The Mystic Stayback will now answer your questions... [Archive] - Firehouse Forums

StayBack500FT

07-22-2005, 05:21 PM

***The Mystic Stayback now sits high upon Mt. Washington, atop Pittsburgh, PA with his Rental Monkey to answer your questions about life***

****The Mystic Stayback proceeds to snap Rental Monkey in the arse with a rubber band...disgruntled monkey strikes a gong****

KKKKKWWWWAAAANNNNNGGGG!!!!!

I am the Mystic Stayback...come to me children with your questions....

KKKKWWWWANNNNGGGGGG!!!!

***Rental Monkey snarls and returns to his bottle of Iron City beer***

Firetacoma1

07-22-2005, 05:36 PM

why do they pick bananas at night?

jaybird210

07-22-2005, 05:42 PM

Why do we park on a driveway and drive on the parkway?

Why do farts sound louder in the winter time?

Skwerl530

07-22-2005, 05:44 PM

How do I get a Rental Monkey?

StayBack500FT

07-22-2005, 05:56 PM

***SNAP, low snarl***

KWWWAAAAANNNGGGG!!!

The Mystic Stayback can no longer use blue for his color as it is friggin' impossible to scroll down and read the questions delivered to The Mystic Stayback...

Jaybird, ah Jaybird - If you are "backed up" on the parkway in the wintertime...you cannot fart at all.

***SNAP***

KKKWWWAAAANNGGG!!!

Tacoma - So the Kumquats don't get jealous.

***SNAP***

KKKWWWAAAANNNGGGGG!!!!

Skwerl - AAAAHHHHH yes...Rental Monkey...The Mystic Stayback pays the local fraternity 20 bucks a day...the Mystic Stayback has also updated all his shots as the lab at the local college seems to be missing a primate.

****SNAP****

KKKWWWAAAANNNGGGG!!!!

***Rental Monkey snarls and goes back to his Iron City***

Lewiston2Capt

07-22-2005, 05:59 PM

Mystic Stayback,
Do you have more time on your hands or are you going batty?

StayBack500FT

07-22-2005, 06:06 PM

***SNAP***

KKKWWAAAAANNNGGG!!!!

THE Mystic Stayback say...he who questions THE Mystic Stayback's time management skills doth not realize the greater good THE Mystic Stayback can provide by answering the questions of those who are lost souls.

(Wife's at work...kids are currently dumping out the toys on the living room floor:D )

***SNAP***

KKKWWWAAAANNNGGGG!!!!

pvfire424

07-22-2005, 06:18 PM

Why, when at a little league baseball game ( or any other situation where there may be objects falling from the sky) do folks look up when someone yells DUCK! , or the inverse, people duck their heads down when someone yells HEADS UP ! ?

Stick533

07-22-2005, 06:25 PM

Whatever it is you're on, where can I get some?

StayBack500FT

07-22-2005, 06:27 PM

***SNAP***

***SNAP*** Friggin' monkey!

KKKWWWAAAANNNGGG

The Mystic Stayback say...if someone yells "DUCKHEAD" or any other variation of the word at a sporting event, it usually means The Mystic Stayback is in their line of sight to the playing surface and he will soon be doused with an alcoholic beverage.

***SNAP***

KKWWAAAANNNGGG!!!!!

StayBack500FT

07-22-2005, 06:30 PM

***SNAP***

KKKWWWAAANNGGG!!!

My office chair is readily available at your local Staples or Office Depot.

***SNAP***

KKWWWAAANNNGGG!!!

MalahatTwo7

07-22-2005, 06:30 PM

Mystic Stayback, why do they call the Blue Ridge Mountains blue, when in fact they are covered by green trees?

And for all those Dark Sucker Worshipers, if "light" travels at 1.8million miles/sec, what is the speed of Dark?

Ohhh ooohhh... and what came first, The Stayback or the Stop Sign? :D eheheehehehehehe

**and yes, I have seen the "Stop Sign" :D or was that the "Light"? I always get those two mixed up LOL

One last question: Is the Rental Monkey related in anyway to the Hot Monkey Chick? (sorry T... couldn't resist) :D

StayBack500FT

07-22-2005, 06:39 PM

***SNAP***

KKWWAAANNNGGG!!!

The Mystic Stayabck say...because the Oak Ridge Boys already used "Oak Ridge" and Tom Ridge had already used "Tom". Besides it isn't easy being green.

The Mystic Stayback is not a follower of the Dark Sucker Church.

The Mystic Stayback will pretend he did not hear the stop sign question now. (:D )

***looks over at the now drunken Rental Monkey as he defaces his cage***

The Mystic Stayback believes there is nothing hot about Rental Monkey.

***SNAP***

***SNAP***

***SNAP***

KKKWWWAAAANNNNGGGGG!!!!!

ullrichk

07-22-2005, 06:43 PM

O great Mystic Stayback . . .

Can you spot me a $20 until next payday?

CaptainGonzo

07-22-2005, 06:51 PM

Oh Mystic Stayback...

Why do people point to their wrists when asking for the time? I know where my watch is... do I point to my crotch when I need to use the restroom?

ROOKIELZ

07-22-2005, 06:52 PM

Mystic Stayback:

If I were you
and you were me
Where would we be?

kentbwj

07-22-2005, 07:03 PM

Oh Great Mystical and All Knowing Stayback, I have only two questions I need answered:

When will my beloved Cleveland Browns win the Super Bowl?

When will the Cleveland Indians win the World Series?

Thank you so much for providing answers to these questions.

Firefighter1219

07-22-2005, 07:12 PM

Pardon me sir, but we are all over here:

http://cms.firehouse.com/forums2/showthread.php?s=&threadid=44226

*COUGH* ripoff

CaptainGonzo

07-22-2005, 08:16 PM

It would be a ripoff if he called himself crusty old jake...
Using that reasoning, I guess that "dear crusty old jake" is also a ripoff of dear abby... :rolleyes:

E229Lt

07-22-2005, 08:37 PM

Mystic Stainback,

Since the Giraffe has the longest tongue of all animals and is also the only animal which makes no sound, how can I safely stretch my wife's tongue?

FWDbuff

07-22-2005, 08:47 PM

Oh great and knowledgable one......

Please, once and for all.....Provide a detailed explanation of the manner in which the female's mind works??????

Oh, and here is a case of Yuengling, because I wouldnt let the monkey take a bath in that iron city p*sswater!

Steamer

07-22-2005, 10:31 PM

Originally posted by FWDbuff
Oh, and here is a case of Yuengling, because I wouldnt let the monkey take a bath in that iron city p*sswater! The monkey's drinking the good stuff, then "filling" and capping the Iron City bottles. :D

snowball

07-23-2005, 01:19 AM

Oh Mystic Stayback
Why is it that cartoons can breathe under water, but when I try I can't?:mad:

StayBack500FT

07-23-2005, 11:55 AM

***SNAP***

KKKKWWWWAAAANNNGGGGG!!!!

^^^^ SPECIAL NOTE ^^^^ The Mystic Stayback had a few (off-duty) beers late last night and feels about as good as Rental Monkey. Ugh.

ullrichk - The Mystic Stayback is not a financial institution and is not insured by the FDIC...although I do give out free lollipops.

Gonz - AHHHH!!! A very deep question...In most cases when someone is pointing at the Mystic Stayback's crotch, the point is followed by snickers and giggles. The Mystic Stayback didn't get much action in college which is still being worked out in intense therapy sessions.
***Rental Monkey points and laughs***

***SNAP***

KKKWWWAAAANNNGGGG!!!

Rookie - If I were me and you were you I would be here and you would be there, but since we are not, then I am still here and you there UNLESS it's the first Monday after Labor Day, then I would not be wearing white.

Kent - BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA!!

1219 - Pardon me sir but I believe you are actually over here...

http://cms.firehouse.com/forums2/showthread.php?s=&threadid=70850&highlight=blue+lights

E229Lt - The Mystic Stayback's advice to you is to trade wife for giraffe, but remember this...size does not matter.

FWDBuff - The Mystic Stayback enjoys having his genitalia attached to his body, thus The Mystic Stayback will refrain from descibing the female mind at this juncture. (LOL...Iron City is indeed very bad beer.)

Oprah - The Mystic Stayback will have to send you a case of Iron City.

snowball - Ummmm...cuz you're not a cartoon?:)

***SNAP***

KKKKWWWAAAAANNNGGGGGG!!!

***The Mystic Stayback disappears in a cloud of smoke***

mcaldwell

07-23-2005, 04:31 PM

Originally posted by StayBack500FT
***SNAP***

KKKKWWWWAAAANNNGGGGG!!!!

1219 - Pardon me sir but I believe you are actually over here...

http://cms.firehouse.com/forums2/showthread.php?s=&threadid=70850&highlight=blue+lights

***SNAP***

KKKKWWWAAAAANNNGGGGGG!!!

***The Mystic Stayback disappears in a cloud of smoke***

ROFLMFAO!!!!! :D

Oh Wise Mystic Stayback, Why does it hurt when I pee? :o ;)

firefighter26

07-23-2005, 05:50 PM

All knowing and wise Mystic Stayback, please, would you do me the honour of telling me what the dairy farm does with the other 98% of the milk?

StayBack500FT

07-23-2005, 11:46 PM

****SNAP****

KKWWAAAAANNGGG!!!

mcaldwell - AAAHHhhhh yesss, because the electricity has not been turned off to the fence.

26 - It is placed in the U.S. Milk Reserve...only to be used in times of crisis or election years.

****SNAP****

KKWWWAAAANNNGGGG!!!

arhaney

07-23-2005, 11:52 PM

Oh great and wise all knowing Stayback...........what happens to all the rubber that comes off of tires as we travel America's highways?

BTW, why don't they make stop signs and posts out of rubber so they don't damage cars (and people:D :p ) when they are struck!

StayBack500FT

07-24-2005, 12:06 AM

****SNAP***

KKKKWWWAAAANNNGGGG

Arhaney - The Mystic Stayback says school lunch programs benefit greatly from highway rubber these days.

(I'm all for rubber stop signs!!!)

:D

KKKKWWWAAAANNNGGG

MalahatTwo7

07-24-2005, 02:13 AM

Originally posted by StayBack500FT

(I'm all for rubber stop signs!!!)

:D

KKKKWWWAAAANNNGGG

HEHEEHEHEEHEHEEHEEHEHEHEEHEEE

Farmun

07-24-2005, 03:06 PM

Oh great Mystic Stayback...

1. Are the Steelers going to win the big game this year?

2. Can I drink beers and look at chicks (off-duty of course) with you and your monkey when I come to Pittsburgh in 2 weeks?

PS- Correct me if I am wrong but the guy who asked why they call it a parkway would now EXACTLY why if he ever traveled the Parkway East a rush hour (or any time other than 2am).

tanker5117

07-24-2005, 03:51 PM

Oh Great Mystic Stayback.............. WHY???

arhaney

07-24-2005, 04:18 PM

Farmun, Watch the Great Mystic Stayback if he should ask you to spank his monkey! :D :p :D :p :D :p

HFRH28

07-24-2005, 04:49 PM

Dear stayback,

If you put a Miller Lite, a Diet Coke, and a Coke in water will any any of these float and if so which one(s)?

spearsm

07-24-2005, 04:55 PM

Oh Great Mystic Stayback......

Why are asteroids in the hemisphere and
hemorrhoids in your arse?

RyanEMVFD

07-24-2005, 08:26 PM

Oh Great and Mystic Stayback...

Why is water wet and chlorophyll green?

paris04

07-24-2005, 11:21 PM

Who will I marry? And what will his career be?

RyanEMVFD

07-24-2005, 11:21 PM

Also how can Kobe, Japan and Florence, Italy be sister cities to the city of brotherly love- Philadelphia?

Lewie1

07-24-2005, 11:26 PM

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.

spearsm

07-25-2005, 12:06 PM

You all don't think the Mystic Stayback has fallen off of the Mountain, do you?

Or was that last "KKKKWWWAAAANNNGGGG"
the sound of the infamous non-rubber stop sign coming back for round 2?

***edited to clear up the overwhelming redneck influnces**

StayBack500FT

07-25-2005, 12:33 PM

***SNAP***

KKKWWWAAAANNNGGGG!!!

The Mystic Stayback will now answer your questions about life -

Farmun - The Mystic Stayback would be greatly pleased by a Steeler Super win!

The Mystic Stayback actually lives an hour North of Pittsburgh and only scales Mt. Washington to answer life questions.

tanker5117 - Because I can.:)

arhaney - Rental Monkey has a "No Spanking" clause in his contract.

HFRH28 - Just remember to wait an hour after eating before putting ANY of those beverages in water.

spearsm - How do yyooooouuuu know I have hemorrhoids in me arse???

Ryan - chlorophyll is green because pink trees would look stupid!!

paris - The Mystic Stayback sees a true gentleman in your future...but make sure he doesn't have a Rental Monkey as they are prone to bite and make hideous messes of themselves. **glares at the passed out Rental Monkey***

Ryan - Silly Ryan...Kobe is in Los Angeles.

Lewie - If you have more than three questions please push 1...for-o Espanolo please-o push-o two-o...If you would like to speak to a customer service representative, please push 3....BBBEEEEPPP...Please hold as all our customer service representatives are pooping.

spearsm - Never fear, The Mystic stayback sits high upon his mountain with his drunken Rental Monkey!:)

***SNAP***

KKKWWWAAANNNGG!!!

MalahatTwo7

07-25-2005, 02:06 PM

And you said "Nothing gets IN or OUT of the Bubble". :D

**I wonder does that mean that Mt Olympus is higher than the Bubble, or does the Bubble extend to include such lofty heights?** ;)

To answer the query on the sound of the non-rubberized stop sign: Judging by the reinforcements that the MOT used to make sure that it doesn't bend over again, I don't think it makes much of a KKKWWWAAAANNNGGGG!!! sound anymore. :D:D:D:D And I really don't want to be the guy who misses the intersection! :eek:

IACOJRev

07-25-2005, 02:21 PM

Oh great Miss Tickle Stayback,

What would the speed of lightning be if it didn't stop to zig-zag?

SPIPER

07-25-2005, 02:23 PM

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

adamkhalil

07-25-2005, 02:42 PM

Dear Stayback,

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

superchef

07-26-2005, 12:26 PM

Oh great and powerful Mystic Stayback

seeing as how you are a mystic you should be able to read my mind and therefore know the question before I ask it.

Soo???????????????

:D

tanker5117

07-26-2005, 12:29 PM

Oh great and powerful Mystic Stayback..........WHEN?

Tanker

Res343cue

07-26-2005, 12:34 PM

Oh great and mighty Mystic Stayback, how do the birds always aim exactly where their poo is going to land? ....Like on the back of my car.

Bones42

07-26-2005, 03:14 PM

Oh great and mighty Mystic Stayback, my 4 year old (and I'm sure many others) constantly asks......Why?

and he doesn't accept Why Not? as an answer. :rolleyes:

fflynn17

07-26-2005, 04:50 PM

Oh great and mystic Stop Sign Tester>.....

Why is it that, in my FD, it matters more what is between my legs than what is between my ears??

beastie35

07-26-2005, 05:23 PM

i need to know, all knowing Mystic Stayback...

how exactly do they cram all that graham into golden grahams?

dmleblanc

07-26-2005, 05:25 PM

Oh great and mystic Stayback...I believe that the thermos bottle is one of the greatest inventions of our time...It keeps hot stuff hot and cold stuff cold...my question is....how does it know?

Also, why didn't it work the other day when I brought some soup and a Popsicle to work?

StayBack500FT

07-26-2005, 11:26 PM

*****SNAP*****

KKKWWWAAAAANNNGGGGG!!!

27 - The Bubble is neither higher or lower...yet it is somewhere inbetween.

Rev. - The MYSTIC Stayback thinks you need more research...***hands him a metal pan with coathanger antennae***...try for a straight one and The MYSTIC Stayback will record its speed. :)

Spiper - 1. They have nade great strides in the field of coffinolgy...they now are hinged with a locking device.

2. To truly stop Windows 98 one must take a middle school class to the computer lab for 45 minutes...trust The Mystic Stayback...it won't work after that.

3. Because glue sticks don't come in a bottle.

4. The Mystic Stayback would much rather see "Mystic wins lottery"

1 Adam 12 - The Mystic Stayback has been plagued by birds for many moons...you should see the locusts when they're in town!!

Cheffie - OH MY!!! Ummmm...four times with a break in the middle. :D

tanker - When I was in college and my wedding night!:D

Res343cue - Again with the birds...MAKE THEM GO AWAY!!!

fflynn - I too keep my coffee there when driving...coffee is much better than thinking about coffee...especially in the morning.

beastie - You should be more concerned about how they make them "golden".

dmleblanc - The Mystic Stayback had a Daisy Duke thermos...for some reason everything melted in it.

The Mystic Stayback has spoken...until tomorrow children.

***SNAP***

KKKWWWAAAAANNNGGGG!!!

IACOJRev

07-27-2005, 09:04 AM

Dear Miss Tick-Stayback,

I can never get this straight... is it "feed a cold, starve a fever" or "feed a fever starve a cold"?

Signed,
Hot and Hungry
(or is it cold and hungry? Please help me!)

fireguy919

07-27-2005, 12:16 PM

Oh great and wise Mystic Stayback. Why does my wife only hear half of what I say? Why can I not hear her for three rooms away with the tv and air conditioner on? Thank you for your insight in advance.

CaptainS

07-27-2005, 01:29 PM

Oh Great One,

Was is it whenever I touch something it always breaks?

firefighter26

07-27-2005, 07:49 PM

Oh great and noble stayback, could you please tell the world were those socks go that dissapear in the washer and/or dryer?

Also, if the MYSTIC Stayback drinks 4 bottles of beer in one hour, then drinks 4 times as many in the second hour, but drinks a 3rd less than the total number of beers he had in both hours 1 and 2, passes out for an hour, then drinks 2 times the amount of beer he had in the first half an hour, plus 7..... will be be drunk enough to dance with a stop sign and let his rent-a-monkey take pictures for the new website?

www.staybackdanceswithstopsign .com

StayBack500FT

07-27-2005, 11:06 PM

***SNAP***

KKKWWAANNGGG!!!

The Mystic Stayback wishes to apologize to the esteemed Bonesy for Rental Monkey's error in missing his question yesterday...Rental Monkey has been duly punished. *** Rental Monkey feverishly searching for his beer ***

Bones - Try "Why what?" make 'em explain what they're asking...sometimes works for me.:)

Rev - Some chicken soup and an enema should clear up any problems you have.

Fireguy - You guys need to TALK LOUDER!!!!

CaptainS - Would not wanted to be your prom date if ya know what I mean.

26 - Those socks make up the lint in the lint filter.
The Mystic Stayback just got a buzz trying to figure out your second question.

*** Rental Monkey rips the place apart looking for his Iron city***

Hehehe

****SNAP***

KKKWWWAAANNNGGG!!!!

FlyingKiwi

07-28-2005, 01:12 AM

Ummmm.

How can you call yourself a Mystic

You didn't

The stic and the sign got you right between the eyeballs, it did not Mys.

KKKWWWAAANNNGGG!!!!

IACOJRev

07-28-2005, 11:53 AM

Thanks, Stayback! You were right... I'm feeling much better now. I just wish you would have warned me to let the soup cool down a bit before using it as an enema.

StayBack500FT

07-28-2005, 08:47 PM

ROTFLMAO!!!!

MalahatTwo7

07-29-2005, 08:55 AM

HEY REV! (this ones for you Buddy) :D:D:D

CaptainS

07-29-2005, 04:51 PM

Oh great one, will I be attacked by a shark on my vacation while holding a can or bottle of Guiness?

superchef

07-29-2005, 05:25 PM

Cheffie - OH MY!!! Ummmm...four times with a break in the middle.

He said thank you mystic one. 5 times with no break was wearing out the touchpad. ;) :D

MalahatTwo7

07-29-2005, 05:32 PM

Originally posted by superchef

He said thank you mystic one. 5 times with no break was wearing out the touchpad. ;) :D

AAhhhh, but you see, there's the "rub" ;) If you switch.... then 5 is easily attained......... ;)

Res343cue

07-30-2005, 12:55 AM

Mystic Stayback, I have one last question for you.

Why is it the tones go off at the wrong time, but when you're not busy, it's silent?

Is there some method to this madness, or does fate just wait to screw us every time it can?

ROOKIELZ

07-31-2005, 09:54 PM

Oh Mystic Stayback:

If your coupling gets caught in a tire at the demolition derby as you are running into the ring to put out an engine fire and you fall down are you an idiot? --sign me "just wondering:rolleyes: "

arhaney

07-31-2005, 09:57 PM

Originally posted by Res343cue
Mystic Stayback, I have one last question for you.

Why is it the tones go off at the wrong time, but when you're not busy, it's silent?

Is there some method to this madness, or does fate just wait to screw us every time it can?

Oh great one, I would love to know the answer to this one as well!

PattyV

08-01-2005, 08:20 AM

If your coupling gets caught in a tire at the demolition derby as you are running into the ring to put out an engine fire and you fall down are you an idiot? --sign me "just wondering
HAHAHAHA! In front of all those people :D
Only joking. Im sure the Mystic Stayback will deal with this hypothetical situation in the proper manner.

Whilst i am at it, why do storz fittings always twist themselves open when the fire is at its hotest and the water is needed the most?

StayBack500FT

08-01-2005, 06:21 PM

***SNAP***

KKWWAAANGG!!!

(Cheffie & 27 :D )

Res343cue - The tones are all-knowing...never fool with the tones.

Rookielz - Funny you should bring this to The Mystizzle Stabizzle...

You see I had an unfortunate event at a demolition derby. You see, a young Mystizzle went out to water down the track before the event. The grandstands were packed with people with nothing to watch but The Mystizzle and a 2" line and....The Mystizzle's WISEASS COUSIN pump-operator of which kept jacking around with Mystizzle's pressure on the line, such that The Mystizzle's balance and coordination were effected...such that Mystizzle could hear the crowd laughter over the engine as he struggled to water the track...finally The Mystizzle could only fall to the last resort...turn said nozzle on the WISEASS COUSIN...problem solved.

***SNAP***

KKKKWWWAAANNNGGG!!!

dmleblanc

08-01-2005, 10:16 PM

Oh, wise and mystical Stayback...consider this mathematical quandry....

Three guys travelling on business share a hotel room for the night, which costs $30.00. They each put up $10. Later, the desk clerk realizes he overcharged them, as the correct rate is only $25. He sends the bellhop to the guys' room to bring them back $5.00. The bellhop, realizing there's no good way to split $5.00 three ways, keeps a 2 dollar tip for himself and gives each guy 1 dollar back.

So. Each guy gets a dollar back from the 10 he originally put up, so they are each paying 9 bucks for the room. 3 x 9 is 27 bucks, plus the 2 dollars the bellhop kept equals.....29! Where'd the other dollar go?

LeuitEFDems

08-01-2005, 10:33 PM

Thanks Dwayne,
I'm gonna be up all night now trying to figure that one out!:p ;) :cool:

PFire23

08-01-2005, 10:41 PM

Originally posted by dmleblanc
Oh, wise and mystical Stayback...consider this mathematical quandry....

Three guys travelling on business share a hotel room for the night, which costs $30.00. They each put up $10. Later, the desk clerk realizes he overcharged them, as the correct rate is only $25. He sends the bellhop to the guys' room to bring them back $5.00. The bellhop, realizing there's no good way to split $5.00 three ways, keeps a 2 dollar tip for himself and gives each guy 1 dollar back.

So. Each guy gets a dollar back from the 10 he originally put up, so they are each paying 9 bucks for the room. 3 x 9 is 27 bucks, plus the 2 dollars the bellhop kept equals.....29! Where'd the other dollar go?

I'm not Stayback, but I gave this a whirl anyway....... I suck at math so I like to challenge myself LOL

If the room cost $25.00, then $25.00/3= each occupant had to pay $8.33 (will be short a penny at the end)

$8.33x3=$24.99

$24.99+$2.00 (bellhop tip)=$26.99

$26.99+$3.00 (refund)= $29.99

So the only money missing is the penny, which you will find on the ground in the parking lot.

ChiefReason

08-01-2005, 11:02 PM

Mystic Stayback:
I am not an athlete; yet, I have athlete's foot. Why is this so?
And why, if I have it on BOTH feet, they don't call it "athlete's feet?
What is the plural of deer?
Why is there only 4 seasons?
And finally, where's Waldo?
CR

LeuitEFDems

08-01-2005, 11:14 PM

Sure PFire, do it the easy way:p I guess I didn't keep to the KISS principle....I was almost into trig when I read your answer...lol At least now I don't have to worry about that problem keeping me up tonight.

Weruj1

08-02-2005, 12:37 AM

Dear Mystizzle Stabizzle...
how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood ?

arhaney

08-02-2005, 01:51 AM

Oh Great and Wise Mystizzle Stabizzle:

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Also......What exactly does a Rental Monkey eat, and how much?

PattyV

08-02-2005, 06:30 AM

Didnt dinosaurs have eggs long before chickens evolved? you dont even need the great stayback for that one.

Rayr49

08-02-2005, 07:46 AM

Oh great wise and mystic one!

My nose runs and my feet smell. Does this mean I'm built upside down?

Stay Safe
IACOJ

Emberxx

08-02-2005, 10:03 PM

Oh Great and Wondrous Mystic Stayback....

If the answer to Life, the Universe and Everthing is 42...then what is the question?

Skwerl530

08-02-2005, 10:28 PM

If the answer to Life, the Universe and Everthing is 42...then what is the question?

Stayback, I got your back on this one...

The answer is "What is 6 * 9?"

Emberxx

08-02-2005, 10:31 PM

~laughing...shaking my head at Skwerl530

PattyV

08-03-2005, 09:18 AM

If an orange is called an orange cause its orange, why isnt a lemon called a yellow cause its yellow?

and for the the question that can only be asked by an annoying nephew: why?^infinity

Lewiston2Capt

08-03-2005, 11:50 AM

Originally posted by ChiefReason
Mystic Stayback:
Why is there only 4 seasons?
And finally, where's Waldo?
CR

In NY there are 5 seasons, Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring, and Road repair season.

Waldo lives in Michigan. I know I spoke with him a while ago.

Weruj1

08-03-2005, 12:26 PM

where is the clairvoiant Stayback..????? We got questions and HE has the answers !

adamkhalil

08-03-2005, 01:31 PM

Originally posted by Weruj1
Dear Mystizzle Stabizzle...
how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood ?

Everyone knows that if a woodchuck could chuck wood, that he would chuck all that he could chuck.

MalahatTwo7

08-05-2005, 01:13 PM

Oh Great And Wonderous Mystic Stayback, why is it when I see this sign, I get this KKKKAAAWWWWWWAANNNGGGGG sound gonging through my head?

Weruj1

08-05-2005, 01:46 PM

Last I saw Stayback he was selling stuff on eBay...... http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=4753796441&rd=1&sspagename=STRK%3AMEWA%3AIT&rd=1

Bones42

08-05-2005, 04:33 PM

Oh Mystic, where did my beloved firehouse forums go?

MalahatTwo7

08-07-2005, 04:13 PM

Where.. oh where is he? Maybe the boys got to be too big a handful for him after all ;) LOL

skyraider

08-07-2005, 07:15 PM

Oh Mystical One....if I'm on-duty, can I post in the Off-Duty Discussion Forum?

captstanm1

08-07-2005, 07:23 PM

Stayback,.........why do we get dispatched to nursing homes for "altered mental status....??? Isn't everyone there in an altered mental status???

BC79er

08-08-2005, 10:31 AM

What is Equal equal to?

And if it's only Equal to it, why does it cost more?

For my money, don't I deserve to be getting 'Better'?

Dave404

08-08-2005, 11:54 AM

I think the monkey got the best of him ;) Ok I cant resist - hes out spanking the .............. :eek:

Emberxx

08-08-2005, 11:58 AM

MalahatTwo7

08-08-2005, 01:29 PM

Captstan, I think my favorites are the ones where we are called for "altered mental status" and the individual in question has a hx of dementia, alzhiemers, and the nurse tells you "yes, this is their normal mentation, but..."!

That was something I could never understand: if it is the pt's "normal state", then how is it altered? Did they get better? Inquiring minds would like to know. :confused:

arhaney

08-08-2005, 02:39 PM

Oh Great one...................When the Heck are they going to start releasing grants, and will my FD be on the list? :confused:

arhaney

08-12-2005, 09:53 PM

Paging MS..........Paging MS.........Come in MS..........

StayBack500FT

08-12-2005, 11:12 PM

The Mystic Stayback is IN DA HOUSE!!!

(I have been quite busy finding time for a workout schedule in my life, plus taking care of two youngsters.)

27 - Veeery nice!! Yes folks, that is indeed the prodigal stop sign!!

***SNAP***

KKWWAAANNGGG!!!

Weruj - The Mystic Stayback sees...sees...sees...$86.00 for an Emergency Companion Guide in his future!!! Good deal to me for something that was just collecting dust!!

arhaney - Only after the Mystic Stayback's fire company is taken care of!!

Shawn - Thanks for taking care of the Mystic Stayback's light work!!

Captstan - People say The Mystic Stayback's mental status is always altered..go figure??

BC79er - Equal is a sugar substitute.

Dave - Da Monkey knows his role.

Bonesy - I go away and they CHANGE EVERYTHING!! I'm afraid to go on vacation!!!

skyraider - only on every other Wednesday.

Emberxx - 7

PattyV - Ummmm...cuz they're lemons???

***SNAP***

KKKWWWAAAANNNGGGG

arhaney

08-12-2005, 11:24 PM

WHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW

Collective sigh of relief from everyone! We thought perhaps the forum gremlins had got you! :D :p :D :p

snowball

08-13-2005, 01:11 AM

Oh Mystic Stayback, why with the thousands of people who are on this site, posting far more than me, am I the 100th poster on this thread?
-sno

StayBack500FT

08-13-2005, 04:06 PM

***SNAP***

KKWWAAAANNGGGG

Snowball - Few will ask...but many will benefit.

***SNAP***

KKKWWWAAANNNGGG

ChiefReason

08-13-2005, 04:14 PM

Oh, Mystic One:
Why are several mobile homes in an area called a "trailer park", but several houses in an area are called "gated communities"?
CR

superchef

08-13-2005, 05:15 PM

oh Mystic One..

why is it, the more you learn, the less you feel like you know?

cheffie :confused:

firenresq77

08-13-2005, 11:09 PM

He's Alive !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

StayBack500FT

08-13-2005, 11:10 PM

***SNAP**

KKWWAAANGGG

CR - So the tornadoes can find them on a map.

Cheffie - So you don't become a Know-it-all...you are a Learn-it-all, which sounds much better on a resume' :)

***SNAP***

KKKWWWAAANNNGGG

StayBack500FT

08-13-2005, 11:14 PM

PFDTruck2

08-13-2005, 11:37 PM

Oh Mystic one

Why is it the police always park right where you need to lower the outriggers?

superchef

08-14-2005, 12:22 AM

***SNAP***

KKKWWWAAANNGGG

Children...What does the phrase "Everybody Wang Chung tonight..." represent?

***SNAP***

KKKWWWAAAANNNGGGG

a diversion from sanity? :confused:

ChiefReason

08-14-2005, 01:48 AM

Children...What does the phrase "Everybody Wang Chung tonight..." represent?
It is an obscure reference/suggestion to go out and get smacked by a stop sign. "Wang Chung" is the noise that the sign makes when you hit it with your face.
But, then, oh Mystic One; you probably already knew that!
CR

FF2BKE

08-14-2005, 11:01 AM

Oh great Mystic,

Will I be blessed with some elk during my december elk hunt? :D

(I got drawn for the hunt, vacation time approved, so I'm 2/3 there!) :D

Ladder8

08-14-2005, 12:23 PM

Oh Mystic One (and company),

Is the Rental Monkey moonlighting as the Trunkmonkey?

http://www.trunkmonkeyad.com/

If so, what is his (her?) going rate?

Dave1983

08-14-2005, 01:23 PM

It is an obscure reference/suggestion to go out and get smacked by a stop sign. "Wang Chung" is the noise that the sign makes when you hit it with your face.
But, then, oh Mystic One; you probably already knew that!
CR

LMAO! :D :D

StayBack500FT

08-14-2005, 02:24 PM

***SNAP***

KKKWWAAANNNGGG

CR!!!! That would be "TWANG Chung"...I think you have confused the two.

Ladder8 - Last I knew, Rental Monkey only moonlights as a stripper...go figure?

FF2BKE - I can only say Elf hunting is best done in December as those little rascals are plentiful around the 25'th...just don't expect any Christmas gifts this year.

Cheffie - My whole life is a diversion from sanity. :)

Dave - OAML!!!!

***SNAP***

KKKWWWAANNNGGG

arhaney

08-14-2005, 03:16 PM

I was told by a secret source that your monkey has been moonlighting as the bathroom monkey from SNL, due to his low pay by MS!

turnout733

08-15-2005, 12:17 AM

Mystic Stayback...

I apologize for not answering your question, i am awaiting enlightment...

My question is, does your monkey have a lovelife? I have an ex-wife deserving of his attention.

MalahatTwo7

08-15-2005, 11:02 AM

***SNAP***

KKKWWWAAANNGGG

The Mystic Stayback will now pose a question to you, children...to see what you have learned...

Children...What does the phrase "Everybody Wang Chung tonight..." represent?

***SNAP***

KKKWWWAAAANNNGGGG

I thought that it was some obscure reference to a particular brand of computer. I've had the doubious honor (?) of working with a Wang in the office. It was one of the first computers that I very seriously broke. It had a minor melt down, and smoke issued forth. :D :cool:

So when you "Wang Chung" isn't that when your Wang starts to melt down, you toss it out the window for fear that it might actually self destruct on your desk? Or is that when you "install a new driver" using a 1 Wood? ;)