I bet you never seen this before!!!!!!!

[nycgal]

A Real story........the victim's name will remain anonymous (wasnt me).

The first mammogram is the worst. Especially when the machine catches on fire. That's what happened to me. The technician, Gail, positioned me exactly as she wanted me (think a really complicated game of Twister- right hand on the blue, left shoulder on the yellow, right breast as far away as humanly possible from the rest of your body). Then she clamped the machine down so tight, I think my breast actually turned inside out. I'm pretty sure Victoria's Secret doesn't have a bra for that.

Suddenly, there was a loud popping noise. I looked down at my right
breast to make sure it hadn't exploded. Nope, it was still flat as a pancake and still attached to my body.

"Oh no!" Gail said loudly. These are, perhaps, the words you least
want to hear from any health professional.

Suddenly, she came flying past me, her lab coat whipping behind her,
on her way out the door. She yelled over her shoulder, "The machine's on fire,I'm going to get help!"

OK, I was wrong, 'The machine's on fire,' are the worst words you can hear from a health professional. Especially if you're all alone and semi-permanently attached to A MACHINE and don't know if it's THE
MACHINE in question.

I struggled for a few seconds trying to get free, but even Houdini
couldn't have escaped. I decided to go to plan B: yelling at the top my lung (the one that was still working).

I hadn't seen anything on fire, so my panic hadn't quite reached epic
proportions. But then I started to smell smoke coming from behind the
partition. "This is ridiculous," I thought. I can't die like
this.What would they put in my obituary? Cause of death: breast entrapment?

I may have inhaled some fumes because I started to hallucinate. An
imaginary fireman rushed in with a firehose and a hatchet.

"Howdy,ma'am," he said.

"What's happened here?" he asked, averting his eyes.

"My breasts were too hot for the machine," I quipped, as my imaginary
fireman ran out of the room again. "This is gonna take the Jaws of
Life!"

In reality, Gail returned with a fire extinguisher and put out the
fire.She gave me a big smile and released me from the machine.

"Sorry! That's the first time that's ever happened. Why don't you take a few minutes to relax before we finish up?"

I think that's what she said. I was running across the parking lot in my backless paper gown at the time. After I'd relaxed for a few hours,I figured I might go back. But I will bring my own fire extinguisher.

[explr985]

:eek:

[MalahatTwo7]

I guess she was not hooked up to the "machine that goes PING.....????? Everyone knows that the machine that goes ping is the most expensive machine in the Hospital, and that after the Hospitial developed it, they sold it to the company that built it, so that it could be leased back. Thereby making it a yearly expenditure rather than a capital purchase.

But in all seriousness, if the story is true, then it really does not give a person much confidence in the medical system or their methods.

[wyesguy24]

Certainly not professional running out after saying the word fire and leaving a patient stuck in a machine.

Malahat27- someone from the rock, a fellow
buckethead and a Python fan wow I thought I was the only one :D

[blaze79]

Well, this story seems kind of ridiculous. Would a medical technician in charge of your health really leave you standing there if the machine in question was on fire? I don't think so. That seems a little bit strange to me. And the whole hallucination seemed totally made up. One more thing - if MY breast was stuck in there, I'd pull it out and run. Wouldn't you?

[jaybird210]

My breasts aren't big enough to get stuck anywhere. At least, by themselves.


P.S. I think the hallucination part was made up for dramatic effect. You women are always full of drama.:rolleyes: :p

[EastKyFF]

Originally posted by jaybird210
My breasts aren't big enough to get stuck anywhere. At least, by themselves.


P.S. I think the hallucination part was made up for dramatic effect. You women are always full of drama.:rolleyes: :p

See the "Helllppp!" thread for an explanation of why Jaybird says this kind of stuff.

Maybe the fire was deliberately set to distract the patient from the pain of having her boob squished flat.

[MikeF25]

This kind of stuff does happen.

I was sitting in an EMT class getting ceu's and one of the students was talking about her experiance doing clinicals at the ER.

They were getting vitals on a pt. and the fire alarm went off. After searching they found in the next room the Defibillator was on fire.
Luckily no one was attached to it and no one was in that room. The ER staff put the fire out and all was well.

Maybe the nurse set a new precedent on fire rescue. Try this sometime you are in a structure fire you find a trapped occupant. Yell to them "hold on the building is on fire I am going to get help!!" :p


So just think next time you hook someone up you can either save them or cook them.:D

[jaybird210]

Try this sometime you are in a structure fire you find a trapped occupant. Yell to them "hold on the building is on fire I am going to get help!!"

Now, Mike, think of your FFIII training: It's called "Protect in place." Even if that place is the room next door.....:rolleyes: