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cadet essay, please read

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  • cadet essay, please read

    i am going to apply for a cadet program and one thing i have to do is submitt a 100 word essay, please read and give your opinions. thank you


    “Why I want to be a Tucson fire department cadet”


    For some people saving lives is untouched territory, for some people working, and living with others would be a problem, for some people loving what they do as a career is not possible. When you accept the challenge to be a Tucson Fire Department Cadet and promote the extreme difficulty of being a firefighter, you are that unusual person who enjoys saving peoples lives. This person wakes up in the morning proud to do what they do, and is exited to go to “work”, this person is me. I would like to be a Tucson Fire Department Cadet because I would like to learn and prepare skills so that I can provide the best qualities for a career in emergency service. My career goal is to be a firefighter, and while there are many other satisfying careers out there, no job is more rewarding to me than saving a persons life and giving that person a second chance to start over. Being a cadet, along with a firefighter will be very difficult and challenging, I am definitely prepared to face this and will give 100% of all my efforts to be the best Tucson Fire Department Cadet I can be.

  • #2
    I did some editing, but the highlighted items did not show up from the Word document. It may (or may not) make it sound smoother.

    “Why I want to be a Tucson Fire Department Cadet”


    For some people saving lives is untouched territory, for some people working and living with others would be a problem, for some people loving what they do for a career is not possible. When you accept the challenge to be a Tucson Fire Department Cadet and promote the extreme difficulty of being a firefighter, you are that unusual person who enjoys saving peoples lives. This person wakes up in the morning proud to do what they do, and is excited to go to “work”, this person is me.
    I would like to be a Tucson Fire Department Cadet because I would like to learn and prepare my skills so that I can provide the best qualities for a career in the emergency services. My career goal is to be a firefighter, and while there are many other satisfying careers, no job will be more rewarding to me than saving a persons life and giving them a second chance.
    Being a fire department cadet, will be very challenging. I am definitely prepared to face this challenge and give 100% of my efforts to be the best Tucson Fire Department Cadet I can be.

    Comment


    • #3
      I'm leaving the actual content up to you, but I have a lot of advice for you about your grammar. I think that to put your best foot forward, you must write well.

      For example:

      Your first sentence is not a sentence, but three sentences stuck together. Separate them - "For some people, saving lives is untouched territory. For some people, working and living with others would be a problem. For some people, loving what they do for a career is not possible."

      In your second sentence, I think you should avoid using the third person ("you"). Also, to me the phrase "promote the extreme difficulty of becoming a firefighter" makes no sense. Here I am going to make a comment on the actual content of your essay as well - to me it sounds condescending to state that only an unusual person "enjoys saving people's lives". I'm sure most people would like to save people's lives, but the opportunity is rare. Maybe it would be better stated "Accepting the challenge of being a Tucson Fire Department Cadet and the extreme difficulty of being a firefighter would give me the unique opportunity to help save people's lives and property."

      Next sentence - be more direct. "I want to wake up in the morning proud to do my job and excited to go to 'work'." Excited, not exited (exited means left the building!).

      Use apostrophes correctly, i.e. "person's" and "people's".

      Your last sentence should be split into two: "Being a cadet, and eventually a firefighter, will be very difficult and challenging. I am definitely prepared to face this, and will give 100% of my effort to be the best Tucson Fire Department Cadet I can be."

      Okay, Grammar 101 is over for today. Hope this helps.
      Last edited by baileydonk; 03-28-2006, 03:02 PM.
      -------;- "Aaaaa!!"
      Remember - always wear your helmet around one-eyed women with pike poles

      Comment


      • #4
        I would be the last to critique anyone else's grammar but the words are better than my response to the question of"Why do you want to join this department?"when I signed on a volunteer department 3 years ago.
        My response of"Well,uh,well.Uh,I could help"was straight out of "The Untouchables" but I got on.I am quite sure the officers conducting the interview were being polite in stifling their laughter but I have been assuming that someone told the killingest joke the second I shut the door to the office and that's why they busted out laughing.
        Good luck with you efforts and remember to ask questions whenever possible.This is all need to know information.

        Comment


        • #5
          thank you for you help guys.

          Comment


          • #6
            if it was me, i wouldn't talk about wanting to save lives. it gives the impression that you have a hero complex---that's not compatable with the fire service

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by bassman48
              i am going to apply for a cadet program and one thing i have to do is submitt a 100 word essay, please read and give your opinions. thank you


              “Why I want to be a Tucson fire department cadet”


              For some people saving lives is untouched territory, for some people working, and living with others would be a problem, for some people loving what they do as a career is not possible. When you accept the challenge to be a Tucson Fire Department Cadet and promote the extreme difficulty of being a firefighter, you are that unusual person who enjoys saving peoples lives. This person wakes up in the morning proud to do what they do, and is exited to go to “work”, this person is me. I would like to be a Tucson Fire Department Cadet because I would like to learn and prepare skills so that I can provide the best qualities for a career in emergency service. My career goal is to be a firefighter, and while there are many other satisfying careers out there, no job is more rewarding to me than saving a persons life and giving that person a second chance to start over. Being a cadet, along with a firefighter will be very difficult and challenging, I am definitely prepared to face this and will give 100% of all my efforts to be the best Tucson Fire Department Cadet I can be.
              it;s good but I would change a few things in the beginning. so instead of "For some people saving lives is untouched territory, for some people working, and living with others would be a problem, yet still there are those who could never love their career." or maybe add a way of saying that there are people who do love their careers so you could write 'and yet there are those who love their careers and dedicate themselves to it.' or something. I don't know, just a few helpful hints.

              Comment


              • #8
                I want to write a cadet essay. But I was looking for an impressive topic about the cadet. Now finally, I've met https://topicsmill.com/research-paper/ site. This site has various topics, and I found the best topics about cadets. This topic is very interesting and defines the proper way of cadets' work and that's why I choose that topic for my essay writing.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hey bassman48, I think there are some difficulties in your written essay and you don't have proper knowledge about writing an essay. Well, don't worry about this because now you can easily get help from online essay writing services and for choosing the best writing service for your work you can take help from https://occupyeducated.org/speedypaper-review/ which is an online review website and it provides the writing services on the basis of their reviews and I think it is the best way to choose genuine writing service for your work. I used this website for taking the speedypaper review of a writing service and I found it very helpful.

                  Comment

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