So I worked as an EMT about 6 years ago. I did not consider it a success.
I have identified the factors that led to my inability to perform.
First, I am not naturally a fast, quick on my feet thinker. I am highly intelligent, but I am more reflective and analytical. I process immediate incoming information more slowly than the average person. I do best when I can take time to think about a situation. I recognize that in EMS, this time is in short supply. We must think and act NOW, as life hangs in the balance. That is not to say I can't do it, just that it isn't natural for me. It takes a considerable amount of focus and intention for me to do. I have to be confident in the processes and skills I am utilizing.
Second, the anxiety of calls compromised my ability to perform. The focus required to be this job well was interfered with by anxiety. Basic tasks seemed insurmountable challenges. I did not have any grounding skills to manage this anxiety, and it essentially took over. The result was on some calls I was unable to do the job well. Sometimes, I would "freeze up." I'd say as time went on, this was less of a factor. However, patient's lives hang in the balance, and I may not have the time to dial this in. A mistake could cost a life.
I did very well in class. I was able to competently manage our "mock" calls. However, the pressures and anxieties of real emergencies added another element entirely, and I was not able to adapt. My crew told me I was below average and wasn't going to make it. This was crushing, but fair. I was not performing competently. Some calls I did well, but I was very inconsistent.
My success will depend entirely on my ability to ground myself and focus on the situation at hand, managing the anxieties of an emergency. I essentially need to tune out my anxieties and focus, so that I may think and act RIGHT NOW. I need to improve my ability to think on my feet, and cope with and tune out anything that gets in the way. So my question is, is this something that can be learned, or is this something you either have or you don't? Is EMS/firefighting simply a poor fit for me, and should I accept that and pursue different ways of helping people?
Don't hold back. I'd like to know.
I have identified the factors that led to my inability to perform.
First, I am not naturally a fast, quick on my feet thinker. I am highly intelligent, but I am more reflective and analytical. I process immediate incoming information more slowly than the average person. I do best when I can take time to think about a situation. I recognize that in EMS, this time is in short supply. We must think and act NOW, as life hangs in the balance. That is not to say I can't do it, just that it isn't natural for me. It takes a considerable amount of focus and intention for me to do. I have to be confident in the processes and skills I am utilizing.
Second, the anxiety of calls compromised my ability to perform. The focus required to be this job well was interfered with by anxiety. Basic tasks seemed insurmountable challenges. I did not have any grounding skills to manage this anxiety, and it essentially took over. The result was on some calls I was unable to do the job well. Sometimes, I would "freeze up." I'd say as time went on, this was less of a factor. However, patient's lives hang in the balance, and I may not have the time to dial this in. A mistake could cost a life.
I did very well in class. I was able to competently manage our "mock" calls. However, the pressures and anxieties of real emergencies added another element entirely, and I was not able to adapt. My crew told me I was below average and wasn't going to make it. This was crushing, but fair. I was not performing competently. Some calls I did well, but I was very inconsistent.
My success will depend entirely on my ability to ground myself and focus on the situation at hand, managing the anxieties of an emergency. I essentially need to tune out my anxieties and focus, so that I may think and act RIGHT NOW. I need to improve my ability to think on my feet, and cope with and tune out anything that gets in the way. So my question is, is this something that can be learned, or is this something you either have or you don't? Is EMS/firefighting simply a poor fit for me, and should I accept that and pursue different ways of helping people?
Don't hold back. I'd like to know.
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