Posting before thinking...good job webteam!!

[ALSfirefighter]

First, I'd like to say thank you to the webteam for flagging that thread so quickly, you know which one I'm referring to. In fact, if you can...I'd recommend that one disappear.

DFDEX1, (read this entire post before if you decide to answer)
I've seen you post some pretty good things around here. But I do have to tell you that your thread which was appropriately shut down quickly, is one of the worst I have ever seen. Now before you go off half-cocked again, I understand you may have lost a friend, but you know what, we all have at some point in our lives, and for some of us more then we ever should have. What should have keyed you in to not posting that thread was the fact that you ended it with an apology and stating that you may delete it later. You purposely attacked someone who asked a simple question that any one of us would have if we had seen your post. For many LODD's are a tragedy, as well a hard lesson when it comes out why it happened. I also took exception to how you made presumptions about the brother who asked you questions in regards to has he ever felt or seen this or that.... How do you know what he has or hasn't. I had the same question mark in my head about your post...where, how and why? And I can tell you sir, that I have been there numerous times as Marine, former police officer, firefighter & paramedic. Not only with friends or co-workers, but family members. I understand the grief and anger that follows when such things happen, but we still have to maintain control, and even more importantly professionalism. It would have been more appropriate to simply say that you will post details later, or give a quick reply stating some basics so those who may wanted to have given your friend more personal respect then a post that he or his organization would more then likely never see. You took the time to post your first thread, you could have taken the time to politely answer a simple question. For most of us a LODD death is a shocking and unwanted surprise, and it is normal human physcology to want to know as much information as possible pertaining to things of that nature.
______________________________ ___________
I.A.C.O.J. Bureau of EMS Chairman

[captstanm1]

ALSFirefighter...Very well put. As you said...I have also been there when friends passed. It is not easy for any of us.

I thought that we had had some discussions with DFDEX1 and were beginning to mold him in the right direction. I guess he did not learn his lesson. I responded to his post with a sad face to express my condolences even though the information was vague.

I also support the WEBTEAM in the closing of that thread and hope tht if they let DFDEX1 back on the Forums....he will have finally learned to be a bit more discrete and refined in his comments.

[E229Lt]

If this guy lost a freind and a brother, he has many issues he is dealing with. He's young and maybe just got his first taste of the dark side of our job.

We all deal with these things in different ways, some of us withdraw and others lash out. It's part of the process and part of the job we love. We stand by each other and do our best to console one and other. We understand the hundreds of different ways the emotions of these loses manifest themselves.

DFDEX1: I'm truly sorry for the loss of your freind and I understand how pissed off you are. You need to blow off some steam and you should. I DO know how you feel and if you want to, drop me an email and we can hook up on a AOL IM or some other venue. My email is:
E229lt@yahoo.com. I'm your brother and I want to help.

To the webteam, you pulled the plug too soon here!

Peace!

[webteam]

We closed the thread because a user personally attacked another user. We understand the situation and the need to 'blow off steam', but that does NOT excuse attacking another user for posting a simple question. Especially given the past history of the specific user. We have instituted a full zero tolerance policy on bashing other users for no reason.

Thanks
WebTeam

[E229Lt]

With all due respect to the webteam, I read and re-read his post and don't see where he "attacked and/or bashed anyone. Past history is just that, in the past.

The actions of shutting down a brother, like him or not, when he is coping in his own way, rather than allowing some input from some other members of these boards, who may have gone throught a LODD or two, is a little short of tolerant. I am expressing my opinion and not "bashing" the decision.

Every day, it seems, I have a new Johnny walking in the door. Each of them has their own way. I may take an instant dislike to one, but that doesn't take away my moral responsibility to make him grow into a good firefighter. If I were to shut him out, he's doomed to learn our job on his own. We all know this doesn't result in a well rounded firefighter.

Again, I ask you, re-read the post in question and tell me where you see an attack. If it is nothing more than the use of uppercase type and a few :mad: smilies, I think you'll agree, he was looking for help and was denied.

Just my opinion.

Respectfully submitted,
A Concerned Brother

[webteam]

Regardless of any circumstance, any situation ... do not bash another user. End of story. Report them if you have a problem with one, but don't bash them here.

Smiles following bashing someone simply for asking a question days before can be read just as many ways as the orignial question.

Based on the past history of the poster, we read it the way we felt appropriate. You are free to disagree. But thats not going to change anything.

Yes, he was looking for help and he wasn't denied it simply by closing a thread. If you want to reach out to help him, e-mail him, or private message him, or post a new thread.

But the way these boards have been going with member-on-member attacks in mutiple threads, we will act to close any thread immediately where we perceive it happens, or it is reported. This particular post was reported three times before we chose to respond and close it.

Thank you
WebTeam

[Weruj1]

WOW !!!! I can tell that DFDEX1 was upset but he just needed to think ....... I am sorry for his loss and if he wuld get us some mor einfo we could support him better.:eek:

[Firefighter631]

Some people just dont get it, someone trys and trys to help them out and give them advice. Goes in one side and out the other.




Webteam:
Yall are doin a fine job, keep up the good work.

[FF.1205]

I hafta agree with Lt. on this one. After reading it I didn't see any adjectives used in his response towards HFD and that I would consider a personal attack also I would ask if HFD offended by his post?

Also mentioned in his post and this is not a quote but he did mention he didn't mean any disrespect to anyone.

He lost a Friend/Brother. I ask where is the patience in us that have been through it everyone one deals with it differently the important thing is that he deals with it. Otherwise their is chance we all will be reading about them later.

The offer is there talk to the Lt. feel free to email me if you like.

FTM, PTB, RFB
FDNY 343

[webteam]

dfdex has been reinstated.

Earlier today, he forwarded us an email askign us to in fact delete the post and that he admitted lashing out at HFD out of frustration over a totally unrelated person, taking the question the wrong way He also asked that we send HFD his apologies.

Thanks
WebTeam

[HFDEXP777]

FF.1205- i wasnt exactly offended, just slightly caught off guard


dfdex1- apology accepted:)

[Steamer]

We've had some kids on the forums that have been, let's say less than receptive to advise. This is a young man of around 18 years old that lost a friend. I've spoken with him via e-mail, and he was sorry that he spoke out of turn, as it were.

There aren't too many young people out there that really know how to deal with this kind of situation. I, for one, can overlook this outburst. He has come a long way in the maturity of his posts, and is obviously willing to try. That's a far cry from what usually happens. HFD is to be commended as well for accepting dfdex1's apology.

Stress over the loss of a friend is never easy, but especially difficult when you don't know how to deal with it. He didn't realize it, but maybe he was asking for just a little help and understanding here. Maybe we all dropped the ball just a little.

[StayBack500FT]

I go away for ooooooooooooooone week.........***shrugs***

[dfdex1]

Well I was going to give a long explanation to this, but I shouldnt since my credibility has gone where the water goes after a fire.:(

I probally wont be doing much of anything here anymore. I just wont say anything to anyone anymore, if needed ill be muttleing away in the jr. fourm and on ocassion make a post. Im just afraid that the webteam is gonna boot me for good and I dont want that to happen,I rather enjoy firehouse.So I guess ill keep to my self then.

My thanks goes out to Steamer,Engine Lt.,Fire 1205,temp taker,tccfd explorer and co-firgal for there support and sticking up for me.
To those that said I was acting out of line and such do not know the whole picture, and they would be "Eating thier fists" if they knew the whole story.

Im not trying to bash or yell at anyone but I wanted to set the record straight.
Take care and stay safe
dfdex1

[ALSfirefighter]

DFD,
I don't want you to think I don't understand what you are going through. I just don't agree with the way you went about handling the case at hand. I'm not the most emotional or sensitive person in the world so my post was an attempt to tell you I understand, but give you my opinion on what you did. I didn't think the webteam would bar you, but I did agree with them locking the thread up and thought it would be even better if they deleted it all together. Don't sit on your hands, as I've said you have given some great posts, just try not to type what you automatically feel or don't agree with. I don't always like what people say, and I don't think as rationally as I try to type, I just don't have time to get upset or the desire too. Usually if someone gets a little snotty with me, I tell them I don't appreciate it and leave it at that. Your alright in my book dude, don't read into my post too much.

Webteam, I do agree with you, keep it level, that way its always fair no matter how much any percentage disagrees.
______________________________ ____________
IACOJ Bureau of EMS Chairman

[captstanm1]

DFDEX1...Welcome back...

Just remember it is not what you say but how you say it. I stick by my advice that I have give you and others before. Be sure of what you are saying and then read it again before you send it to make sure you are sure that you are sure what you are saying.

Don't sit back and to nothing. It is call "discretion", "common sense" and "thinking outside the box" young man. Use all those philosophies and you will be fine. Sometimes you have to "count to 10" before you respond....

We all have had the open mouth and insert foot syndrome from time to time...myself included. Some of us it takes a bit longer to learn the lesson...myself included.

Don't hesitate to express yourself..but do it diplomatically. If you are right in the way you present it...we will all stick by you.

Good luck and welcome back.... NOW...BEHAVE YOUNG MAN!:rolleyes: :D

[NightShade]

why is bashing not allowed in the forums but is in the firehouse chat?

[FlyingKiwi]

ROLMFAO

What was that about thinking first?

[Temptaker]

DFDEX

Welcome back my young friend. I'm glad that you chose not to remain silent.

Know that there are people who will try support you when you need it. Listen to what the 'crusties' have to say. The amount of knowledge and experience on these forums is staggering, and if the question is asked the right way there is no doubt in my mind that you WILL get an answer. :)