Helllllllppppppp!!!!!!

[MikeF25]

Help! I will offically be off the market on 4/19/03 as I am getting married. Not like the market had much buisness. Anyway I need to find a good hiding place before that date to disappear to. Because I am scared to death.

[MIKEYLIKESIT]

I would love to offer you some advice,but alas I am still "on the market"..Good Luck....sucker.. JUST KIDDING:D

[Bones42]

Marriage is still considered one of the largest pyramid schemes going. Once a guy gets married, he suckers (I mean convinces) his friends, it's a great thing to do. Of course, that's just because he wants all his friends to suffer just as much as he is.
:D

[jaybird210]

Mike, I am uniquely qualified to help you in this category. I have been successsfully avoiding the very trap of which you speak for many years now.

First, run like hell. What are you thinking?!?! Are you insane!?!?!? You let the little head do the thinkin' for the big head, and now you are in big trouble. It may be too late, but we'll try, nonetheless.

Second, call her from a far off place. Vegas is a good start, but Hawaii or even Austrailia would be better. Tell her you are having some "misgivings" and will call her back ASAP. Then, conveniently forget to call. I assure you that within fourteen to eighteen months, she will have given up on you. In the meantime, change your name and take on a new identity.

This should work. Unless she is really tenatious, in which case, you're screwed. She will hunt you down like the scurvy dog you are and drag your pour a$$ back to the altar. Ultimately, I think that's the fix you are in.

Seriously, congradulations, brother. Best of luck to you. Now, kindly get your a$$ over to the Illinois threads. You have failed to post there since their inception, and there is an extensive birthday thread FOR YOU that has gone unread. Thank you.

[superchef]

Mike-First--Congratulations to you. She is one lucky lady. As for you being scared and needing a temporary hiding place-the weather is very nice here in San Fran.:D

I am kidding. You are supposed to be scared. This is the biggest step in your life. You will be fine. When the big day gets here, you will probably be the first one at the church. Best wishes to you and your bride to be on a lifetime of happiness (and then the babies start coming!):D

[E229Lt]

Do your research:



-------------------------------------
Material Safety Data Sheet (MSDS)

Element: Woman

Symbol: Wo118

Discoverer: Adam

Atomic mass: Accepted as 118 but may vary from 100 to 460 pounds

Occurrence: Copious quantities in all populated areas


Physical Properties

1. Surface usually covered with painted film.

2. Boils at nothing. Freezes without reason.

3. Melts if given special treatment.

4. Bitter if incorrectly used.

5. Founds in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.

6. Yields to pressure when applied to correct points.


Chemical Properties

1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and other precious metals.

2. Absorbs great quatities of expensive substances.

3. May explode spontaneously if left alone with a male.

4. Insoluble in liquids but activity greatly increases by saturation in alcohol.

5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.


Uses: Highly ornamental, great aid in relaxation.

Tests: Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state;

Turns green beside a better specimen.

Hazards: Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Illegal to possess more than one.

[1835Wayne]

Just remember, the reason there is booze at the reception is to help you try to forget that you said 'I do.':D :D

Congratulations!!(I guess........;) )

[blaze79]

Just to let you guys know, I'm a female. Now, why would you get married if you weren't absolutely sure you wanted to? That's a very serious mistake. You don't want to get married and then 2 years later have to get a divorce, right?? So then you have to make sure that marriage is totally what you want, and that you're positive that the woman that's wearing that very expensive engagement ring is the one that you want to grow old with. She's going to have your children, help support you through hard times, and of course, clean your dirty underwear. You have to make sure that you want to be with this women 24 hours a day and 7 days a week for the rest of your life. If you're not sure, then don't do it!!! Good luck with your decisions.

I'm not going to get married either. Why ruin a good thing when you can just have happy, fun sex and all that other stuff?

[1835Wayne]

God love ya lass!!

[jaybird210]

I'm not going to get married either. Why ruin a good thing when you can just have happy, fun sex and all that other stuff?

That is, far and away, the second coolest thing I have EVER heard from a woman.

[1835Wayne]

The first being what? Or is it unprintable here??:eek:

[jaybird210]

Wayne, my friend, I can't go into specifics here. However, I will tell you that the coolest thing I have ever heard from a chick, is DIRECTLY related to the second......:eek: :D :D :D :cool:

[superchef]

I can always count on you guys to make me smile....:D

I will however refrain from saying the third coolest thing a lass could say...I'll leave it to the imagination........:D

Hey, we should give Mike a bachelor party. Hasn't been a good one since we roasted 26. ;)

[RspctFrmCalgary]

How 'bout Canada, Mike? I noticed Victoria, BC is hiring firefighters heheheh

Wayne and Jay ..... :rolleyes: :rolleyes: HAHAHA

Cheffie if you're looking for an excuse to throw a party .... there is a certain someone having a 40th birthday REALLLLLL soon
:D :D

[ffighterangel]

I could NOT resist this thread. You guys are funny! But let me give you some hope, my friend. I'm guessing the most important thing you are afraid of is "not gettin' any", huh? As a MARRIED woman of 11 years, I find that the more I get, the more I WANT. Good luck to you. I have a feeling you'll be glad you made the choice. LOL

[ChiefReason]

Mike:
Go to your local library. Who would think to look there?
And while you're at it; go to the magazine section and pick up "Psychology Today".
Have you met blaze79? I think that she could quite possibly have caused heart palpitations in half the men who post here?
I thought it was the caffeine. No; it was definitely blaze's post.
Honey; start cooking the taters. Daddy's comin' home!:D
CR

[CollegeBuff]

Oh, I bet I've got one that could be right up there...

Put it this way- she started the statement (question actually) off with, "Can I come over and......" :D ;)

[jaybird210]

Numbers three and four have just been replaced. The new occupants are:

I find that the more I get, the more I WANT.

and

"Can I come over and......"

Ya know, that's really kind of a stupid question. "Uh, no honey. I'm really busy. I have to change my oil or somethin'" Duh. I mean, really.:rolleyes: :p :D

[firenresq77]

Mike - Congrats (I think)

Blaze79 - Wanna NOT get married to me???????????

[Weruj1]

I will add just a couple of things ........well maybe 3
1) RUN !!!!!!!!!!!
2) BE SCARED !
3) They will change BEFORE you know it !

[Anyway]

I think I am seeing another Bachelor Party comin on...

Whips out the Guinness and screams "LETS PARTY!!!"

[martinm]

"Marriage is an institution...I'm MUCH to young to be in an institution!"

Seriously, congratulations and best wishes to you and yours. If there is a reception, I will dust off my polyester dinner suit and dancing pumps:D

[MikeF25]

the fun sex thing is an interesting idea.

To late on she will have your kids got one already.
Who might I add loves firetrucks more than me:D

I do love her and I am excited about Saturday.

Well now I just got to keep my hands to myself and I sould be OK.

Or just keep it from her:eek:

Man I hope she doesn't read this

[FireSarge]

just remember breathe in breathe out "i do"

get drunk "i do"


wedding night "i definatly do"


but i cant help you much after that run like hell would be my advice but her daddy might hunt you down and kill you so if you decided stay

:p


btw congrats do you want your funeral now or later:p

[EastKyFF]

A woman marries a man thinking he will change.

A man marries a woman thinking she never will.

As of July 18, I'm five years in...good times, bad times, and a beautiful little girl. No regrets!

[blaze79]

Good luck to your future life in marriage. You'll be just fine.

You guys are great. I'm enjoying your reactions to my post. :p
I didn't realize that I would cause such an uproar, but I love it!! hahahahaha

[1835Wayne]

You ain't seen nothin yet!! Check out the IACOJ fairy tale thread!

[fflynn17]

Have a fantastic weekend Mike!!!

I got married last July, it was a great party and a big improvement in life!!

Pass the beer!!

[psychospitfire]

You know, Blaze isn't the only girl that thinks like that!! I completely agree with her post, why screw up a good thing when you can just have all sorts of fun. No offense to the married people, I think you are all very lucky, not to mention brave. I admit, someday I too will likely get married, but for right now, bring on the fun.:D

[Bones42]

anyone else thinking of a long weekend trip to Canada? :D

[RspctFrmCalgary]

There are four kinds of sex

HOUSE SEX -
When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX -
After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX -
After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "**** YOU"

COURTROOM SEX -
When your wife and her lawyer **** you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.

PERSONAL ADVISE
-----------------

DO NOT GET MARRIED IN ORDER TO ENJOY SEX IN ALL THE ROOMS OF ANYHOUSE OF YOUR CHOICE


Not edited for bad potty mouth words ..... so use your imagination when they get censored :D :D

Congratulations Mike, have a great time this weekend!

[1835Wayne]

I for one am just about ready to MOVE to Canada so I can meet all these lovely ladies!!

[jaybird210]

So, Sheri, does this mean that if I try to pick up a girl in a bar and she says, "**** You!!" that makes it bar sex?!?:D :D :cool:

[RspctFrmCalgary]

LMFAOOOOOOOO

Talking from experience Jay??? :D :D

[baudyna]

THE CAR SEX,that is before they get home,and after the court sex,it starts all over again,except that this time you are a divorced and more experienced, and you sure know,that you will stay away the bedroom sex,and then you can live happily ever after.You are even allowed to make statements like:"Could our relationship be more physical?I'm tired of being just friends," or "I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow!"LOL.Well,just my opinium.Anyway girls,thinking about comming down to Florida for vacation??


P.S Mike25,congrats and don't be scared,if I could survive it,anybody can.HEHE.

[RspctFrmCalgary]

Hey I didn't write that LMFAOOOOOOO its an email I received.

[MikeF25]

No longer single. Well I became married on 4/19/03. All went well and I hope it continues to.

I started this thread thinking of all of the negatives of being married so let's change the tone of it shall we.

Let's look at all of the pluses for being married.

1)
2)
3)
4)
5)

Ok so I can't think of any, anyone want to help :D

Thanks for everything you folks are great!

[FireSarge]

when some ugly lady tries to get with you after you save her you can say you are married

[blaze79]

Well, you have the assurance that nobody else gets to touch your wife but you.

[jaybird210]

Mike, you are off to a tough start, my friend!

Congrats, anyway!!:D :D

[superchef]

Mike- Congrats!!!!

Best wishes to you and your new wife!

As for the pluses of being married....

1. ;)
2. :D
3. :cool:
4. :eek:
5. :D

[Temptaker]

Mike

Congrats!

btw... the more I get, the more I want thing is true ;)

Bones,

Anytime! PFire and I were already discussing the possibility of a "crusty campout" on the island.

Just imagine it... the portable HT, the Guinness, PFire's stand of many wonders, and the jello pool! Let's not forget the legality of being topless here :D Let the games begin! ;)

[ChiefReason]

Mike:
You couldn't come up with any ++++ of marriage?
Well, that's a first anniversary celebration I will be dying to hear about.
I have a few:
Someone to "share" your bad days with.
Someone to "share" your good days with.
Someone to help you when you're sick.
Someone to pal around with.
Someone to enjoy your humor with.
Someone to keep you honest.
Someone to appreciate when they are away.
Someone to greet when they return.
Someone to grow old with.
Someone to wash; someone to dry.
Someone to file jointly with.
I have my someone. I am happy that you have found yours.
Enjoy the rest of your life together.

AND DON'T EVER COME HERE FOR MARITAL ADVICE AGAIN! :D
CR:cool:

[StayBack500FT]

Don't forget the joy that comes from her pets....

**Looks down to watch the cat wash his a$$ with his tongue on the new carpet**


***sigh***