O.K. my fast-thinking friends....Situation: Roadkill

[StayBack500FT]

You have less than five seconds to respond to this crisis:

You're on a first date with a very classy person you wish to impress the pants off of (both figuratively and literally)...you're touring to the restaurant and the Lexus is spotless. Suddenly a squirrel hops out onto your path, THERE'S NO TIME TO REACT!!! THUMP-THUMP!!! This is no little bump...this is the type of shot that sends the poor rodent's pancreas out his snout as he rattles about the wheelwell like a scarf in a Maytag. She/he gasps in horror...WHAT DO YOU SAY NEXT???!!!!!????

[RadRob]

"Did you see that? That dam thing was rabid. Good thing I got him before he bit some innocent little child! Children are always trying to pet animals."

- or -

"Clean up. Aisle 4. Thank you."

[firemanpat29]

Its ok squirrels have 9 lives just like cats.

Damn I had a pet squirrel when I was a kid (bite your cheek to get eyes watery)

That little b@stard wont try that again.

You ever had squerrel ? tastes like chicken.

Im sure hes fine we just got his tail,they grow back you know just like lizzard tails.

[Bones42]

Meat's tenderized.

[lvwrench]

It's okay, I have Geico.

[RyanEMVFD]

It's a good thing I missed that squirrel and hit that bunny rabbit.

[LeuitEFDems]

I've been aiming for that little b@stard for months now...finally got the SOB!

[Firefighter8473]

Did you see that? It came out of nowhere!!!

But don't worry, there is always more to miss and hopefull hit.

[arhaney]

Dang, No more nuts for that one................

[ROOKIELZ]

Tearfully proclaim "Dear Lord, forgive me for squashing your poor little squirrel flatter than a pancake."
Which can then be used as a segueway to "Soooooo; while we are on the subject...do you like pancakes? :D

[mcaldwell]

Oh damn honey, I just had the Lexus washed. Do you mind getting that for me? ;)

[jlcooke3]

Wow, that was close. I thought he was going to make it. :)

[fireman4949]

"I'd hate to think he's laying there suffering :eek: ...I think I'll back over him just to make sure he's dead."

[spearsm]

Well, knowing my sick sense of humor-

"I bet he don't have the guts to do that again...."

[arhaney]

Well, knowing my sick sense of humor-

"I bet he don't have the guts to do that again...."


OMG, That's toooooooo funny................... :D :D :D

[RspctFrmCalgary]

"Ooops"




:D :D :D :D

[Dubbsy]

sweet, dessert.

[Plattsfire2]

"10 points."

[CaptainGonzo]

What? That? It's just a little road noise....

[hwoods]

It's okay, I have Geico.

I called my daughter, the GEICO Management person, to tell her about this one. She was impressed. I think they are going to make a revised TV commercial based on this....... :D :D :D

[Ladder8]

"Man, I hope that left a smaller dent than the %#*&@!!! dog last week...."


either that or


"Awright! One more and I'm an ace!" (reach into glovebox for squirrel shilouette).

[ffexpCP]

Let's skip the restaurant, I've got a box of roadkill helper back at my place.

[stillPSFB]

At the top of your voice
"Got 'Im"

Probably only Australians will really understand this though

[PattyV]

"Howzat!?"
:D :D :D

[FlyingKiwi]

And even with out the replay and close up shots, the rest of the world shouts back.

YOU MISSED. AGAIN!

[2andfrom]

"It's OK dearest-it was an Australian squirrel!"

[RyanEMVFD]

Dear, do you want to drive and get the next one?

[StayBack500FT]

:D :D :D

I was thinking about the old "SSQQQQIIIRRRREEEEELLLLL" line from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.


(No squirrels were harmed in the making of this thread, had this been an actual squirrel emergency, you would have been given instructions on where to go and what to do.)

[Bones42]

...my fast-thinking friends... Obviously, the squirrel does not fit into this category. :cool:

[StayBack500FT]

Bones - LMAO!!

[PattyV]

"ahhhh... i dont think that was the squirrel...i think it was the bunny jumping from the other side of the road..."

[redneckemt]

"Hey you wanna jump out and get that for me"

[RspctFrmCalgary]

"Hey you wanna jump out and get that for me"

ROTFLMFAO!

I think that's the funniest one yet! :D :D :D :D

[PattyV]

with a screen name like redneckemt im sure its actually from experience :D

[Fawlty]

" Babe, sorry you had to see that, but my family is mostly nuts, and those darn things are sworn enemies.... " :o

[Skwerl530]

"I just bagged me a spy! I wonder if there is a reward?"

http://www.randomperspective.com/page.asp?1news193

BTW: Why did it have to be a skwerl? :D

[nmfire]

Whoo hoo! Dinner!

[redneckemt]

with a screen name like redneckemt im sure its actually from experience :D


Thank God for the Tennessee Road Kill Bill.

You hit you grill it :D


And yes I have eaten road kill, but it was a deer, and the meat was real tender. :D

[pvfire424]

Dang !!!



I forgot my spatula !

[275fbvfd]

he still had nuts in his mouth
BONUS !!!!!

[firehick]

Well dinner just go cheaper....what do you want for desert? Rabit? or Opossom?

[ccfdblehman]

Someone probably already said this... but...

"5 Points!"

[martinm]

My dear....I can see that my running over a small defenceless animal has upset you greatly...lets skip dinner as it will be too upsetting for you and you need somthing to take your mind off whats happened...Your place or mine...? ;)

[protomkv]

Your place Martin, the beers better there :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[MalahatTwo7]

Silly bugger should have known better than to cross against the traffic light. And that's not at a proper crosswalk either. ;) STUPID SQUIRREL.