Funny or Abnormal dispatches???

[NFD270]

Hey I was wondering If any of you have ever gotten that one dispatch that ever made you laugh or caused you to double take and ask your buddies if they heard what you just heard??? I heard one from a guy on here one time and he said that One night they were all asleep and the dispatcher got on the loud speaker and said;

"Wake up boys! It's time to ROCK and ROLL!!" He then set off the tones and the lights came on and he gave the address. That one made me laugh.

[dammitangie]

The other day I was out on my run, and I heard my department's tones go off, and my pager started to vibrate. And then I hear "Department 15 Medical Responders... MR-151, a headache..." I just did a double take...granted it might have been more serious than it sounded, I just thought it was kinda weird.

[enginecappy]

Heard one on my scanner in my truck a few weeks back....went something like this.....and I must add that I laughed so hard I almost drove off the road.

Communications: Medic 500 respond....321 Spruce Street, Mental subject with complications.

Medic 500: "We're responding, do you have any additional information on the mental subject?"

Communications: "That's correct, just got off the line with the subjects mother, she's advising the subject is now going berzerk"

Medic 500: "Did I copy berzerk?"

Communications: "Thats correct, berzerk".

Medic Unit: Better Start me the P.D. to that location ASAP!

I can imagine the looks on the medics faces when they were advised the subject was going berzerk!

[hctrouble25]

Funniest one was the night I hit some ice responding to a call and hit a tree in one of our other fire fighter's yards..he was out of town luckily...anyway the call came across as "10-50, car vs. tree, possible entrapment, Fire Department member involved." Luckily I walked away without a scratch on me...can't say the same for my truck....then my Chief calls the station to see if they know anything cause he is out on a call and my accident is a block from the firehouse and my Captain says "yep she is OK" over the radio and the whole county knew it was me cause I am the only woman on the department...how funny is that. I got big time teased about that one.

[DeputyChiefGonzo]

We were once toned out to a investigate a fire alarm activation in a residential dwelling. While en route, Fire Alarm came over the radio with this...

"Fire Alarm to Engine 3, Ladder 1, the resident called..she's reporting a "nipple fire" at 25 Woodcock Lane". I looked at the driver, he looked at me. I could hear the rest of the company laughing over the truck's intercom system. I grabbed the microphone and said "Fire Alarm from the 3 Engine, repeat your message..."

The dispatcher repeated the message verbatim!

The resident met us outside of the house, she was laughing. She had called 911 from the neighbor's house, who happened to have a scanner on and she heard the entire radio conversation! She was sterilizing nipples for baby bottles when the water boiled out of the pan, the nipples in the pan caught fire! We vented the smoke from the house using a ppv, and all was well!

*While reading through this thread and editing to correct a spelling error, I thought of a few other "classic dispatchs" by the same dispatcher...

We were responding to a medical emeregency for a report of a middle aged male having a seizure. While en route the dispatcher called us with an update....

"Engine 3, the caller states that the man is now flopping like a fish out of water..."

"Engine 2 the caller says her basement is flooded and smells like a port-a-potty at a rock concert....."

[PlattsFire1]

We got toned out one night for a "satellite facility on fire." Yep, it was a porta - pottie.

[pak-man]

Our police dispatch our fire depart. also so they just don't understand and aren't with it a lot. so one night our tones go off and they go 845 police to all home receivers with a special message, report of a house fire. That was kinda funny

[flashyredone]

Randy, or is it yardo or whatever new name you have made on this forum board! Get a real job your fat overweight and spend to much time online! Training, may be due for you? Beat anybody new lately?

[firefighter26]

We just had a good one this weekend, well, Monday morning @ 2:00am still counts as the weekend.

"Malahat Fire, respond to a person who has fallen from the split rock lookout..."

We were about half way to scene, I was in the first unit when dispatch comes back over

"Malahat Fire, apparently the gentlemen has been drinking and has tried to climb back up the bank a few times but keeps falling back to the bottom."

All I would think of was "help, I have fallen and can't get up."

It was really hard not to laugh while acknowleding the message.

[kfd232]

Well some of the funny ones off hand were made on the air by the guys in the rigs and not the dispatcher.
bat. chief scene size-up at a call:
'on scene with 2-story vehicle fire.'
(not sure exactly what the call turned out to be )
heard over an open mic (and this was accidental)
Captain to driver 'hurry it up, come on'
driver to captain 'we didn't light the m**her**cker!!'

and my favorite...
Station 2 was heading out to test fire hydrants... they took E-2 and B-2 (grass fire rig)
the rookie ff was driving B-2 and thought it would be funny to get on the PA system and tease the driver of E-2. only problem was he grabbed the wrong mic.
rookie: 'Jim is a queer, Jim is a queer'
captain on E-2 looks at his driver (jim) and counts: '1...2...3.' then immediately is heard bat. chief: 'E-2 what is your location. Please stage, I'll be enroute to your location.'

I'm sure you have all heard worse

be safe brothers

[firecat1524]

Before I became career i worked as a dispatcher for our County. One saturday afternoon, I recieved a call for a "porta-potty" fire. As I finished filling out the dispatch card, I was chanting "the sh#t house is on fire...the sh#t house is on fire" I hit the tones, and commenced to say "Attention ### respond to a Shhhhhh.." unclick mic..regain my composure" portable outdoor toilet on fire" When the company returned, they called up to dispaych laughing saying "We know what you were gonna say"
One other time I recieved a call from somone who spoke very broken english. Al we could gather from them is that their porch was on fire. I dispatched a full structral response. Turns out it was the old bag of doggie doo trick. The Asst. Chief didn't think it was prudent to send a full response to such a call, and demanded from then on we give every single bit of information we knew about a call to them at the time of dispatch. The next shift i worked fire, I got a vehicle fire for them. the dispatch went like this " Attention ###, respond to a light blue and silver one ton chevrolet ice cream truck on fire" They got the point.
Overheard while dispatching, over one of our secondary channels, this report rolled in on skip "Dispatch, 31-12...you got better directions to this barn fire" Negative 31-12, caller was vague..suggest you stop at the first barn fire you see on Ashton Rd"

[firedog11ku]

We had a call a month, or so, back it was dispatched as a possible drowning in progress that went as follows:

Dispatch: attention Fire Dept. possible drowning in progress; 300LBS, 45yr old male .

About 2 minutes later the she comes back with: E-4, R-1 can 10-22(return to quarters) victim was rescued by a 14yr old girl when his inflatible raft got a hole.

When the ambulance returned, they said that the guy had been drinking, passed out and floated into some brush causeing the raft to puncture. He couldn't swim. They said that she weighed about 100 Lbs. We laughed for a while on that one

[wvfd_ralif]

Unfortunately this call involve me. I called into dispatch a Car Vs. Boat MVA. My truck was hit head on by a boat and trailer that came loose from the towing vehicle. The boat went over the truck (glancing of the lightbar) and the trailer went under. From then on I was known as the first boat launch in town. Ironically it was right next to the village pond.

Then there is the wind storm dispatch of a "Tree that has fallen and can't get up"

[Malahat27]

Further to the incident that FF26 refers too. At the end of that incident (and all through it) we requested that RCMP attend.

Just as the last two units were returning to the hall, dispatch calls up to confirm our request. The police still hadn't shown up, and all EMS and fire units had departed. The communication went something like this:
"...RCMP is 10 minutes out, was delayed because he had to get out of bed..."

Our pagers went off at 135am on a Monday. We all asked the question, not over the air though: "And what do you think we were doing 2 hours ago, before the call came in?"

[fayette 1]

I heard a local dispatcher alert a department for a "possible stand-by at the station." So I was wondering what those guys did. I mean do you go or just stand-by for the possible stand-by?