happened.
          We cleared the scene and headed back. I am in anguish thinking of the reports to fill out when we get back to the house. "here comes a lawsuit for sure" "I'm responsible since I'm the senior caregiver"
          these thoughts are going through my mind.
          After we get back to the house I get a call from one of the ambulance medics. He is in tears on the phone laughing.
          It seems that once they got the patient in the ambulance she was very alert/very responsive and when the reached over her to hang the IV bag she threw her arms up and screamed "DONT HIT ME AGAIN I AM FINE!"
          They told me she was a good sport about the whole event.

          Anyway... I had major pucker factor on that one.

          be safe brothers
          Be safe brothers

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          • #6
            Thanks, guys. Knew I could count on you to get me "over the Hump". Now if it was Friday at 5....
            Pepper

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            • #7
              This came from an ambulance crew at an EMS expo: They got a call for a full arrest, male laying in front yard not breathing. Caller is 5 or 6 yr old daughter, mom is doing CPR. Daughter tell dispatcher, better send the police too. Mom's trying to give dad mouth to mouth and he dosen't want it, now their fighting!!!!!

              Stay Safe

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              • #8
                Hey Cap! Thanks for yet another laugh!
                By the way, isn's Swartz Creek near Roscommon/Gladwin/Beaverton/Harrison area?
                Pepper

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                • #9
                  G' mornin pepper.

                  This goes back to '78, new recruit, engine response to assist EMS, single motorcylce wreck, 2 patients, heavily traveled road. As FNG, I get assigned to babysit the uninjured girl while they treat the guy. Of course I get bored, wander away for a minute. As the guy is being loaded my LT yells at me where's the girl. He & I go around the meat wagon to see the girl squatting down, pants at her ankles, putting a steaming pile of #2 in the road in full view of the traffic. What a sight.

                  Keep smilin'

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                  • #10
                    Grit-ROFLMAO!!! THis is a great way to end the week! Thanks everyone!!
                    Now, how about starting next week off the right way?? More jokes and stories please!!

                    ...25 days and counting...

                    [ 10-12-2001: Message edited by: pepper ]
                    Pepper

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                    • #11
                      I always tell this one to people who ask me if I've rescued a lot of people yet:

                      On my first fire call we responded to a nightly house fire. Fire on the first floor, 1 person missing.
                      Arriving on the scene we see a lot of smoke coming from the front door, several people on the street.
                      After me and my #2 are done putting the water supply, we get the order to go in on the first floor (into the bedroom window)for search & rescue. I put on my mask and climb the ladder.
                      Once inside I practically immediately see the 19-year old daughter, lying on her bed. I get her and go out by the window again.
                      Coming down the ladder, I get a good look of her: She's dressed in a pink gown, long blonde hair and I'm wishing there's no boyfriend down there to hand her over to!
                      Suddenly she gets by and asks me what has happened. I tell her "There's been a small fire but everyone's OK. You're the last one out, your parents are waiting for you downstairs." And asked her "Wow, imagine the headlines in tomorrows paper:'Junior Firefighter Rescues Pregnant Woman' !!!" She, quite angry, responds "Hey! I'm not pregnant!!!" At which I say "Well, we're not downstairs yet!"

                      It didn't happen, but always works!!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        pepper: Swartz Creek's located 13 miles west of Flint, MI. I make the Firemans Memorial in Roscommon every year for the past 10 years.


                        Stay Safe

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