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  • #16
    Originally posted by nmfire View Post
    Neighboring town was dispatched to, and I quote, "An elderly female that accidentally used her vagina cream as toothpaste."
    On the "weird" dispatch front.......

    A nearby town's FD was dispatched for some shrubbery that was on fire. The dispatcher announced the call literally as "women states her bush is on fire and would like someone to come check it out".

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    • #17
      Originally posted by FireMedic049 View Post
      On the "weird" dispatch front.......

      A nearby town's FD was dispatched for some shrubbery that was on fire. The dispatcher announced the call literally as "women states her bush is on fire and would like someone to come check it out".
      hahaahhaha

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Firefighter 21 View Post
        hahaahhaha
        Yeah, that was my reaction.

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        • #19
          I can take credit for this one. A utility pole with smoking equipment on it. Can you guess what I kept saying without realizing what I was saying?
          Even the burger-flippers at McDonald's probably have some McWackers.

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          • #20
            Well.........

            Some (Actually about 30) years ago we got a call to respond to the intersection of Church Rd & Rt. 50 for a Streetcar on Fire. Only Problem with that is that there wasn't any Streetcar Tracks within Miles of that intersection. We respond anyway and arrived to find a Streetcar on Fire on the side of the road, ON A LOWBOY TRAILER..........
            Never use Force! Get a Bigger Hammer.
            In memory of
            Chief Earle W. Woods, 1912 - 1997
            Asst. Chief John R. Woods Sr. 1937 - 2006

            IACOJ Budget Analyst

            I Refuse to be a Spectator. If I come to the Game, I'm Playing.

            www.gdvfd18.com

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            • #21
              Originally posted by nmfire View Post
              I can take credit for this one. A utility pole with smoking equipment on it. Can you guess what I kept saying without realizing what I was saying?

              i cant

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              • #22
                I too have experienced the "sex room" call complete with black lights, whips, chains, slings, leather masks, beads, and this saw horse looking table that looked like a massage table with several shackles attached...creepy.

                This is how it played out....
                We get a call for "injuries as a result of a fight."

                Neighbors reported screaming and loud banging coming from a house.
                Cops get there, had to kick in the door to the house and heard screaming coming from the basement. They get down there and find out it it was all a game. The cops sort it out and call an ambulance for "injuries as a result of a fight."

                I get there and one of the officers is trying to explain the situation between his laughing. He just said, go see for yourself. I walk into the house and there is the male subject dressed in a leather S&M suit with I swear to God, the rear, buttock area cut out. He had cuts and bruises from the restraints to his arms and around his neck but his main complaint was "she tore the ***** out of me!" He was sitting on a few towels that had gotten soaked with blood and complaining of abdominal pains. He had severe bleeding from the rectum area, a black eye, and some facial injuries, including a missing tooth. I took his word for it on the rectum area and started checking out his face injuries. That's when I noticed he had make up on.

                Turns out the husband was being "violated" by his wife with a large "marital aid" (Home Wrecker 9000 ) and another female assistant (all dressed in leather by the way looking hot, yet scary at the same time) was slapping him and beating on him. It apparently got out of hand. He unfortunately forgot the "safe word" (in his own words) so the wife thought he was just enjoying it. Well he screamed and hollered so loud the neighbors called the cops. The women stopped only after the cops kicked down the door.

                I heard later from one of the doctor friends I know he actually got worse in the ER and was admitted. He eventually had to go under surgery to repair a perforated bowel. YIKES!!!!
                Last edited by Dickey; 08-22-2010, 01:37 AM.
                Jason Knecht
                Firefighter/EMT
                Township Fire Dept., Inc.
                Eau Claire, WI

                IACOJ - Director of Cheese and Whine
                http://www.cheddarvision.tv/
                EAT CHEESE OR DIE!!

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by Firefighter 21 View Post
                  i cant
                  Well keep thinking. A pole with smoke. I'm sure it will come to you.
                  Even the burger-flippers at McDonald's probably have some McWackers.

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                  • #24
                    Harve... if you add your story with a few of the others you'd have

                    A Streetcar named Desire.
                    HAVE PLAN.............WILL TRAVEL

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                    • #25
                      Not as crazy as some of the others, but last year the neighboring fire district got dispatched for a vehicle vs. animal. The animal happened to be a Turkey that went through the windshield at +70 mph and grazed the driver. When the dept got there and started to prepare the patient for removal from the vehicle, they quickly discovered the Turkey was a full grown Tom with intact spurs. It wasn't dead and a sheriff deputy had to put the animal down before treatment of the patient continued. I told my partner about that one the other day and he proceeded to tell me about a call where a white-tail doe went through the windshield of a compact and landed in the passenger seat. He said by the time they got the patient out they had hoof shaped bruises and cuts all over their right side.
                      Last edited by KanFireman; 08-22-2010, 06:03 AM. Reason: fixed typos

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                      • #26
                        Neighboring fire department's "bread truck" rescue/equipment truck was on the way home from an MVA when a turkey flew across the road in front of it. Didn't quite make it. Fortunately there was no one sitting in the passenger position when the turkey took out the right side of the windshield and ended up inside the van, alive.

                        Once the driver (who was alone) recovered his wits and stopped, he summoned assistance and shooed the bird out of the truck.

                        Some years ago my department was toned out for a car/pedestrian on the state highway just outside of town, close to midnight.

                        We arrive on scene to find only the vehicle, who report he had just "winged" the victim (who was in the middle of the road) with his mirror.

                        The victim was nowhere in sight. A search ensued along the sides of the road. Most had given up and headed back to the apparatus when I spotted the victim, well off the road in some tall grass and a quarter mile from the point of impact.

                        By the time I hollered for help (no radio) he had again vanished, but we had a better idea where the heck he was. We searched the area where I'd seen him, no luck.

                        Assuming he'd continued on, everyone else moved in the direction we assumed he'd gone. For some reason I hung back. Once the noise of the other searchers subsided I heard a moan. Found him in a thicket, on the ground. Anyone who may have looked into the thicket with a flashlight probably missed him if they assumed he was standing up.

                        His injuries were relatively minor, but I'm sure his hangover was a winner.

                        But the sex rooms are still leading the pack here.
                        Opinions my own. Standard disclaimers apply.

                        Everyone goes home. Safety begins with you.

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                        • #27
                          Yeah, Right............

                          Originally posted by PaladinKnight View Post
                          Harve... if you add your story with a few of the others you'd have

                          A Streetcar named Desire.

                          Thanks, Coffee all over the Monitor. Again.






                          Never use Force! Get a Bigger Hammer.
                          In memory of
                          Chief Earle W. Woods, 1912 - 1997
                          Asst. Chief John R. Woods Sr. 1937 - 2006

                          IACOJ Budget Analyst

                          I Refuse to be a Spectator. If I come to the Game, I'm Playing.

                          www.gdvfd18.com

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            We got called for a unknown smell in an apartment. We walk in and it smells kind of chemicalish or gasolineish. We end up calling PD because of the possible drug lab potential. PD ends up finding this guy in another apartment with milk jugs and other various containers full of bleach and gasoline with fans set up in front of them.
                            This guy thought he was sanitizing the air. He was a total space cadet. Talking to the FBI on his headphones and all kinds of weird stuff. To top it all of he had a masturbation station set up. He had a pallet on the floor lined with mirrors on the sides with porno mags strung up across the room. Next to the porno mags were pictures of Hanna Montana. Nuff said!
                            Last edited by jschmidt; 08-22-2010, 05:14 PM. Reason: Can't spell

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                            • #29
                              Last year I was sitting at the computer in the office finishing a report late one night. The phone rang so in my best professional voice I answered, "******City Station **, how may I help you. On the other end was what sounded like two females deep in the throws of passionate lovemaking. A short time later, a sultry female voice asked, "Would you like to come and join us when you get off duty fireman"? I replied "Of course, where should we meet"? The woman replied, "Meet us on the corner of 32nd and" bzzzzzzt! The phone went dead....wierd.
                              IAFF

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                              • #30
                                snowball - !!!! *69 !!!!

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