I'm absolutely mad at God right now. In the past 4 months I've lost both of my best friends. First there was my Deputy Chief Chris whom I adored. We stuck to each other like glue. Then there was Deputy Chief Dale whom I adored just as much as Chris. Both men were so incredibly important to me - They talked with me every single day and I could just chatter away and tell them about all the stuff going on - all of my adventures and silly Probie stories. I could talk to them about anything and everything. They mentored me with firefighting and they just loved me so much. I always looked up to them and tried to follow their example. Both of them gave me great advice and ideas. Dale used to quiz me on what Chris would teach me! Most of all, they were my very best friends. After Chris died Dale held me together as I tried to deal with everything and now Dale has died and I'm all alone! I haven't even gotten over Chris being killed! I still wake up crying at night! Is God trying to make me go crazy by taking all my friends away?
Everything is so silent now. They are BOTH gone! My phone never rings and my fire station is empty and silent. All I can think is, "What have I done to deserve this?"
I'm mad at God because first he took my Chris and now he's taken Dale. He's taken the two most beloved friends in my life and I'm all alone now.
Have any of you ever been mad at God? Did your life ever become happy again? I'm so miserable that if I don't let all of this out I'm going to errupt. Who is going to be my best friend and my mentor now? If I find another person who fills my heart with love and happiness will they die too???
I just don't get it.
Everything is so silent now. They are BOTH gone! My phone never rings and my fire station is empty and silent. All I can think is, "What have I done to deserve this?"
I'm mad at God because first he took my Chris and now he's taken Dale. He's taken the two most beloved friends in my life and I'm all alone now.
Have any of you ever been mad at God? Did your life ever become happy again? I'm so miserable that if I don't let all of this out I'm going to errupt. Who is going to be my best friend and my mentor now? If I find another person who fills my heart with love and happiness will they die too???
I just don't get it.
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