Leader

Collapse

Announcement

Collapse

Firehouse.com Forum Rules & Guidelines

Forum Rules & Guidelines

Not Permitted or Tolerated:
• Advertising and/or links of commercial, for-profit websites, products, and/or services is not permitted. If you have a need to advertise on Firehouse.com please contact sales@firehouse.com
• Fighting/arguing
• Cyber-bullying
• Swearing
• Name-calling and/or personal attacks
• Spamming
• Typing in all CAPS
• “l33t speak” - Substituting characters for letters in an effort to represent a word or phrase. (example: M*****ive)
• Distribution of another person’s personal information, regardless of whether or not said information is public knowledge and whether or not an individual has permission to post said personal information
• Piracy advocation of any kind
• Racist, sexual, hate type defamatory, religious, political, or sexual commentary.
• Multiple forum accounts

Forum Posting Guidelines:

Posts must be on-topic, non-disruptive and relevant to the firefighting community. Post only in a mature and responsible way that contributes to the discussion at hand. Posting relevant information, helpful suggestions and/or constructive criticism is a great way to contribute to the community.

Post in the correct forum and have clear titles for your threads.

Please post in English or provide a translation.

There are moderators and admins who handle these forums with care, do not resort to self-help, instead please utilize the reporting option. Be mature and responsible for yourself and your posts. If you are offended by another member utilize the reporting option. All reported posts will be addressed and dealt with as deemed appropriate by Firehouse.com staff.

Firehouse.com Moderation Process:
Effective immediately, the following moderation process will take effect. User(s) whose posts are determined by Firehouse.com staff to be in violation of any of the rules above will EARN the following reprimand(s) in the moderation process:
1. An initial warning will be issued.
2. A Final Warning will be issued if a user is found to be in violation a second time.
3. A 3-day suspension will be issued if the user continues to break the forum rules.
4. A 45-day suspension will be issued if the user is found to be a habitual rule breaker.
5. Habitual rule breakers that have exhausted all of the above will receive a permanent life-time ban that will be strictly enforced. Reinstatement will not be allowed – there is no appeal process.

Subsequent accounts created in an effort to side-step the rules and moderation process are subject to automatic removal without notice. Firehouse.com reserves the right to expedite the reprimand process for any users as it is deemed necessary. Any user in the moderation process may be required to review and agree to by email the terms and conditions listed above before their account is re-instated (except for those that are banned).

Firehouse.com reserves the right to edit and/or remove any post or member, at any time, for any reason without notice. Firehouse.com also reserves the right to warn, suspend, and/or ban, any member, at any time, for any reason.

Firehouse.com values the active participation we have in our forums. Please ensure your posts are tasteful and tactful. Thank you very much for your cooperation.
See more
See less

Fire house Drama..guy got tossed out

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Fire house Drama..guy got tossed out

    Hey guys long story with a quick question.
    Iv been a member of my vol dept for over a year. I am all for the ball busting and have thick skin, its part of the job. BUt we all know their is a line you can not cross.

    Quick story:
    i have been in a year, when i had my interview i was warred about the "dept ball buster". This individual is a good emt/firefighter. But his mouth and jokes and comments are so far disrespectful and belittling its insane. From everything to the worse sexual slurs about peoples sisters and moms to trying to pick fights with the new people because he thinks he is untouchable. IN the 5 years he has been there he has been suspended 3 times and every time someone wants to bring him up on company charges they back off because he is known to threaten to hurt them. Now...he thinks he is untouchable because he is buddy buddy with the chiefs. Fast forward a few months. In a 10 month period i have asked him 4 times to stop making sexual jokes and slurs about my sister, he would laugh and walk away. In that 10 month period i asked him 4 times to stop and spoke to an asst chief to make him stop. Im not sure if it was how i was raised but i do not tolerate disrespect about my family of any kind. Like i mentioned he is buddy buddy with the chiefs so that did nothing. I asked a commissioner on what to do and they said if you talked to a chief and he keeps it up, bring him up on charges. So fast forward again....

    He sliped again and says a comment about my sister in sexual manner to get a laugh. So later that day i confronted him asking him who he thinks he is? I lost my cool and told him you are no one and you have no respect for anyone. And in return he threaten to break my face. I brought him up on dept charges and two weeks later we have our company meeting and on the board for the meeting are his best friends aka chiefs. They suspend him for two weeks and made him take a online sensitivity training course.

    Now, during that two week suspension, the district was furious at his behavior and furious at the decision of the chiefs, because they were not biased on there decision on his behavior, and favored him. I stood up for my family!!! So the district tossed him out for good and got rid of his gear. Hes gone. And now the chiefs think im the bad guy and aggressor and a pussy simple because i asked multiple times for him to stop and will not tolerate those comments. SO now the chiefs are treating me poorly and think im the problem and not him. 98% of the comapny is behind me because i am the only person to stand up to him and not back down, but the chiefs think overwise


    I just had to rant and ask.... AM I WRONG FOR STANDING UP FOR MY FAMILY???!!! I DONT THINK THIS BEHAVIOR SHOULD BE EVEN ALOUD IN A FIRE DEPT...
    Last edited by firefighterchfd; 03-21-2015, 09:51 PM.

  • #2
    Originally posted by firefighterchfd View Post
    Hey guys long story with a quick question.
    Iv been a member of my vol dept for over a year. I am all for the ball busting and have thick skin, its part of the job. BUt we all know their is a line you can not cross.

    Quick story:
    i have been in a year, when i had my interview i was warred about the "dept ball buster". This individual is a good emt/firefighter. But his mouth and jokes and comments are so far disrespectful and belittling its insane. From everything to the worse sexual slurs about peoples sisters and moms to trying to pick fights with the new people because he thinks he is untouchable. IN the 5 years he has been there he has been suspended 3 times and every time someone wants to bring him up on company charges they back off because he is known to threaten to hurt them. Now...he thinks he is untouchable because he is buddy buddy with the chiefs. Fast forward a few months. In a 10 month period i have asked him 4 times to stop making sexual jokes and slurs about my sister, he would laugh and walk away. In that 10 month period i asked him 4 times to stop and spoke to an asst chief to make him stop. Im not sure if it was how i was raised but i do not tolerate disrespect about my family of any kind. Like i mentioned he is buddy buddy with the chiefs so that did nothing. I asked a commissioner on what to do and they said if you talked to a chief and he keeps it up, bring him up on charges. So fast forward again....

    He sliped again and says a comment about my sister in sexual manner to get a laugh. So later that day i confronted him asking him who he thinks he is? I lost my cool and told him you are no one and you have no respect for anyone. And in return he threaten to break my face. I brought him up on dept charges and two weeks later we have our company meeting and on the board for the meeting are his best friends aka chiefs. They suspend him for two weeks and made him take a online sensitivity training course.

    Now, during that two week suspension, the district was furious at his behavior and furious at the decision of the chiefs, because they were not biased on there decision on his behavior, and favored him. I stood up for my family!!! So the district tossed him out for good and got rid of his gear. Hes gone. And now the chiefs think im the bad guy and aggressor and a pussy simple because i asked multiple times for him to stop and will not tolerate those comments. SO now the chiefs are treating me poorly and think im the problem and not him. 98% of the comapny is behind me because i am the only person to stand up to him and not back down, but the chiefs think overwise


    I just had to rant and ask.... AM I WRONG FOR STANDING UP FOR MY FAMILY???!!! I DONT THINK THIS BEHAVIOR SHOULD BE EVEN ALOUD IN A FIRE DEPT...

    Good for you

    Sounds like it should have been handled even before you joined.

    Does the dept have any written sexual harassment policy ??

    Does THE chief answer to anyone higher?? As in they should have a sexual harassment policy and maybe dump the problem to them.

    Comment


    • #3
      what do you want to hear from a bunch of internet strangers that are hearing one side of an incident/story? Do what you think is right and let the chips fall, don't come on here asking for validation, it just makes you look whiny.
      ?

      Comment


      • #4
        I can tell you how it would have been handled at my shop. He would have gotten 2 warnings at the most. Then he would have gotten a locker room "consultation", also known in some circles as a "Come to Jesus" moment.
        "Loyalty Above all Else. Except Honor."

        Comment


        • #5
          And just have to add 98% of the department is "behind you" ???? first time I ever heard of a fire department where 98% agreed on anything.
          ?

          Comment


          • #6
            Sounds like the dude is a @ss hole. That being said the fire house is full of @ssholes, everyone gets $hit from everybody. This guy may have crossed a line, but in a firehouse those lines of inexcusable behavior are not the same as the civilian world.

            That being said the guys at my house where I work and and my vollie house are brutal. The smart @ss comments are always being thrown around, anybody sees a moment they can make a smart @ss comment you can bet they are going to take it. Just the way it is in a firehouse, honestly I wouldn't want it any other way. You gotta be able to take it and dish it out in the firehouse, now if this guy has truly went too far then that's got to be addressed (preferably between you two).

            Also you gotta think these are guys you will be with a lot of the time, is it really worth alienating the whole crew against you over one @sshole. Because I can guarantee the crew wont forget about it. They wont know what to say around you because they may think you will report them. Trust me you would rather be getting $hit from the guys, than the one they don't talk to. Because if your getting $hit you are part of the group.

            P.S. I can tell you any firehouse in the nation, if they see your sister or you bring her to the station and shes hot, hell she just has to be decent looking. The guys are gonna make comments, trust me on that.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by slackjawedyokel View Post
              And just have to add 98% of the department is "behind you" ???? first time I ever heard of a fire department where 98% agreed on anything.
              I'm with you on this. I seriously doubt his support is at 98%. Especially if 100% of the chiefs are against him. Probably over-stating the situation.

              That doesn't mean that I think he was wrong. The guy sounds like an A-hole and a bully who threatened physical violence. We only have one side of the story but if it's accurate, the guy had to go. Can't believe the chiefs don't see this.

              Depending on what the actual comments were, the OP may want to develop a thicker skin. Had he brushed off the earliest comments the whole thing may have ended and never got to the point it did.

              Never let 'em see you sweat.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by captnjak View Post
                I'm with you on this. I seriously doubt his support is at 98%. Especially if 100% of the chiefs are against him. Probably over-stating the situation.

                That doesn't mean that I think he was wrong. The guy sounds like an A-hole and a bully who threatened physical violence. We only have one side of the story but if it's accurate, the guy had to go. Can't believe the chiefs don't see this.

                Depending on what the actual comments were, the OP may want to develop a thicker skin. Had he brushed off the earliest comments the whole thing may have ended and never got to the point it did.

                Never let 'em see you sweat.
                and very good point about brushing off the first time , many times (not always) the guy will test you to see how easy it is to get under your skin. A lot of times if you laugh off the initial comment , they will move on to easier targets. But regardless ,most of the time things can be handled man to man if you not only expect respect , but also give it. Some times it may have to move up the chain , but in my opinion , a one on one problem should never be "brought up" in public AKA internet.
                ?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Snarff View Post
                  P.S. I can tell you any firehouse in the nation, if they see your sister or you bring her to the station and shes hot, hell she just has to be decent looking. The guys are gonna make comments, trust me on that.
                  A friend of mine in a different dept. put it best. Any girl that walks into a firehouse jumps two points on the ten scale. By virtue of the fact that she is typically going to be the only women in the place.
                  They told me if I voted for Hillary Clinton the president would be emotional, impulsive, and unpredictable. They were right. I voted for Hillary Clinton and got a president that is emotional, impulsive, and unpredictable.

                  I'm not saying you're stupid. I'm saying you have bad luck when it comes to thinking.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Part of our new member orientation includes a discussion on how the membership will bust your balls with no mercy...but these same guys will be there for you in anything you need and will give you the shirt off their backs to help. "Partners" and family members of members get some comments made, but if anything goes too far in a members thought....it stops.
                    "This thread is being closed as it is off-topic and not related to the fire industry." - Isn't that what the Off Duty forum was for?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Frankly, I lived by a pretty simple rule when it came to ball busting, Significant others, Moms, and most often kids were off limits.
                      Crazy, but that's how it goes
                      Millions of people living as foes
                      Maybe it's not too late
                      To learn how to love, and forget how to hate

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Wow; have times changed. Respectfully. Why are you complaining to this excellent Forum? You are being hazed? We all were. I was. Call the august gentleman out and take it behind the house. Fight it out. He MIGHT be choosing a very poor way of testing your character. Or it is possible he is just a real posterior opening. Either way just give him some lumps. I only had two fist fights back in 1972. They WERE testing my character. Both fights were draws. One guy became one of my best job buddies and helped me pass the Engineers test. You might want to toughen up? Respectfully. HB of CJ (old coot) My point of view only. Thank you. Bakersfield City Fire Dept. 1972. ISO Class One THEN. Great agency. Horrible town. The way it used to be.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          While I concur with some of the others on here that ball busting always has, does and most likely always WILL be done (it's good for the soul and it weeds out all the non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved company) we always had rules: wives, girlfriends, sisters, mothers and children are out. Family, pretty much for the whole part. Tread lightly when involving family in your shenanigans. And yes, if I were this guy's Senior Man, I would have told him to have a parking lot discussion with the bully- who sounded like he desperately needed a dose of his own medicine. As for the bosses being on the Bully's side, I dunno......Theres three sides to every story.
                          "Loyalty Above all Else. Except Honor."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Honestly I am appalled at some of the answers here.

                            1) Punching out a co-worker in today's litigious society would likely end your career and quite possibly end you up in jail.

                            2) Telling people to suck it up when they being subjected to someone making sexually suggestive comments about their significant other, mother, sister, or kids, is quite possibly the stupidest advice I have ever heard. I would warn them a couple of times, then go to my officer, if they couldn't, or worse wouldn't, handle it I would go up the chain to get it stopped. Honestly, you can say whatever the heck you want about me, but my family is off limits. Especially if it becomes sexual.

                            It isn't 1950 and to be honest I never thought that kind of Bull Schitt was ever appropriate.
                            Crazy, but that's how it goes
                            Millions of people living as foes
                            Maybe it's not too late
                            To learn how to love, and forget how to hate

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by FyredUp View Post
                              Honestly I am appalled at some of the answers here...
                              I'm with Fyred on this. This ain't the 70's, and we can't just go and rough people up behind the firehouse.

                              Trust me, I'm no softie, and I enjoy good firehouse banter along with everyone else. But there comes a time where it crosses a line, and it sounds like the line got crossed too many times here.

                              I think it's interesting that many folks are telling the lad to toughen up rather than questioning whether or not the chief was actually enabling this behavior.
                              Career Fire Captain
                              Volunteer Chief Officer


                              Never taking for granted that I'm privileged enough to have the greatest job in the world!

                              Comment

                              300x600 Ad Unit (In-View)

                              Collapse

                              Upper 300x250

                              Collapse

                              Taboola

                              Collapse

                              Leader

                              Collapse
                              Working...
                              X