RspctFrmCalgary
12-02-2003, 02:32 PM
Sorry to my FDNY friends, but this was all over the front page of the paper today in Calgary - the respected one not the rag mag!! I just don't get these women who expect their husband's bosses to ORDER the firefighters to go back to their wives (there was another story on FH awhile ago about another scorned woman who wanted her husband's fire chief to tell him to get back together with her). Yes its very sad for the women whose husbands left them for other 911 widows, but I don't think anyone's bosses should be able to dictate or order someone to return to their spouse, no matter what the circumstances. Who are we to say that these men and women didn't fall in love. Of course the wives would feel betrayed, but how can you put this on the fire department??? Even if these folk aren't in love and its just a fling it has NOTHING to do with the fire department, it has to do with the character and morality of the two people involved in the relationship.
9/11 heroes leave wives for comfort of widows
New York fire department's 'dirty little secret' exposed
Steven Edwards
CanWest News Service
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
Gerry Koenig left his wife.
John Bergin died in attack.
Mary Koenig, left, lost her husband Gerry to 9/11 widow Madeline Bergin, a former friend.
CREDIT: New York Post
Flames of passion have overcome at least a dozen New York City firefighters assigned to console the widows of their fallen 9/11 comrades.
They have dumped their own wives to start new relationships with the women they were comforting, and several of the spurned wives are furious with the fire department, accusing it of doing nothing to intervene.
But appointing a liaison to the family of a fallen fellow firefighter has been New York fire department practice for 100 years, though not officially condoned. The liaison is supposed to act as a surrogate "head of family" who offers a shoulder to cry on.
The story of the broken marriages came to light Monday as Mary Koenig told of her breakup with her firefighter husband, Gerry, in an interview with the New York Post. "It's disgusting, heartbreaking, what they've done," she said.
"Not only have these men dishonoured their own families, they've dishonoured the memories of men who are heroes, who were their brothers," said Koenig, a mother of two.
The Post says its investigation has uncovered at least 12 cases where a firefighter has left his own family for that of a 9/11 widow.
Psychologists say it is only to be expected that firefighters, whose job it is to save people, risk falling in love in such situations. Mental health experts noted a similar pattern in the aftermath of the Oklahoma City bombing in 1995.
The firefighters see the widows as "damsels in distress" at a time when they too are overcome by emotion, explained Gilda Carle, a psychotherapist. Most vulnerable, she said, are firefighters who have been in a marriage for a long time, where both partners take one another for granted.
Koenig has launched a one-woman campaign to have legislation or department rules written that would mandate senior officers to supervise the liaison program.
She said Gerry walked out on her for the widow of his friend John Bergin, who was one of the department's 343 firefighters who died in the collapse of the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001.
At Mary Koenig's request, Gerry Koenig's captain ordered him to return to his wife. But he ignored the order.
Any legislation, she said, should be called the John Bergin Act as a reminder of one family it affected.
The fire department was eager Monday to downplay what Koenig called its "dirty little secret."
While refusing to comment on specific cases, spokesman David Billig said the department had been "very proactive" in seeking ways to help bereaved families get over their losses. It hired more than 300 counsellors, he explained.
© Copyright 2003 Calgary Herald
9/11 heroes leave wives for comfort of widows
New York fire department's 'dirty little secret' exposed
Steven Edwards
CanWest News Service
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
Gerry Koenig left his wife.
John Bergin died in attack.
Mary Koenig, left, lost her husband Gerry to 9/11 widow Madeline Bergin, a former friend.
CREDIT: New York Post
Flames of passion have overcome at least a dozen New York City firefighters assigned to console the widows of their fallen 9/11 comrades.
They have dumped their own wives to start new relationships with the women they were comforting, and several of the spurned wives are furious with the fire department, accusing it of doing nothing to intervene.
But appointing a liaison to the family of a fallen fellow firefighter has been New York fire department practice for 100 years, though not officially condoned. The liaison is supposed to act as a surrogate "head of family" who offers a shoulder to cry on.
The story of the broken marriages came to light Monday as Mary Koenig told of her breakup with her firefighter husband, Gerry, in an interview with the New York Post. "It's disgusting, heartbreaking, what they've done," she said.
"Not only have these men dishonoured their own families, they've dishonoured the memories of men who are heroes, who were their brothers," said Koenig, a mother of two.
The Post says its investigation has uncovered at least 12 cases where a firefighter has left his own family for that of a 9/11 widow.
Psychologists say it is only to be expected that firefighters, whose job it is to save people, risk falling in love in such situations. Mental health experts noted a similar pattern in the aftermath of the Oklahoma City bombing in 1995.
The firefighters see the widows as "damsels in distress" at a time when they too are overcome by emotion, explained Gilda Carle, a psychotherapist. Most vulnerable, she said, are firefighters who have been in a marriage for a long time, where both partners take one another for granted.
Koenig has launched a one-woman campaign to have legislation or department rules written that would mandate senior officers to supervise the liaison program.
She said Gerry walked out on her for the widow of his friend John Bergin, who was one of the department's 343 firefighters who died in the collapse of the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001.
At Mary Koenig's request, Gerry Koenig's captain ordered him to return to his wife. But he ignored the order.
Any legislation, she said, should be called the John Bergin Act as a reminder of one family it affected.
The fire department was eager Monday to downplay what Koenig called its "dirty little secret."
While refusing to comment on specific cases, spokesman David Billig said the department had been "very proactive" in seeking ways to help bereaved families get over their losses. It hired more than 300 counsellors, he explained.
© Copyright 2003 Calgary Herald