Pluto gets downsized

[EastKyFF]

Poor pluto. No longer a planet. Now how will school kids learn the other eight planets?


My very educated mother just served us nothing.

Many veterinarians exhibit manure jammed solidly under nails.

Maybe Vern's exhaled marijuana joint smoke urged narcs.

"Miami Vice" exudes Mann's jaunty style utilizing noir.

Mathers' very explicit music job sure uses nastiness.

Monkeys value excrement messes just so uniformly now.

[manofire2]

Wonder how Mickey feels about this?

I think this is Goofy.

I guess it's because it was just too Minnie.

[FrFtr28]

Men Very Early Make Jars Stand Up Neatly........... Period

[LuckyThirteen]

These astronomers have way, way too much time on their hands.

[FlyingKiwi]

Was this a corporate decision because they are getting ready for a hostile takeover bid? :p

[ntmd8r38]

These astronomers have way, way too much time on their hands.


no doubt that was a major nerd convention

[PattyV]

"Naaaaa... we will now roll 1D20 to see whether pluto is a planet or not"
"Ah! What is Pluto's armour class?"
"Does Pluto get a saving throw?"
Okay so maybe i have played dungeons and dragons a few times when i was younger.

[THEFIRENUT]

I had heard that they were planning on adding a few planets. I guess their addition and subtraction got all mixed up (darn super-computers) :eek:

[ffemtPAJ]

TO: Pluto

FROM: Your Solar System Neighborhood Association

Cc: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune

Bcc: Sun Dear Neighbor,

Your refusal to comply with association policies has forced us to rescind your status as a planetary member and revoke your privileges acquired over the past 76 years.

Despite your much-heralded arrival to our subdivision after discovery by Clyde Tombaugh, your attendance at association meetings has been erratic. (Once every 248 years?)

Your encroachment into neighbor Neptune's territory and icy demeanor when well-intentioned gas balls such as Jupiter tried to welcome you have not enhanced your reputation as a loner on the fringe.

We recognize that you are a well-rounded individual made famous by a cartoon dog, but there's only so much we can take. You know how hard we've worked to keep debris out of our neighborhood!

So we are immediately rezoning your region of the solar system. The Kuiper Belt will now be reserved for you and other dwarf planets and small solar-system bodies. See PLUTO on A6

To reflect this change, you will receive a new designation, to be decided later. You will be allowed a single parking space for you and your "companion," Charon.

The new designation affects other solar-system members who lack the orbital attendance, gravitas and sector maintenance that define your classy neighbors: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune.

That means asteroid Ceres and your newest neighbor, 2003 UB313 (the one who showed up last Halloween dressed like Xena, the TV character? Check out the pictures in the Fall newsletter!) will join you in this new membership, which we think will fit your eccentricities.

To help you feel at home, we will let you know when membership applications from other objects in the outer solar system move through the process.

However, we recognize your continued popularity with the public and the certain je ne sais quoi that your celebrity status and picture deal with Walt Disney Co. confer on the solar system.

So, we plan to send a robotic emissary to visit you in 2015 to see how you're doing. We hope you will use the upcoming years to explore new horizons and discover your hidden talents free from our gravitational restraints. Your 2006 dues will be retained to pay for this visit.

Don't forget to contact the U.S. Postal Service and all Earth school districts to notify them of your change of address. Also, NASA will now be in charge of your trash pickup and street repair.

We hope you enjoy the benefits of your new membership.

Your Solar System Neighbors, solarsystem@galaxy.net

--A.J. Hostetler

note: A.J Hostetler is the author of this "letter". It appeared in the Richmond (Va) Times-Dispatch, where he is a staff writer, on 8/25/06.

[Tillerman17]

Great letter!!!!, but you forgot to add the all important line at the end......NOW GET OUT AND STAY OUT YOU ICE BALL!!!!!!>TO: Pluto

FROM: Your Solar System Neighborhood Association

Cc: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune

Bcc: Sun Dear Neighbor,

Your refusal to comply with association policies has forced us to rescind your status as a planetary member and revoke your privileges acquired over the past 76 years.

Despite your much-heralded arrival to our subdivision after discovery by Clyde Tombaugh, your attendance at association meetings has been erratic. (Once every 248 years?)

Your encroachment into neighbor Neptune's territory and icy demeanor when well-intentioned gas balls such as Jupiter tried to welcome you have not enhanced your reputation as a loner on the fringe.

We recognize that you are a well-rounded individual made famous by a cartoon dog, but there's only so much we can take. You know how hard we've worked to keep debris out of our neighborhood!

So we are immediately rezoning your region of the solar system. The Kuiper Belt will now be reserved for you and other dwarf planets and small solar-system bodies. See PLUTO on A6

To reflect this change, you will receive a new designation, to be decided later. You will be allowed a single parking space for you and your "companion," Charon.

The new designation affects other solar-system members who lack the orbital attendance, gravitas and sector maintenance that define your classy neighbors: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune.

That means asteroid Ceres and your newest neighbor, 2003 UB313 (the one who showed up last Halloween dressed like Xena, the TV character? Check out the pictures in the Fall newsletter!) will join you in this new membership, which we think will fit your eccentricities.

To help you feel at home, we will let you know when membership applications from other objects in the outer solar system move through the process.

However, we recognize your continued popularity with the public and the certain je ne sais quoi that your celebrity status and picture deal with Walt Disney Co. confer on the solar system.

So, we plan to send a robotic emissary to visit you in 2015 to see how you're doing. We hope you will use the upcoming years to explore new horizons and discover your hidden talents free from our gravitational restraints. Your 2006 dues will be retained to pay for this visit.

Don't forget to contact the U.S. Postal Service and all Earth school districts to notify them of your change of address. Also, NASA will now be in charge of your trash pickup and street repair.

We hope you enjoy the benefits of your new membership.

Your Solar System Neighbors, solarsystem@galaxy.net

--A.J. Hostetler

Poor little ice ball, nothing left to do but look at URANUS for the rest of eternity!!!!!

[RspctFrmCalgary]

I had heard that they were planning on adding a few planets. I guess their addition and subtraction got all mixed up (darn super-computers)

That's what I was thinking too, when I heard this on the radio the other day. :confused: ;)

If anyone watches Big Brother .... I'd have to say that Pluto just got "backdoored" big time! :eek: :D :D :p

[res54cuecaptain]

If anyone watches Big Brother .... I'd have to say that Pluto just got "backdoored" big time! :eek: :D :D :p
haha yeah guess the poor planet (sorry, poor....uhhhhhh what do we call it now? :confused: ) did.

[hwoods]

Poor pluto. No longer a planet. Now how will school kids learn the other eight planets?


My very educated mother just served us nothing.

Many veterinarians exhibit manure jammed solidly under nails.

Maybe Vern's exhaled marijuana joint smoke urged narcs.

"Miami Vice" exudes Mann's jaunty style utilizing noir.

Mathers' very explicit music job sure uses nastiness.

Monkeys value excrement messes just so uniformly now.


Here's a novel idea:
Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune. :D :D :D

[SSTONER]

"Naaaaa... we will now roll 1D20 to see whether pluto is a planet or not"
"Ah! What is Pluto's armour class?"
"Does Pluto get a saving throw?"
Okay so maybe i have played dungeons and dragons a few times when i was younger.

When you were younger? So you still do? :eek:

[PattyV]

Okay so maybe it was a few years ago. We didnt push little hoops with sticks like some people here. :cool:

[martinm]

If its been downgraded I won't be taking my holidays there then!

[FlyingKiwi]

Martin

Hope you had packed your thermal underwear. :D

[LeuitEFDems]

If anyone watches Big Brother .... I'd have to say that Pluto just got "backdoored" big time! :eek: :D :D :p
Imagine how much KY had to be used...? :rolleyes: ;)

[EastKyFF]

If its been downgraded I won't be taking my holidays there then!


You might want to reconsider, you'll get some dandy deals on hotel rooms now!

[manofire2]

last night I was looking at the void in the sky where Pluto used to be and I was filled with an intense melancholy feeling.

Next thing you know these long foreheaded folk will tell us that the earth is round.....as if.

[res54cuecaptain]

last night I was looking at the void in the sky where Pluto used to be and I was filled with an intense melancholy feeling.

Next thing you know these long foreheaded folk will tell us that the earth is round.....as if.
i know! then they are gonna say that the world revolves around the sun! everyone knows the earth is the center of the universe!